The Sandwich ( A Keanu Reeves Story)

What is going on?!

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The sandwich stood in front of me, intimidating me, as if to say " I'm too much, too tasty, too big of a task."

This sandwich was the Big Mama of sandwiches. It stood 2ft tall and taller than my baby nephew. Layers of turkey, prosciutto, cheddar, lettuce, spinach and pickles. It had tomatoes to pull the flavors together and brie cheese.It was mouth watering. Of course I could eat this sandwich later but I wanted to test it. Sitting outside the very place it was born, I tested the Deli Delight. But as it was so close, as I was about to live the dream I've had for 3 weeks, I heard my name called. "Jeroosh Macboobiefarty!" Lord, I hate that name. Thinking about it gave me a headache. But my sandwich would have to wait for me to answer the poor man walking towards me in the street. What was he thinking?! Cars were zooming by and he walked in the street. I realized as he was walking, the cars stopped in their tracks as he walked. His face got clearer as he walked towards me. The man looked to be one Keanu Reeves. (You know, the man from the Matrix. Which I recently watched.) He had a tough guy walk, he pushed ahead as if the ground had turned to mush. He was wearing a three piece suit. I had recently just watched the Matrix. I was confused as to why he was here and why he was walking in the road. A surging pain followed up to my head. 'Must be the name headache' so I pushed it off.

Keanu came up to me and I turned, the sandwich fell back down and sat on the plate. Had he grown legs? " Mr. Reeves." I looked down at my feet. "Please call me Gobbledygook, it was a nickname my mother had for me." He blushed and smiled, removing the glasses he had.He had stunning brown eyes that sparkled. " Your eyes." I said, " They are gorgeous!" The words coming out of my mouth didn't feel like my own. I wasn't disagreeing about what I was saying, but I wanted to ask questions. What was happening? What is going on and why am I standing in front of an A list actor? " Well. I appreciate it." He held out an apple. My sandwich reached his hand out, grabbing the apple and biting it in between a layer of turkey and cheddar. " HEY!" I screamed. 'What the heck!' I thoughtThe sandwich turned away and then became normal. His legs were gone. He got shy, like a turtle going back into its shell. Did I hurt the poor Deli Delight's feelings? No matter, Keanu had a more serious matter to attend to. I didn't particularly know what that was but I was hoping to find out. "Sorry Mr. Gobbledygook, continue."" It is not a problem. Sandwiches often pose with sanctimonious attitudes. The breed is terrifying.""Breed? It's a sandwich." I was confused." Do you live around here?" He showed with his hands, making a big circle. " Yes. For the past 10 years. It's New York. It's not a strange place to live?"" Are you being smart with me?" Keanu crossed his arms."No, No, No! But I am extremely confused" I started coughing up bubbles and my eyes widened. What was happening, seriously what was going on.

I shook my head violently. Pain surged in my throat and in my head. I was thinking too hard. Trying to figure out what was going on was giving me a headache. Keanu rushed towards me putting his hands on my head. He stopped my head from shaking,still coughing bubbles. I looked up coughing and no longer saw New york. I was at the table still and the sandwich was there. However instead of a small strip in New York, I was in a meadow. A green meadow you see when you dream of a meadow. What was this scenery? What is this change? There were sandwiches flocking around. They had small legs and the top piece of bread bounced as they ran. I stopped coughing and my sandwich got up and joined the crowd."Wow. Just wow" I choked a bit on the words. Man, my throat hurt. Keanu turned his head, and there was a group of sandwiches in a small circle. They sat on a blanket and ran around playing Duck, Duck, Goose. There were sandwiches in the middle, which seemed to be adult sandwiches. One played the bassoon to a perfect T. " Since- Since when did sandwiches play instruments?! Since when did any of this happen?" I exclaimed, my words finally catching up with my thoughts." Have you never seen a sandwich?" Keanu asked. "Yeah. To eat them? I'm extremely confused!" " Clearly you don't live around here. Sandwiches have been a draconian species for years." Keanu explained, looking at me weirdly."What is around here? When have sandwiches been a species?" "Let's go." Keanu grabbed my arm and pulled me forward. "Where are we going?" I exclaimed. I got no such answer as Keanu dragged me to where he needed to go.

Keanu had dragged me into a courtroom. What were we doing here? This one I needed an explanation for. I sat down on a pew and Keanu and I watched quietly. A huge sandwich sat in the judge's chair, he had one of those wigs on and the defendant and plaintiff places were filled. " Bah hoo wah saa eee" The judge said, smacking his gavel down." First witness to the stand." Keanu translated." This is not how a court trial works?" I whispered " You've never been in a sandwich courtroom." Keanu responded." Their justice system is different, trust me." Keanu explained." Why would I do that?" I said, the witness walked up to the stand. That witness was...MY SANDWICH! What the heck did he witness in the last several minutes since I saw him? What crime could he have committed in 8 minutes that got a court trial so quickly? " Bee wah boo." The cop bringing him to the stand said." See mah wah be wah" My sandwich responded." Do you promise to speak the truth and nothing but the truth. Yes of course." Keanu translated." Thanks for translating. But I would appreciate it if I knew why we were here?" " You'll get used to it."" To what?" I asked. I got no response so instead I asked, "What is this trail about?"" Cheating in Duck, Duck, Goose." Keanu said calmly like it was normal.

I suppose Keanu was right about the draconian society sandwiches live in. The trail went on as I zoned out. I was too focused on a small painting in the courtroom. It was the 'Dogs playing poker' painting but it wasn't what I remember. Each sandwich looked focused on each card. One was cheating, holding a card under him. I have so many questions and why is 'Dogs Playing Poker' in a courtroom? Sandwiches must appreciate a good piece of art. Keanu tapped my shoulder, I jumped. " Hey, how many cheating cases do these things get? And why is it a punishable offense?" I asked." My guess would be way more than you think and Sandwiches are notoriously competitive. Games are taken very seriously" He looked at me and put his finger up to his mouth. I turned my head to the aisle, where a sandwich was in handcuffs. " He got arrested." Keanu explained. " I hadn't noticed." I said. " I think that's the end of the trial and your time here."