Max and Gnome 5: Gnometown

Part One

Max, Gnome and friends took a while to recuperate from their crazy experience escaping The Facility. They lived in Mendingbrew's house, which was now their own, and got along for the most part, with just a bit of scuffles and teasing. Even though the magic toys were small, there were seven of them living together, so something interesting was always going on."It's sad what happened in The Facility," lamented Max to Doll. They were perched on the kitchen counter with their legs hanging off and bouncing back and forth."Weren't we supposed to rescue the old toys that used to be here?" asked Max. "Yeah... that was the goal. How sad that we never saw them in The Facility..." said Doll."I know. And it was so dangerous and hard even briefly searching through it. I don't want to think about what happened to the other--"Max was interrupted by a knock on the front door. Doll looked nervous, and Gnome was stomping around in the living room nearby for some reason. Hearing the knock, he immediately launched himself up to the door handle and turned it, falling flat on his back. "Ouch," said Gnome crisply.Max was much more cautious about guests, so he hid in the sink and peered above it. No one was at the door. "What?" wondered Gnome. The knock had only been a few seconds before. Gnome looked around, but all he saw was a basket on the doorstep with some blue and purple flowers and an envelope. Max ran over and looked over Gnome's shoulder as he snatched the envelope. Doll followed and tried to drag the basket in the house. Max and Soldier helped her carry it into the living room."What nice flowers," she said. "Wonder what they're for? Are those purple lilies?""Maybe it's from Mendingbrew. He would definitely do something like this. I miss him," said Max."Presents!" said Gnome."Yeah, we should definitely go visit him," said Doll."I know you've heard a lot about The Island, and want to see it. Me too. It's been... half a year?" Max asked her.Suddenly Gnome started tearing the envelope apart with too much brute force. He damaged the paper inside."It says... you... are... invit to wit..." stammered Gnome. Strongman came over and started reading instead."You are invited to witness and celebrate the marriage of CHERISE GNOMSKA and THE EVIL WARLOCK (aka. Jon Noj) at 5pm tomorrow. There shall be much feasting and intense partying afterward," he read smoothly. Gnome was fascinated."He wrote a note by hand at the bottom... 'It is time to meet your family, Gnome. Open the trapdoor at 121 Mulberry Lane and you'll find us below,'" said Strongman."Well, LET'S GO!" yelled Gnome with his characteristic lack of restraint. "That sounds way too dangerous and sketchy," said Max, frowning."It sounds safe to me," replied Gnome. "DANGER LEVEL: OVER 9000," said Bot, rolling over."Yeah, it seems like a trick to me, besides, he's literally named The Evil Warlock and he's obviously magical," opined Strongman. "How could this possibly end well?""Maybe it is. But it's a PARTY," said Gnome stubbornly. "It sounds like an ambush," said Soldier, his eyes vacant. "But you don't even have a family, Gnome," said Max. "You were made in a factory like me, weren't you?" "Yeah I kinda remember being packaged up at a factory..." said Gnome, straining his few brain cells as hard as he could. "I don't know, I might remember somethin' else but I can't really tell...""I AM NOT LEAVING THIS LOCAT-" said Bot."Yeah, sorry bud, but I'm staying here as well," said Strongman. "I'd like to help you guys and protect you," said Soldier, looking sad. "I've just... I've been through too much."Doll patted him on the back and tried to comfort him. There was an awkward moment. "Come on Gnome, no one really wants to go on this adventure," said Max. "Yeah Max, I'm not up for it, as much as I love a good wedding," said Doll. Max felt butterflies in his stomach. He was speechless for a few seconds. "Hm," said Gnome. He cracked his knuckles. "I know no one wants to go with me, so I guess I'll have to go myself. Maybe I DO have a family living under the basement of some house.""Please, Gnome. It seems like a trap," pleaded Max."Yeah, but if I don't go, I'll never see if my family exists. And it would be so boring."Everyone started to look like they wanted to go do other things. Max sighed. "Alright, Gnome... I can't let you go alone. I'll have to come along," he acquiesced."Great," said Gnome. Max and Gnome took a nap so they had more energy, and at midnight, when there were no humans on the road to witness them, they planned their route. Or more accurately, Max planned their route."Time to go," said Gnome. He rounded up the others and they said their goodbyes. "Hope