bubbles and bath oils

bubble baths

hello! right so a little authors note before we begin, this is an AU where AAD are married and this is set in November time 2018, if you do not like this sort of thing please do not read it!! thank you :) this is definitely longer, and it's just a little fluffy comfort thing, hope you enjoy!! 

3.5k words  

It had taken a little while, to get used to the change.

For both men, but at this time especially Anthony McPartlin, having decided, alongside his husband and best friend's support and encouragement, that going back to work was the last thing he needed to focus on, and a year off would do him the world of good. Clearly, citing that his recovery was more important.

Work was, quite naturally the last thing on his mind.

So the first time, in near on 25 years of working, he was actually able to partake in hobbies he had neglected for so long and he was actually able to spend time with his family, namely his mam and sister and her family, without being worried about the deadlines or when he had to be back to work. He was able to do practically anything at any time with little to no restrictions that come dutifully from a full time job.

It was so different.

He was trying his absolute best to find his place in this routine, trying to find himself again. Which was going, he was elated to admit, quite well. He re-found his love of baking, having stopped doing it years ago, for reasons he most likely didn't want to remember. He was re-finding himself, what made him tick, what made him smile, what made him happy and what made him feel like he had a purpose.

Being able to watch whatever he wanted to on telly (namely history programmes), go outside with his Hurley, (and rocky, if he was also up for it) to be able to breathe and relax for a couple moments, not too loose himself in the hub bub of daily life. To be able to focus on himself, and other relationships that, upsettingly, but understandably needed time to heal.

Namely one, massive relationship, he still felt awful about.

Being alone for a while was doing quite a bit of good for him, there was still a massive, very noticeable absent from his day to day life. Declan. They've been joint to the hip for as long as Ant can care to remember, and to have suddenly change and turned upside-down to be only blamed from your own stupid actions, was admittedly awful.

Ant didn't like it.

From his moments where he was happily wondering down the lanes of his mind, a place that used to be so dark, so dreary, his thoughts turning into knifes and cruel words used against him; he noticed that there was always that one thing that made him smile. Made him feel happy within himself, and about himself. One constant that didn't falter throughout his life time. His one shining light that hasn't darkened or dwindled in years past, only growing stronger and brighter, as his dark shadow had overtaken his life and his outlook.

Dec.

Dec never left. He never turned his back on Ant, never gave up on him when signs were shouting at him to do so. Yeah, people might think that their co-depenance is unhealthy, but they've strived off that fact for years. They work best together. Even when Ant was in the worst of his own addictions, Dec always managed to make him smile, even if just of a small while.

It made Ant think, if anything. That was probably the reason as to why he never let on that he was struggling. He couldn't lose his light. He knows now, that was probably the stupidest things he's ever done, but in his hazy mind, he didn't want Dec to be ashamed of him, he didn't want to lose any piece of respect and affection that he was handed so easily from the smaller man.