Dear Reader,
Today and many days before this... I have felt like a failure. Maybe it's because I hate the life I'm living or the fact that I have no real major accomplishments in my life. I feel like at twenty five I should have a list by now. Most people my age have a well paying job or at least maybe a job they enjoy. Mine makes me feel like I'm in a prison and on death row. It brings me nothing but depression and anxiety, wrapping me up until I can no longer breathe.
Maybe I feel like a failure because I still live at home when I dream of having a place of my own. The job I have doesn't give me those funds, especially when my bills are far too much and I can barely keep up. I would do anything to pay off my debt. How do I drop this never ending weight on my shoulders?
Am I behind if I'm not married with a child on the way? It feels like I am. I see everyone from high school getting married and posting their pregnancy announcements but I'm spending my days making ice cream cones and handing people dirty money. In the evenings I sit in my room and pick at what I hate about myself or spend them with the one person who makes me feel like less of a failure. I'm grateful to have someone who can make me forget because I know not many people do.
I keep hoping the pain in my chest will ease as time goes on. Maybe one day I'll amount to something great and actually be proud of myself, make the people I love proud of me. Then maybe I'll feel better and stable, calm and free.
Thanks for listening.
Sincerely,
Currently a failure
YOU ARE READING
Dear Reader by Cheyann Leigh
PoetryDear Reader, Welcome to a book of letters that are here to make you feel less alone and to teach you things I've learned and are still learning to this day. Some may be letters to myself or letters to you, please take them however you'd like. Ju...