it goes well," said Strongman, hugging them. Soldier saluted silently. "GOODBYE," spoke Bot.Doll embraced Max. "See you soon," she said, her voice trembling. "Hope it goes well and you're able to meet Gnome's family..."Lepauchu had been sleeping all day, since he was nocturnal, so Max had to tell him everything that had occurred. "What a strange twist of events... Tell me about the other gnomes," said the hobgoblin, curious. "I wonder if they all have The Power of Brute Force.""We'll see," said Max. Waving, they left off to try to find the Victorian mansion. Max brought a page of the city map and had his trusty flower rope in his pocket. Gnome, being a master of preparedness, didn't bring anything, not even his favorite drink. They slowly made their way through the dark, quiet streets. A dog barked threateningly at them, but luckily it was stuck behind a fence. "This trip makes me nervous," said Max. "Yep," said Gnome, oblivious. They continued winding through the suburbs until they reached a strange, dilapidated corner on the outskirts of town. Everything was changing-- the houses were old and many of them were boarded up, sporting antiquated, angular architectural features. Max was nervous as they continued through the dark and eerie area of crumbling Victorian mansions and abandoned factories. "We're on the right street," said Max. Gnome kept walking along, looking pretty happy. "My family.." he mumbled to himself. Max looked at the street numbers until they finally reached 121 Mulberry Lane. It was a tall, imposing Victorian mansion with a coat of peeling purple paint. It looked abandoned."YES!" yelled Gnome, his voice bouncing off the surrounding buildings. "This is it!""Are you sure about this?" asked Max. "Yep," said Gnome, proceeding on.Even though it wasn't close to Halloween, something about the air that night had the same feeling. Max sighed and they went up to the front door and knocked. He thought he heard a bit of scuffling but nobody unlocked the door. They walked around the side and found a window that was cracked open. Gnome threw Max far up in the air and he grabbed the window ledge, pulling himself up. Then he took out his trusty flower rope and let Gnome climb up it. "We're in," said Gnome, trying to sound like a hacker. The inside of the house looked like it was frozen in time, and the kitchen only had an elaborate cast-iron stove that smelled of ashes. Chapter 2The friends made it through the kitchen, into a large parlor room. It had dark, ornately carved wooden chairs and tables. The floors and walls were a sooty black color. "No one's been in here in decades," said Max. "How crazy.""I KNOW!" yelled Gnome. "Shh, be quiet," said Max. "I heard a noise earlier and I don't know what it was.""But what if it was my family?" asked Gnome at a normal volume."I don't know," said Max. There was a black door at the far end of the room that was slightly ajar, as well as a door on the right. They quickly headed towards it. Suddenly, they heard rapid, rattling sounds from the right side. "Hurry!" said Max. They ran through the door onto a dark staircase leading down to the basement. Max peered back into the parlor for a second and saw two strange creatures enter it through the other door, searching for them. They were giant insects with long, spindly legs and bulbous eyes, and spoke to each other in a strange insect language.Max and Gnome headed quickly down the dark staircase. There was a T-junction at the bottom, and they went left to a humid, cold room made of stone. It was lit by a torch and had an elaborate wooden chest on the far side. To the left, standing against the wall, was an open Egyptian-style sarcophagus containing a mummy completely covered in wrappings. Max noted that the mummy didn't look ancient compared to Egyptian mummies he had previously seen. It seemed to be around the age of the house itself. "Whoa," said Gnome, looking at the mummy for a second then getting distracted by the chest and using all his brute force to try to pry it open. The insects began heading down the stairs."Hurry!" whispered Max. He jumped up and helped Gnome with all his strength. Together, they popped the chest open and quickly jumped inside just as the insects entered the room. They made buzzing noises to each other and searched around for a moment, particularly concerned about the mummy, then they left and investigated the other basement room. Max and Gnome were alone in the dark. They only found one thing in the chest, a small ruby. Gnome tried to bite it, then Max took it for himself. "Who knows what this does, but maybe it'll come in handy sometime," he said. After the insect creatures went back upstairs, they