Max and Gnome 5: Gnometown

Part Two

Chapter 7

The Evil Warlock distracted everyone with more petty magic tricks as twenty gnomes set up the room with tables and silverware for the feast. The Evil Warlock and his new bride were seated at the head table in the center, surrounded by their guests. Some of them passed out mugs of drink, which Max and Gnome took happily.

The Evil Warlock seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself, laughing and chatting with his guests. As Max and Gnome walked by their table, the bride Cherise, who was a beautiful gnome, greeted them warmly."Welcome, friends!" she said. "I'm so glad you could join us on this special day. How are you doing, Bob?"Max and Gnome felt uneasy, but didn't want to cause a scene. They decided to play along and see what would happen."Ok," said Gnome, annoyed at that name.The Evil Warlock turned to them and grinned. "Ah, my favorite wedding crashers! Please, join us for a toast."He raised his glass, and the room fell silent. "To love," he said. "And to the power of transformation."The guests raised their mugs full of Gnead and cheered, and Max and Gnome followed suit, still unsure of what was going on. The drink tasted thick and honeylike, with notes of caramel and bitter molasses.After the toast, the Evil Warlock leaned over to Max and Gnome and spoke in a low voice. "I know you're wary of me," he said. "Maybe because of my name. But I assure you, I've turned over a new leaf. I'm not interested in causing chaos nor destruction. I just want to live a peaceful life with my wife and be accepted by the community that loves me so much."Max and Gnome exchanged a skeptical glance. They found an opportune moment to slip away and sit down at a table in the corner with two unknown gnomes. All the other seats in the area had been taken. The waiters began bringing out silver platters full of food. The first course was prosciutto and mini bread. Gnome devoured it in a few seconds."This is pretty good," said Max. The other gnomes mostly talked to each other.Course after course was brought out: turkey, soup, scallops, chocolate cake, enchanted cupcakes, and candied mushrooms. Gnome was never satisfied but Max was happy to finally have some truly fancy cuisine. He wondered why The Evil Warlock was so rich. As the feast finally came to an end, the Evil Warlock approached Max and Gnome with a request."I need your help," he said, his charming smile still firmly in place. Max and Gnome exchanged a wary glance, but the Evil Warlock continued."My wife and I are planning to start a new life together in these caverns," he said. "But there are those who would try to slander us. Make sure no one says bad things about us or this town. Also..." he said, looking nervous for a second, "Have you seen my ruby anywhere? I've lost it recently... I'll pay a handsome sum to anyone that has it."Max was tempted to give him the ruby but his intuition told him not to."Umm--" said Gnome."No, we haven't seen it," interrupted Max. The two awkwardly walked away from The Evil Warlock."What's handsome mean?" asked Gnome. "How can a sun be handsome?""Nevermind," said Max. "He was just saying random things."There was a break and more chatting for a few minutes as a DJ set up his equipment. It was powered by a huge battery from The Evil Warlock's house nearby. Meanwhile, the band from the ceremony played happy tunes.As the first song from the DJ began, they watched as the Evil Warlock danced with his bride, twirling her around the dance floor with a grace and charm that belied his dark name. The townsgnomes smiled and cheered. With each song after that, the party became more insane, with blaring music, frenetic Gnome dancing, and flashing lights. The Evil Warlock's magic amped everything up to unimaginable levels. It all felt so in-the-moment and intense that it was hard to actually remember any of it.Max and Gnome danced until the party was over, then they tried to find Gnome's family but realized that many of the guests had left early. "I guess we'll have to sleep outside somewhere," said Max. "I don't know about this room. Let's go back up," said Gnome. They made their way up the huge tunnel out of The Evil Warlock's Layer and slept on some cushion moss at the southern corner of town. They woke up late the next morning, although the lack of sun made time quite confusing."I wish I knew exactly what time it was," complained Max."Time to shop!" said Gnome, stretching. They headed back through Gnometown, and noticed that the townspeople