Existence

Part One: In Posse - Preamble

Three knocks thumped upon my door.

"My Lady?"

"Yes." I answered.

"Can I come in, My Lady?"

"Yes." I said calmly.

A young man, black of hair and fair of skin entered shyly and turned his back to me, looking intently and the door.

"What is it Jyacob?" I asked the apparent young man. He is, as I know, not as young has he appears - far older than me in fact, by decades. He looked no older that a brother few years my senior.

"Just a few matters that needs your attention, My Lady."

I have known Jyacob for a time now. He has always been trustworthy and caring to me - and most of all, chivalrous. For him to enter my chamber while I still prepare myself for the day - these matters were surely important enough for him to visit me so.

"Speak." I told him softly.

I hold Jyacob in great esteem and value him both as an advisor and, I hope, friend. He has always kept a distance between us from the first time of our meeting to now, as is proper. I understand and respect such etiquette, but find it more tiresome often than none.

I never though I would one day be treated as such. My upbringing being as it was, foresaw quite a different future ahead of me. Though my family's estate was considered poor, I never lacked care, affection, food and shelter - at the very least, for the most part of my life. Still, it was evident I would never raise beyond my standing. Even the prettiest women can't hope to marry above there standing. As such, I never basked into any form of luxuries until a few years from now.

After most of my family got decimated by a speeding sickness from the South that brought upon all illness and famine, I all but expected further hardship, which is what awaited me. Only at the worst of my life did everything changed. It became so sudden, I still to this day find awkwardness in the everyday moments.

As of today, I find it hard to have a full conversation with someone that would not only refuse to look at me, but keep his back to me. It is not like I was naked.

And so, I did not put on further efforts to look at him and kept my back to his, brushing carefully my hair and placing each strand properly in an adequate hairdo.

I plucked mother of pearl strands of ornamented chains to my hair, coiling them one by one as Jyacob explained the matters at hand and as I drew my decision upon them, I finished my task, leaving the bottom part of my hair loose, curling softly upon my shoulders to my breasts.

I turned finally to him and went to open the door. He preceded me in doing so and opened it for me, stepping aside as I walked through the doorway to my antechamber.

Jyacob walked me to the doors leading to the backyard, speaking mostly of matters of the city. He always spoke very little of anything else, and upon my arrival within the centre courtyard of the castle, I lay my eyes upon the sea of blood and wriggling bodies before me and smiled, forgetting all about awkwardness and all that is proper. I descended the steps slowly with my hands shaking slightly in anticipation. I licked my lips and joined the fray.

Blood is the sweetest of liberation.

The strongest bond.

The deepest salvation.

Blood is life and death.

Blood is rebirth.

Blood is mine.