Golden Time (JungYong)

68

It was 7pm. 

Suhyuk was sitting in Prof. Han's office. 

"Would you like some coffee?"

"No thanks, sir."

Looking at Suhyuk, Han stirred the coffee inside a paper cup. 

And he sat, face to face with Suhyuk.

"Do you have any concerns? You don't look so good."

Fixing his eyes on the table, Suhyuk replied shortly, "No, sir."

Taking the coffee to his lips, Han looked at him.

Just like a stone statue, who just showed indifference to his fellow medical staff, there was no change in his expression.

However, his face varied whenever he met with patients, as if he was a different person.

Sipping coffee, Han said to him suddenly, 

"A doctor is not God."

Suhyuk made a curious expression, not being able to figure out what he meant. 

With a smile, Prof. Han took the paper cup to his lips.

There was a brief moment of silence between them.

Then Han said, "Patient Lee Jinho. Well, we couldn't anything further for him."

His body had been already overtaken by cancer cells, so they could not treat him.

Just having him hospitalized at the hospital was like killing his remaining time.

That's why he did not try to have him, who said he wanted to get discharged, remain any longer. 

"So, don't blame yourself," said Han.

"If we were god, could we treat him?'

Han just smiled bitterly at his asking.

"Do you know what? There were more than twenty patients who died before my eyes. Do you know what I thought then?"

Suhyuk looked at him.

"When I first performed the surgery, I was just crazy when the patient's condition got worse. Because it all looked like my fault. Then, one year, then two, passed and I came to pray like this: If there is a God out there, please let the patients open their eyes."

Putting down the paper coffee cup, Han opened his mouth again,

"Do you know what I think these days? I did my best, to the best of my ability. That's what I did to patient Lee Jinho."

Suhyuk nodded his head feebly.

"Did you ask me if God would have treated him?"

He was silently waiting for the professor's reply. 

"In my mind, there seemed to be no God. Because God never accepted my favor. Instead, the patient's family was reflected in my eyes."

Sometimes a patient who was about to die could regain his consciousness when he felt his family's dedicated caring, and some patient's heart began to beat miraculously when he heard the family's voice. That was unexplainable in the medical world. It was just a miracle.

"The strength of the family took God's place, is what I thought."

Listening to him quietly, Suhyuk rose from his seat, saying, "Let me take my leave, sir."

"Okay, don't go to the patient's room. Go straight home and have some rest. Let me inform them, so just go home. Okay?"

Suhyuk just bowed his head at his words.