were celebrating. There were colorful banners hanging from the buildings, and the air was filled with the sweet scent of flowers and baked goods."What's going on?" asked Max, curious."Oh, haven't you heard?" said a passing gnome. "The Evil Warlock just got married! That means our town is even more united! How amazing!" he beamed. "Yeah, we just went to the wedding," said Gnome. "Lucky you! Too bad there wasn't room for everybody! The Evil Warlock is an amazing person!" said the other gnome, smiling way too brightly. "Oh yeah, why is he?" inquired Max."Because he says that every day! So it has to be true!" The gnome replied, skipping away. They went to the clothing shop and tried on crooked hats, canvas coats, and woolen capes. All the gnomish clothing was very bright and strong in color."This one's 20% off," bragged Gnome. They brought a hat for Gnome and coat for Max up to the counter."That'll be six coins," said the gnome behind the counter. Gnome dug around in his pocket for a long time and handed them over. The coins decomposed into dust when the shopkeeper grabbed them.Everyone was silent for a moment."Why did that happen?" asked Gnome. "Oh, that usually happens when someone loses the favor... of The Evil Warlock." the gnome sighed. "Not such a big deal, I guess" he continued, smiling fakely. "I guess I'll have to pay, then" said Max."I lost my money forever!" said Gnome, becoming enraged. "Nevermind, we're not getting anything! These clothes don't even have real style anyways!" Gnome tossed the two items all the way to the back of the shop.They walked away and got out of the town center, way behind the potion shop. Gnome spoke hastily to Max. "Something's wrong. We have to convince Cherise she made a mistake! The Evil Warlock is actually a bad person! He'd be a horrible husband.""Yeah, I think he is..." said Max. "I've always got a bad feeling about him...""Too bad this wasn't more obvious before," complained Gnome. They watched the gnomes go happily about their business in the town square."I miss Doll," said Max. "Yeah," said Gnome. "What are we gonna do, though? We gotta tell The Evil Warlock's wife about him."Chapter 8They decided to go back into the Warlock's Layer. It felt more lonesome and creepy with no one around. They entered the big room again."That's the door to his house," said Max. "Maybe we should just have a 'friendly visit'. Try to be nice. And follow along with whatever I do.""Alright, I guess," hesitated Gnome. They knocked on the door and shortly The Evil Warlock himself opened it."My my, who do we have here?" he said artificially. "Just stopping over to say our congratulations, and thanks for inviting us," said Max. "You're very welcome. Sit down at the table," he gestured. The first room in the house was a kitchen, followed by a line of rooms that eventually turned right. They went to the second, which was a dining area, and sat down at the round wooden table."Yeah. The food. It was good," said Gnome, rubbing his belly. "Glad you liked it," said The Evil Warlock. "What did you think of the music?""Excellent. So energetic," said Max."Yes... Wait there, I'll bring out some appetizers," said The Evil Warlock, standing up and heading towards the kitchen."Oh gosh, I have to use the restroom," said Max."Me too, I guess," said Gnome. "Right that way," pointed the warlock."Whew," said Max as they went into the third room, which was full of china cabinets with ivory figurines and tea sets. "He gives me the creeps."They turned right and entered a hallway with the bathroom to the left. Gnome went inside it."That was supposed to be a ploy, Gnome!" complained Max."Not for me," protested Gnome, slamming the door. Max ran further in until he saw Cherise sitting on a strange carved marble sofa and eating chips. "Cherise!" said Max. "I gotta tell you something.""What is it?" she asked calmly. "You wanna congratulate us on the wedding and our future?""No!" said Max, shaking his head. "That's not what I wanted to say at all... Think about it, Cherise. When we got the wedding invitation, and we saw who it was from--" there was the sound of a toilet flushing. "And it literally said The Evil Warlock, then we came into this town, and noticed--" Gnome walked into the room."Bob Gnomsky!" said Cherise. "How nice to see you!" Cherise gave Gnome a hug. "Anyway, what I was saying, do you notice how everyone in this town just parrots the same phrases?" said Max."Mm, chips," said Gnome, sticking his hand in the bag and chomping on some."They're always like, 'because