the start of an era

Story of my Life

Fear, anxiety, desperation, hope and joy. From the initial shock of a diagnosis to the relief of a successful surgery. A place where emotions run the gamut. The sound of constant beeping from machines, the chatter of staff trying to communicate with each other, and the wails of patients in pain. The smell of disinfectants, medicines, and bodily fluids all mingling together in a pungent concoction. The sight of hurried doctors and nurses rushing down the hallways, carts filled with medical supplies trailing behind them. 

In the midst of the chaos, emotions run high. Loved ones of patients anxiously pace the halls, their faces etched with worry and fear. Patients themselves cry out for help, their pain and suffering palpable. Doctors and medical staff, their faces etched with a determined focus, move from one patient to another, working tirelessly to provide care and support. And one of the many doctors that exist in this world is me. 

Hi, my name is Ally, and I'm a doctor at the local hospital. I've always been a bit (very) shy and reserved, ever since I was a little girl. I'm a perfectionist at heart, and I always try to do my best in everything I do, no matter how big or small.

But despite my best efforts, I'm always anxious, always worried about what others might think of me. I know it's not healthy, but I can't help it. It's like a constant voice in the back of my mind, telling me that I'm not good enough, that I'll never measure up to everyone else's expectations.

I try to hide my fears and insecurities from the outside world, putting on a brave face and pretending that everything is okay. But deep down, I'm always afraid, always worried that I'll make a mistake or say the wrong things.

Working at the hospital has been both a blessing and a curse for me. On the one hand, it's given me a sense of purpose and fulfilment that I've never felt before. I love being able to help people, to make a difference in their lives when they need it the most.

But on the other hand, the hospital can be a stressful and demanding environment, full of high-stakes situations and life-or-death decisions. It's a place where mistakes can have serious consequences, and where there's always someone watching, always ready to criticise or judge.

On first day as a doctor at the hospital, I was a bundle of nerves. I had spent years studying and training for this moment, but nothing could have prepared me for the chaos and bustle of a real-life medical facility.

As I made my way down the winding corridors, trying to memorise the labyrinthine layout of the hospital, I felt completely lost. Everywhere I looked, there were doctors and nurses rushing past, patients being wheeled on gurneys, and a never-ending stream of beeping monitors and ringing phones.

As I turned a corner, I collided with someone and nearly fell to the ground. I was mortified and scrambled to apologise, but the person I had run into just smiled and offered me a hand up.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice calm and reassuring.

The man smiled, and I noticed for the first time how strikingly handsome he was. I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy for all the nurses who got to work with him every day.

"Don't worry about it," he said, his voice soothing. "It happens all the time."

"It's my first day," I explained, hoping to redeem myself in some small way.

He just nodded, his expression understanding. "It can be overwhelming at first but it'll get better. I'd love to help, but I have a patient in the OR waiting for me. You've come so far to reach where you are now. Welcome to a new chapter of your life!"

As we parted ways, I couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for Ryle's kindness and patience. I knew that I had made a fool of myself, but his generosity in the face of my embarrassment gave me hope that I could find my way in this chaotic, unpredictable world of medicine.

It gets better, alright. I don't know how, but I was immediately adopted by an extrovert that day. I remembered seeing this girl with brunette hair and hazel eyes staring at me intently while I was introducing myself to everyone as if she was weighing the pros and cons on whether to adopt me as one of her own. Well, I was sure lucky to have Maddy as one of the first friends here. 

At times, it seemed as if the hospital was a microcosm of the world at large, with all its complex relationships and power struggles played out in miniature. There were cliques and factions, alliances and rivalries, each one vying for power and influence within the hospital's hierarchy.

One individual in particular that was often talked about was Ryle, the Senior Neurologist. Many described him as the most handsome doctor in the hospital, and it was hard to argue with that sentiment. Ryle had a striking appearance and could easily pass for a model. "That's not even the juicy stuff, you know,  what made him stand out even more was his stern demeanor. No one has ever seen him smile, like EVER, which only adds to his mystique." Maddy whispered like one of those gossip girls. She proceeded to show me a picture of him. My eyes widened as I choked over the sandwich in my mouth. It's him! The guy I bumped into this morning...