cautiously left the chest and looked at the mummy again. It stood there silently, but had a bit of an aura that it might be alive somehow. Max looked into the ruby. He saw the reflection of the mummy inside, which was creepy, so he hid the gem away in his pocket. They checked out the other room. It was also lit by a single torch, and had a dusty manhole cover on the floor and an eerie wooden tiki head in the corner. It was big and round, peering at them with a sardonic grin. "OOH! TIKIS! I NEED!" yelled Gnome, reaching out his arms automatically. Max was nervous about the idea of Gnome touching the mysterious, oily carving. "Quiet, Gnome!" shouted Max. Gnome got halfway to the tiki before they heard scuttling again. The bugs were after them!"Forget about the tiki!" said Max, trying to lift the manhole cover. "We need to go lower!"Gnome ran over to the tiki head and tapped it with his finger. As cool as it was, he started to realize it would be rather heavy to carry throughout their whole journey to the wedding party. "Hurry!" implored Max. The bugs scurried quickly down the stairs into their room. They stared judgmentally and prepared to make their next move."Ooops," said Gnome. One of them grabbed Max, who was still straining to lift the manhole cover. He was easily overpowered by the beetle-creature twice his size. "What are you doing to my friend, vermin?" yelled Gnome. The insect lifted Max into the air and started to squeeze him, then turned around, about to carry him upstairs. Gnome's rage made his brute force hit a leviathan level. He launched the tiki head straight at the giant bug. It was struck in the neck and crashed right into the floor, dropping Max. The other bug was by the staircase and looked on in fear and concern as Gnome instantly lifted the manhole cover and the two toys disappeared into the sewer below. Chapter 3They traveled as quickly as possible until they were sure the second beetle wasn't following them. The sewer was pitch black. Max and Gnome descended down a giant pipe, further and further, on a ladder made of tubular iron. This went on, with a mixture of discomfort and boredom, until they finally saw some light at the bottom of the tunnel. "What even were those bugs?" asked Max, squirming. "Roaches," said Gnome confidently. "Gotta smush 'em." He smiled. Max was creeped out by them but felt kind of bad for the injured one. "They were probably just defending their house, right?" he asked. Gnome didn't say anything. At the bottom of the ladder, they found themselves in the main sewer. It went off in a straight line to either side and consisted of a flat path beside a river of gross green water. "Well look at this wedding party," said Max sarcophagusly."It has to be somewhere," said Gnome, feeling defeated. They turned right and headed along the path. Once in a while, they saw a bit of garbage on the ground but there were no sounds except the subtle trickling of water. Max was happy there was no one else around.Eventually, they made it to a big four-way intersection. All the paths were identical except the one on the right, which had a faded old sign in green and white. It had an arrow under the text. "What's that say... 'meat grinder'?" asked Max, confused."Hmmph," said Gnome, "sounds interesting. I wanna see.""I don't think so, Gnome. We almost got taken away by the bugs because of your obsession with that tiki, so I think I'll have to make this decision." They continued straight ahead along the dimly lit, abandoned sewers, Gnome lagging behind a little because of his curiosity about the sign and annoyance at his friend. However, as they made their way through more and more twisting tunnels and dark passageways, they realized that they had gotten lost. Max and Gnome wandered around, trying to find a way to the wedding, but all they found were dead ends and locked metal doors."Ugh, there's no wedding. It was an ambush. Soldier was right, why didn't you trust him?" said Max."False," said Gnome. They continued at a slower pace. Finally, when Max was starting to seriously feel panicked, they found another manhole that went down at an angle. It led into a small concrete pipe which drained out into a moist cave filled with stalagmites and stalactites. The orange rocks jutted out in every direction. Somehow, they had a buttery look to them that made Gnome's stomach rumble. Not far away, they saw carvings in the wall. They consisted of pictograms of squat little creatures and some writing."Wow, the Carvings of The Ancients," remarked Max. "OMG! GNOME TOWN IS CLOSE!" bellowed Gnome, his voice echoing everywhere. "It's this way!" Gnome started running off and Max had to use all his energy to chase after him. The