The Warlock said so...'" parodied Max."Those are my chips Gnome, didn't you eat enough at the six course meal?""Nope," said Gnome."Well we have famously huge appetites. I can't blame you," said Cherise."Have you even been listening to me?" snapped Max."Huh? What's this guy's name?" asked Cherise to Gnome, looking at Max. "Mayweather?""Nah that's Max. I know him," said Gnome. Max shook his head and gave up. "See you later," he said, going back towards the kitchen. "Bye Cherise!" said Gnome, who followed after."See you later!" she waved.Max was angry when he saw The Evil Warlock again."I'm gonna be honest, I don't like how you control everyone in this town," he complained."What are you going to do about it? Everyone here loves me," said The Evil Warlock."I know. That's the problem. You have them so obsessed with you they don't even realize people here go missing every year!""Oh, The Big Detective has finally figured out The Greater Plan," laughed The Evil Warlock. "Your intelligence is nothing compared to mine."Gnome was furious at his best friend being insulted. He launched himself at the warlock with terrifying speed, but was batted away, and splatted into the fridge like a pancake. "Oww," said Gnome, slowly falling to the floor."And your brute force is nothing compared to mine!" yelled The Evil Warlock in a terrifying tone."So what, Max The Monkey? You can shout to the whole town from the square how evil I am, and how I run a Gnome-stealing ring that sends a gnome to the factory and the toy shop every year. They'll never believe you. You don't have my charisma.""You know what? That's exactly what we're gonna do!" said Max."I don't feel in the mood to let you leave," said The Evil Warlock, who was about to cast a spell to lock the front door. However, it slammed open and a strong gnome burst through. It was Gnome's dad!"Brute force time!" he declared, launching straight into The Evil Warlock's chest, toppling him over and knocking the wind out of him. He felt around on the floor."I'm going to cast a crushing spell on you miscreants!" The Evil Warlock sputtered."Come on, Gnome!" said Max. He picked Gnome up and started to carry him out the front of the house. From there, Gnome found his footing and they ran back up the tunnel. Gnome's dad followed five seconds behind."Thanks for the help, dad," said Gnome."No problem. I was at home and suddenly my Brute Force Radar went off in my head." He knocked his fist on his brain, making a sloshing sound. "Do you want to get rid of the Warlock and escape this town with us?" asked Max, hopeful. "Not really," said Gnome's dad. "What I really wanna do is eat seven sweetrolls," he said, tapping his rumbling stomach. They made it all the way back to town, where the gnomes were still in a festive mood from the wedding of their figurehead. Max got to the middle of the square and jumped up on Gnome's shoulders to deliver a speech. Gnome's dad meandered off to the bakery."People of Gnometown!" he yelled. "It may be hard to believe, but the truth you take for granted down here might not be the real truth! What if everything you've believed is a lie? When The Evil Warlock says something, you take it as the truth. But he's not honest, he's a liar!" Only one small gnome was paying any attention."This town has had an abduction every year, and The Evil Warlock denies it, but he is the one that's been stealing the gnomes from this town! You need to rise against him!"Gnome looked over his shoulder and saw The Evil Warlock peering around the side of a nearby building. The crowd still didn't really care about Max's speech and considered him a run-of-the-mill madman. As Max continued to try to persuade the gnomes, the Evil Warlock's behavior began to change. He grew increasingly agitated and paranoid, constantly looking over his shoulder and muttering to himself. Then he headed towards them. "Watch out!" said Gnome, letting Max down. "Oh no!" said Max. "Run!"They ran away, and The Evil Warlock shot a red bolt at them but it was a moment too late. Behind Snark's Shack of Shakes was a large abandoned metal minecart. They ran right up to it. The town of gnomes as well as Cherise and The Evil Warlock headed towards Max and Gnome threateningly. "We just have to lure the warlock onto this cart and send him away," whispered Max."Good idea," said Gnome. "Gnomes, you have to rule over yourselves! Don't trust this parlor magician!" said Max. The gnomes spoke loudly amongst themselves. "Who do you trust, good gnomes of Gnometown?" asked The Evil