In my mind , I see a child crying and screaming for help . People pass by not noticing that the child’s in pain the problem is the child is silent . All her emotions hidden . She silently cries trying to keep her tears inside everyday . Every time someone asks she says she’s fine . Where can she go and what can she do ? She’s scared to be known as crazy or hated because of who she really is . She's always hidden covering it by all the pain . No one has tried to uncover her to know that this child can do so much for the world yet she still struggles to speak. All she can do is wait . Thinking about death has become her friend. Taking drugs and starving herself are her daily hobbies. This child knows but can’t feel as her heart breaks everyday. She tries to help but she gets stabbed. What more can I say ? this child will always be in my mind.
As she tries to get through what hits her , her heart pushes and pushes everyday the heavy pain from all that attack her . People come and complain to her , they blindly ignore the cries within her deep eyes . They think its just an act to bring in people into her life . They mistaken her for a bad person as she takes out all the pain by doing good things to everyone .They all say " stop " when she tries but sadly no one understands . What can she tell these people how she is when her silence is not understood? Well , this child known as lily lives a life that just continues as she fights to survive the obstacles thrown at her. She smiles and goes on through her daily routine.
When in school , she walks around looking at people wondering where people think about her . Is she normal ? Why is she doing all this ? She's hiding something isn't she ? No wonder nobody likes her , she's seems so suspicious ! Some of these thoughts she has overheard and gotten slapped with these words daily.
As she sits in class she hears all the cries of other people's heart begging for a listen but they just show a smile . Confused ? Yes , upon which these people won't bother lifting themselves to help out other people to make a change.
Days pass by as she trys to think about how to stop these racing thoughts going through her mind . Her only cure has let her down and all she can do now is move on . Her friends complain see that teen hood is like a small boat thrashing against the waves of life in a thunder storm . As time passes by , she realises goodbye's going to be so hard .Her mother always on her side gives her comfort as the rest of her family are away. Everytime her sister arrives home . She feels jealous that her sister is taking away all the attention away from her but this is what happens and it hurts to say this. I can't bare this anymore knowing that I will be graduating soon .
Through all that I've gone through what is to come will kill me and I don't think I will be able to hold my tears . Everything going on is turning me into a monster . I cry oceans of tears behind closed doors . I scream inside everytime someone hugs her. What can I do ? I'm bipolar . Can I survive this ? Yes , I can .this child changes as you can see .She doesn't know how to handle life because the child within is alive and flourishing while the teen survives. A none ending battle . Creating her own war within herself. Of most things this is what can close down a soul.As I write the child is walking alongside a patth . On her left there's a dark forest and to her right a wide beach calm and very inviting. The child stands still wondering wheree to head too. She continues on her way forward . As she walks the forest persuades her to come that way calling her by making the trees dance to attract her attention.Then her right side the sun appears as it begins to rain , a rainbow appears over the horizon. Lily hesitates . Confused and lost she heads back now walking the opposite direction. Life is calling upon this child to begin living but she struggles to accept that she can live as everyday she is faced with countless drama and gets stabbed so that she can feel the least bit alive.All the feelings she holds within her are always kept inside . Thinking this would make her strong. Breaking down within the nights as not to be seen by everyone.