route narrowed a little and continued farther downwards. Ahead of them was a narrow, winding path that snaked its way through a steep and treacherous ravine. One wrong step could send them tumbling down the rocky slope, so they had to proceed with caution. They clung tightly to the rocky walls and shuffled along slowly, taking care not to slip. Gnome let some stones go falling down into the little river below. Max gulped.As they reached the end of the ravine, the river became wide and rushing, blocking their path. The current was strong and the air filled with mist, and there was no bridge nor boat in sight. But Max had an idea. He took out his flower rope and lassoed a stalagmite on the other side. The rope settled around it and Max pulled it tight. One at a time, they climbed across it with their arms like it was part of a jungle gym. Gnome's feet almost touched the water. He held on tightly as he made his way to the other side. Max went next, a little slower. It took a lot of strength. Finally, Max reached the opposite bank, relieved to have made it across.The path continued on a short distance before leading to a steep cliff. There seemed to be space above the cliff, however. "Now what?" said Gnome. "We've made it this far, we can't give up now," said Max, tired. Max took several tries to lasso another stalagmite at the top. He failed repeatedly. Gnome grabbed the rope and made a perfect throw with his Brute Force. Max climbed his way up to the top, but the rope seemed to be straining. Gnome started to climb and got about halfway, but the creaking noises of the rope became louder."Rope feels weird," complained Gnome."Hmm," said Max, nervous. "Put your feet right against the wall..." The rope suddenly snapped!"Ahh!" said Gnome, who fell a few feet and landed on a very narrow ledge. He almost lost his balance, wobbling, then managed to balance against the cliff, ten feet off from the ground. "Don't worry, Gnome, just stay there. I'll help you," said Max. Max looked ahead and saw some buildings nearby. The cave opened up, with the roof now fifty feet overhead."Yes!" he said, running towards the town. The structures were built in the squat, Baroque style of the gnomes, and the ones in the open were made of wood and stone. On the edges, they were literally carved right into the cave walls. Max couldn't see the entire town, but there were around ten similar buildings arranged in a circle. One of them had a sign saying 'General Store', and was one of the largest around. Several gnomes a tiny bit smaller than Gnome went about their business happily. When they noticed Max, they seemed rather surprised. Max headed into the store and found the storekeeper behind some shelves filled with unusual Gnomish goods."Hey, my gnome friend is stuck on the cliff wall that way. Can you help him up? Does anyone have any rope?" The storekeeper seemed surprised to see someone that wasn't a gnome or a human."No problem," he said, "I'll sell you this rope for three coins."Max paid him, slightly annoyed he wasn't getting help for free, then made his way back to Gnome and tossed him the rope. Max wished it was a flower rope, but a regular rope worked just fine. Gnome climbed up nervously and panted at the top. "That was crazy," said Gnome. They went to the town square. Gnome was ecstatic to see the town. "Wow!" he said. "Everyone's just like me!" Amazingly, there was even a tropical drink shop around, as well as a potion shop, some administrative buildings, a tailor, a mining center, and a few others. The area seemed vaguely familiar to Gnome somehow.Chapter 4Gnome stood at the center between all the buildings and soaked it in. "This is cool," he said. "I wonder if everyone here has the Power of Brute Force.""Maybe," said Max. A shopkeeper was trying to carry a heavy sack into the potion shop, so Gnome called to him."You need any help?" asked Gnome. "Perhaps," he replied. Gnome helped him carry the load into the shop. Inside, they began talking to the eccentric gnome shopkeeper as he unloaded empty beakers and bottles."What's your name?" asked Max. "Zephyr," he replied in an aged, shaky voice. "I've owned this potion shop for forty years. You should see some of my new wares-- I'm always experimenting with new potions. In fact, The Evil Warlock always says the only one better than me at magic is he himself!" Max was fascinated by all the strange bottles and vials on the shelves. They were full of dried leaves from myriad plants and colorful powders from various magical planes. Without permission, Gnome started to 'help' Zephyr with his latest creation in the alchemy section in the back. "One moment, I need to find some horsetail," said Zephyr, walking