Warlock. "Your humble leader, or this blabbering loon?"The gnomes seemed to agree with The Evil Warlock. "Don't insult my husband!" yelled Cherise to loud applause. The gnomes were turning mean and getting closer. Gnome's dad made it towards the front of the pack. "See you later, son!" he yelled obliviously, waving. "Those sweetrolls sure were good!" The other gnomes raised their fists in the air and yelled, and there were at least a hundred of them."Help us! Use your Brute Force!" begged Max. Reluctantly, Gnome's dad launched at The Evil Warlock, but he wasn't angry enough for his brute force level to reach maximum. The warlock batted him aside with a wind spell. The angry crowd of gnomes was getting uncomfortably close and incredibly angry. "This isn't working. Get on the cart!" shouted Max, jumping into the mine cart. Gnome decided to trust the monkey, even though he had no idea what his plan was. Max flipped a lever on the front of the cart, which started a thumping steam engine. The crowd pushed even closer. The Evil Warlock launched a red bolt at them, which tore off part of the cart's side. A moment later, Max and Gnome started to accelerate up and away from the town. "No more juice for you!" yelled Snark, breaking away from the crowd and charging them with tremendous speed. Gnome kicked him away and soon the cart gained enough speed to outrun the pursuing townsgnomes. They looked smaller and smaller until the cart turned a bend and they went out of sight. The two friends watched the rocky walls beside them speed by in a blur."What is your plan anyway, Max?" asked Gnome. "The factory is not safe.""Don't worry. We'll hop off the cart right before the factory. And we'll sneak out from the factory. I'm not getting lost in those caverns and sewers again," he said, feeling a chill. Gnome gave a sigh of relief. Max started thinking about Gnome Town."You know what, some people just don't want help..." lamented Max. The cart kept up its speed and their surroundings started to look more like soil. Max was nervous about how to get home."I got an idea," said Gnome. "I'm going to open the best juice shop ever." Gnome smiled brightly.Far ahead, they saw the entrance to the factory. They hopped off the cart, leaving it crashing into the little barricade at the end of the track."What is this?" asked a factory worker nearby, investigating. "We're not expecting a toy shipment now..."Max and Gnome hid in the shadows until they didn't see anyone around. They walked into the factory room, which was full of machines and led to another large room on the left. On the right was a small door. They sneaked over to the door and opened it. It led to a row of office cubicles with frosted glass windows. They got to the end of it but didn't see any exits. Someone opened one of the office doors and spotted them."Hey! What are you doing escaping?" she said. Max and Gnome ran into the closest cubicle but there was another person inside. They dodged his attempts to grab them, and the other worker opened the door. Max and Gnome tried to run out but Max was grabbed. Gnome launched into the other worker but he didn't use enough brute force, and he was also restrained. The employees carried the toys back into the factory, where they handed them off to an assembly line worker who carefully packaged them up in cardboard packaging which said "Tropical Tourist Gnome" and "Maxwell the Educational Monkey". It was scary as Gnome felt the little plastic bands go around his arms and he felt that he was stuck to the package. The worker put them at the top of a stack of other toys resting on a pallet for a little while. They waited there confused."I wasn't expecting this," admitted Max, sighing. "Ugh, I know," said Gnome. They heard an engine. It was a forklift, which came over and loaded them into a big semi truck. The truck was very noisy."Should we escape now?" asked Gnome as they sat in the dark. "Not quite yet," said Max.The journey was quite long, and they eventually got loaded back off the truck and onto the shelves of the toy store where their journey first began. "It's ironic being here again," said Max. They waited a few minutes for the employees to go out of sight."Now," said Max. Gnome tried to use his brute force but he couldn't break free."I can't!" complained Gnome. "Gnome, you should have saved the town! You should have used your brute force and KICKED The Evil Warlock! Why are you so bad at accomplishing your goals?""I'M NOT BAD AT ACCOMPLISHING MY GOALS!" screamed Gnome, instantly breaking