second choice. ʲʲᵏ ˣ ᵖʲᵐ

[08]

jeongguk lay on a white bed, barely conscious.

he could hear, as if through a long tunnel, voices speaking to him and shouting his name. there was an annoying beeping noise that wouldn't let him sleep. he could hear people crying, sobbing. why were people crying? he tried his best to open his eyes, his vision too bright and blurry, slowly focusing.

"jeongguk!" someone was beside him, their warm hand holding jeongguk's freezing one. the familiar voice spoke again. "jeongguk, baby, can you hear me?"

"mom?" jeongguk managed to say, weakly, the vision clearing. his mom had been sobbing. she looked a mess, her hair dirty. she looked as if she hadn't slept in days. jeongguk could make out the dark circles under her eyes.

jeongguk looked around him. he seemed to be in a hospital room, lying on a bed. the monitor beside him was beeping at a constant rate. there were needles in his arms and he could feel bandages wrapped around his head, where he felt a slight, throbbing pain. why could he not remember how he got here?

"oh, my baby!" his mother sobbed, leaning against jeongguk, trying to hug him softly on the bed without hurting him. "thank god you woke up!" her words triggered a memory in jeongguk's hazy mind. the dark, foggy night, the headlights, speeding towards them...

"where's jeonghyun?" jeongguk asked weakly, his eyebrows furrowing. his mom didn't answer, silent tears running down her face, looking down.

"you just focus on getting better, baby," she said, wiping her tears, and sniffling. but she hadn't answered his question.

"mommy, where's my hyung?!" jeongguk demanded. "where's my brother?!" when his mother refused to answer, a slow shiver started to creep up his back, the anxiety building in his stomach. the monitor started to beep furiously, faster and faster. oh no, oh no, oh no...

"shh honey. you need to calm down so you can get better." her silent tears continued to fall, but she managed put on a weak smile, as if that would make him think everything was okay.

jeongguk didn't care about getting better. "he's..." jeongguk started, his voice thick with emotion. "he's gone, isn't he?" tears threatened to spill as he waited for his mom's response. please, tell me i'm wrong. tell me he's still here, maybe lying in an another room, recovering. tell me he's still alive!

"i'm going to call a nurse and tell them you're awake," she sniffled instead, pressing the red nurse button next to his bed frame and leaving the room. as the door closed, jeongguk swore his mother sobs got louder, although muffled by the door.

at that moment, jeongguk didn't need anyone to tell him the truth. he knew. his brother was gone. and he was never coming back. tears pricked his eyes.

it's all your fault.

it's all-

"jeongguk! hello!"

someone suddenly shaking his shoulders and whispering loudly in his ear caused jeongguk to awake with a start, waving his arms all around as he sat up in surprise, which managed to smack a sleepy taehyung in the face.

"ow! what was that for?" he wailed, still whispering holding his cheek which was now slightly red.

last night, after the game night, he had asked taehyung if he could sleepover just in case eunho was still in his room with jimin. jeongguk had told taehyung he would sleep on the floor (to which taehyung had laughed at since they had had sleepovers in the same bed since childhood), but they both had clambered onto taehyung's bed to watch youtube videos together before they went to bed. and he didn't know who fell asleep first.