to the middle of the shop and fiddling around with some glass vials.Gnome threw some powder into the alembic, and suddenly Zephyr's latest potion exploded, leaving Gnome covered in a sticky purple goo. Zephyr quickly ran over. "Oh no, what a disaster!" he said. "Don't eat any of that or anything, who knows what it could do. I'll clean you up. You'll be alright, probably!"But Gnome ignored the alchemist and was more interested in licking up the potion that had exploded all over him. It tasted weird and bitter, but to his surprise, it had an aftertaste of delicious tropical juice! Zephyr looked on judgmentally and cleaned the rest of the potion off him. "Yumb," said Gnome. He started to notice that he felt even more stubborn than usual, but never connected it to drinking the potion."I think it's almost 5pm now. We have to hurry up and get to this wedding," said Max, who had an amazing internal clock and sense of direction."Nope-- juice." said Gnome."What do you mean?""That potion liquid got me in the mood for juice. I've made my mind up," said Gnome, smirking. "And when my mind gets made up, it never gets unmade. It's like a bed.""What?" asked Max, confused. "Beds get unmade in like one day.""Nope, once you make your bed, it's made FOREVER," affirmed Gnome. Max was very confused."That's not really how it works," he argued."FOREVER. FIVE-EVER, even. I'm thirsty." In the blink of an eye, Gnome had run over to a juice stand. It had a sign above saying "Snark's Shack of Shakes-- New and Exciting Juices for 2003!"Snark, a short gnome with a tall red wool cap, greeted him warmly."Hello there, my friend! What can I get for you today?" he asked, a twinkle in his eye."Juice," said Gnome."Yes, we have many juices here," Snark laughed. "Which one are you thinking?""Tropical juice," replied Gnome."Ah yes, we have several tropical juices," snarked Snark. "Read over the menu."Max came beside Gnome, looked at the menu board and saw a variety of exotic smoothies with names like Mango Magic and Pineapple Paradise. Gnome's mouth watered at the thought of trying them all."Get me The Mix," said Gnome."Excellent choice! Coming right up," said the shopkeeper, as he began to blend pineapple, coconut, and breadfruit together with a magical purple mortar-and-pestle."I think I'll have a Guanabana Guarantee smoothie, please," said Max. Snark finished up both their drinks. Max looked around the stand, admiring the bright and colorful decorations that adorned the walls. There were pictures of tropical fruits and flowers, as well as posters advertising various magical potions and spells from the potion shop they had just visited. Their drinks were served in coconut shells as Gnome preferred. He drank most of his in one gulp and licked his lips. Max enjoyed his as well, even though he usually wasn't into smoothies. "Your shop is amazing," said Max. "How did you learn to make such delicious drinks?"Snark grinned. "Ah, that is a secret of the trade, my friend. But let's just say that we gnomes have a knack for creating magical potions and elixirs, and that talent extends to our smoothies too! The Evil Warlock always says we have the best potions and magic in this town, better than anywhere else."Max nodded, impressed. "Sounds right. This certainly tastes magical," he said, taking another sip of his Mango Magic smoothie.The shopkeeper beamed. "I'm so glad you like it! Next time you need a refreshing drink, you know where to come."Gnome nodded, already planning his next visit. "I'll be back," he said, finishing his smoothie and throwing the empty shell into the back of the shop. "This place is truly amazing," said Max. "Are you the only shop like this around here?""Yep," Snark said, looking rather nervous.Chapter 6They walked around the rest of the town until it was time for the wedding, then asked one of the younger gnomes if he knew where it was going to take place."Oh, it's in the Warlock's Layer," the gnome said, "it's a pretty fun place.""The Warlock's Layer?" laughed Max. "Why is it spelled like that?" "How do you know how it's spelled?" asked the gnome. "You haven't even read it anywhere.""Because it's supposed to be The Warlock's Lair.""But they sound the same when you say them," protested the gnome. "Nevermind," replied Max. "Anyway, where is this layer?""Under The Mysterious Temple, over there. The Evil Warlock always says his layer is the best."The Mysterious Temple was in the back of town, set apart a little from the other buildings. It had thick stone columns in the chunky Gnominthian style, which contrasted to the slim Gnomonic pillars supporting the front of the potion shop. Inside was a large rectangular room with a big wooden block in the