free. "Get me out too!" said Max."Oh yeah," said Gnome, breaking Max out of the package before his brute force tapered off. They sneaked through the store and got to the front door."Hey!" yelled an employee, spotting them. He started to chase after them as the toys slipped out. They ran to the edge the parking lot, where they hitched on to the antenna of a stopped car with Max's rope. The employee made it over to them, but he scared the driver who sped off quickly. Max and Gnome were almost thrown off the car, but they held tight. The car eventually got them to a place close to their home. "Let's get off here," said Max. At a stoplight, they hopped off and walked the rest of the way back to the house, following Max's amazing sense of direction. Luckily, no one saw them. It made Max and Gnome feel very happy and relieved when they saw their house up ahead. Doll was waiting at the door when they got back. Max ran into her arms and they hugged. "So nice to see you again. You've always been true to me, Doll" said Max. Doll looked into his eyes and smiled. Bot was watching them from the living room."SHE'S SUCH A DOLL," Bot said. "So what happened? How was the wedding?" asked Lepauchu, curious. He was perched behind Strongman, peering at Max and Gnome."It was insane. There were so many gnomes. There were so many party!" blurted Gnome."MAXIMUM GNOME!" said Bot. Max laughed and then became serious. "Well it was quite a thing. It turns out The Evil Warlock was evil after all... he controls all of Gnometown.""Wow, I can't believe it," said Soldier, rolling his eyes. "I told you the expedition would be dangerous.""At least they're in one piece," said Strongman. Everyone chatted for awhile about the wedding and the little Olympics event the rest of the toys had done while they were alone. Bot won the race and Soldier won the weightlifting event. Doll was the best diver, with a double frontflip.Out of nowhere, there was a familiar knocking at the door. Max felt a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. "Oh no! Don't answer it! The Evil Warlock is here to destroy everyone!""I don't think so," said Gnome. "DANGER LEVEL: OVER 9000," said Bot. Soldier had fear in his eyes again. Everyone stood there nervously for a minute, until they realized nothing more was happening. Eventually, Max worked up the courage to look through the front window and see if there was anyone at the door. There wasn't. Everyone crowded around the front door and Gnome opened it slowly. There was another basket, with no flowers this time. It had a letter like the last basket. "I'm too scared to read it, it might be cursed," stuttered Max. Strongman took the helm and opened the letter."It says... Dear Max and Gnome: you should know that I arranged these events. That is why I sent you the invitation. Why did I invite a gnome that I stole and gave to the toy shop in the first place, back to his hometown? Because I was bored. Very bored. My immortality spell has backfired and made me endlessly listless. It was fun battling you, but I needn't bother you any more. You have played your part in this symphony, and the concert is over. Enjoy the chocolate." Everyone looked at each other and back at the basket. At the bottom a very long bar of chocolate. "I don't trust that warlock, and I don't trust the chocolate one bit," said Max, about to grab it and throw it out. "We're probably already doomed." Strongman, in another moment of bravery, took the chocolate bar and removed the wrapping off one end. Max tried to stop him but failed."I think everything will be fine," Strongman said, about to sink his teeth into the candy."No! Strongman!" pleaded Max. "It's probably poisoned!"Strongman put his teeth on it and was about to bite when a shout echoed. "What are you doing? I'm not food!" said a feminine voice. "What?" asked Strongman, confused. The chocolate bar slipped out of his hands. It unwrapped itself a bit more and everyone saw that it was actually a living being. A living chocolate bar. "Whoa," said Gnome."Sorry," said Strongman, ashamed. "I didn't know... anyway, I'm Strongman," he said, introducing the rest of them after himself. "Nice to meet you all," replied chocolate bar, in her cute, high voice. "I'm Miss Choco!""GREETONGS, MISS CHOCO," said Bot. Miss Choco laughed and blushed. Soldier didn't seem brave enough to talk to her. Doll smiled and waved. "You're from The Evil Warlock's Layer?" inquired Max."Well the first thing I remember is coming to life in his kitchen. Maybe he put a spell on me or something. Then I stayed at his house for a few minutes before he teleported me over here with that letter.""Well enjoy your stay here," said Max. "This house used to belong to a wizard named Mendingbrew, who's still living at a magical island way out in the ocean. I'm sure you'll have fun here!" "Yes, for sure!" squeaked Miss Choco. "But I remember something else, too," she added, more serious. "The Evil Warlock said something to himself like... 'but if they ever find out about the mummy, I'll destroy them!' Then he looked ashamed like I wasn't supposed to hear that.""Whoa!" said Max."Interesting," said Strongman, stroking his chin. "What do you think, Bot?" asked Soldier."PROBABILITY OF MAGIC EXISTING: UNDER ONE PERCENT.""Magic exists, we've seen it. Just look at Miss Choco!" argued Max. Bot turned to face her."RECALIBRATING... PROBABILITY OF MAGIC EXISTING: NINETY NINE PERCENT."Max laughed. "Anyway, it sounds like the mummy might have something to do with The Evil Warlock being immortal... That's the idea of mummies anyway, for an eternal afterlife... unless...""I know what you mean," said Lepauchu. Remembering something at last, Max took the ruby out of his pocket and looked carefully inside. To his surprise, he dimly saw the mummy in the center of it."I think this ruby is magical," said Max. "But what does the mummy mean?""Wait a second, show me!" said Gnome greedily. He butted in and put his hand around the ruby."Not now, Gnome! I have to see if I can change anything about the mummy or see any more details of that room inside the-"The two started pulling the ruby in opposite directions."MINE!" laughed Gnome, activating brute force mode. He got control of it but his sheer power pushed him backwards quickly as Max let go. Gnome was thrown onto his back and the ruby was launched in the air. It fell on Bot, shattering into three pieces. "No!" said Max. "Now we'll never see!"Max felt horrible. All his dreams were dashed. If there was anything magical about the ruby, it was definitely gone by now. And no one around would want to accompany him back to the mansion or Gnometown to try to get rid of The Evil Warlock. No one except Gnome, who wasn't that reliable. "Wait," said Lepauchu suddenly, putting his hand up. He waddled over to Bot and took one of the fragments in his wrinkled hand. The hobgoblin looked into it and Max peered over his shoulder curiously. Inside the fragment, they could see the mummy moving. It was alive, but it was in pain."What's going on?" asked Miss Choco."Ahh, the ruby!" they heard a voice say, as if it was coming from another plane altogether. "I'm done for!" The voice was coming from the mummy, and sounded exactly like The Evil Warlock. To their astonishment, the toys saw that the mummy was slowly turning to dust, starting with his hands. As that happened, the wrappings began to fall to the floor, nothing more than parchment."Wow!" chirped Miss Choco."No more immortali-" the voice trailed off as the Warlock Mummy completely disappeared. Everyone stood there for a moment, stunned. "I can't believe it," said Strongman."That was cool," said Gnome. "Teehee!" squeaked Miss Choco, jumping and clapping her little hands. "I can't believe he mummified himself and made a clone. His magic truly was powerful-- it's a wonder we made it out in one piece..." analyzed Max. "Now that The Evil Warlock's true form is destroyed, I bet his young underground form will disappear as well, since it was just an illusion or clone the whole time... And then Gnometown will figure out how much of a sham he was.""Yes!" said Gnome, pumping his fist. "The bugs must have been the guards for The Evil Warlock, and that mansion must have been his house... It's all coming together," explained Max."What do you think Gnometown will do when they figure this out?" asked Lepauchu, concerned. "Well, they will probably have a very hard time. And then they'll keep going about their business as usual, but no one else will go missing. Maybe some of them will make it up to the surface world sometime," said Max. "As long as they get back to being normal gnomes, we could visit there," said Max. "Although I'm not sure I really want to be back there...""LET'S GO!" yelled Gnome. Lepauchu looked a little disappointed."Maybe next year," he said."Not right now," said Soldier, distracted by something. "NEGATIVE," spoke Bot. "MY BATTERY DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH CAPACITY.""I think I like it here more, teehee," giggled Miss Choco. "Not again," complained Gnome.