middle. It felt a little creepy. There were two doors at the back which led to an uncovered tunnel lined with torches. They continued down it, feeling a bit nervous, until the color of the walls slowly changed from familiar orange to a very dark gray. There was a babbling of conversation ahead. At the end of the tunnel, they found themselves in a large open room with a single door on the right. The room was almost as large as the center of town, filled with gnomes dressed in their most formal outfits and least crooked caps. It was decorated for the occasion with glittering crystals and twinkling fairy lights.Max and Gnome stood at the edge of the crowd, taking it all in. "I'm so excited!" said Gnome. "This is so cool!"A pair of gnomes walked up to them. "You look familiar," said the husband, who looked very strong."That might be him!" said the wife. "What's your name?""Gnome," said Gnome. The others whispered to each other for a moment."Oh my Warlock! I can't believe it!" said the wife, hugging Gnome. "I know who you are! How have you been, son?"Gnome felt happy to see his family, even though he didn't really remember them. "Good," said Gnome. "Been doing stuff." "Amazing!" said Gnome's dad, giving him a hug with a lot of brute force. It would have been too much for Max to withstand, luckily he didn't have to. Max finally realized the origin of Gnome's immense strength."It's been so long!" they said. We wondered where you had gone.""I don't remember... I barely remember being here, it's all so hazy," said Gnome. He thought about it harder. "You don't remember running away when you were younger?" she asked, concerned."I remember being packaged up in a factory, and being stuck in a toy shop before me and Max escaped..." said Gnome."Call me crazy," whispered Gnome's Dad, "but there's been a disappearance every year in this town. Who knows what's going on.""Oh it's fine, every town is like that. The Warlock says so," said Gnome's mom confidently."Well, it's so wonderful seeing you again, Bob," said Gnome's dad."Bob? That's my original name? Seriously?" asked Gnome, frowning in disappointment.Max snickered and wondered to himself if he was actually made in the factory or not. No one recognized him in Gnometown, so if he wasn't from the factory, he was from some other strange place."The ceremony is about to begin," interrupted the officiator at the end of the room. He called for silence, and a few moments later the last of the guests stopped their whispering.The officiator spoke at length about a bunch of exotic-sounding magic, symbols, and ceremonies. Everyone seemed interested in at and familiar with the terminology. At times, a band of gnomes playing a lute, a reedy box organ, and a fiddle would burst forth with strange music."And at this point, I call upon the powers of Nature and The Cave to bless this magical union!" said the officiator, who Max guessed might be the Evil Warlock's apprentice. A cloud of white smoke burst into existence above everyone and drifted around. It made everyone feel a sense of mystery and joy. Slowly, the smoke dissipated, and a line of gnomes walked down the aisle to an unusual bridal march that sounded like it would be at more home in the forests of Eastern Europe.The Evil Warlock looked different than they had expected. He was dressed in a sharp black suit, his hair was neatly combed, and his smile was charming and friendly. He looked to be about thirty years old, but something unspeakable was off about him.As the bride and groom exchanged their vows, a strange wind began to blow through the chamber, ruffling the fur on Max's arms and sending shivers down his spine. Suddenly, the groom let out a loud cry, and the wind intensified, sweeping through the chamber with a powerful force."To you I give this ring!" yelled The Evil Warlock. He grabbed a ring out of his hair, which amazed the crowd, and put it on the bride's finger. She gave him a ring in return.Max looked on in amazement as the groom lifted his arms and began to summon a powerful spell. The air crackled with magic, and the crystals overhead began to glow with an otherworldly light. Then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the wind died down, and the sorcerer's spell came to an end. The newlyweds shared a kiss, and the guests erupted into cheers and applause. Except Gnome."DIS-APPOINT-ING." said Gnome, feeling stubborn. Everyone gave him a judgmental look. "What was even the point of that spell?" Gnome added. Max elbowed him a bit, trying to keep him in line. "You dare threaten The Warlock?" threatened The Warlock. "If this wasn't my wedding, I would curse you for eternity! Luckily, it is my wedding. So carry on as usual."