The ordinary life of an ordinary girl

24th May 2015

So...I'm kind of fucked up right know. Today my crush aka best male friend was at my house. Yeah...I have a crush on my best male friend. So first of all I'll tell the story : So one year ago I just spend a lot of time with my male best friend. But it turned out that we both had feelings for each other. So every time we met we would cuddle and make out. Apparently one day he suddenly didn't have feelings for me anymore while my feelings would get more and more.
So, basically we ignored each other for 2 months and now we are best friends again. With the only problem that I'm still falling for him. When he comes to my house we always end up cuddling. He always lays his arms around me. In this moments I feel safe and healed. But as soon as he leaves I feel my heart breaking all over again. Another important detail: he has no clue of my feelings.
Today it was like always. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt like a little kid on his birthday party. But then suddenly he lifts me up so that I would sit on him. Literally on him. I automatically felt my heart beating faster. He always wants to steel my phone so he pressed my body against his and behind my back he looked through my phone. As soon as I recognized it. I took my phone out of his hands and pressed his head against my chest so that he couldn't see the horrible photos. Then I almost shouted : "Oh my god"
I was seriously pressing my best friends face against my breast. Yeah, Beth well done.
But wait...he suddenly turned us around. So that he was sitting on top of me. Did I mention my best friend is the hottest guy I know? Well, he definitely is.
I tried to hide my phone but no ways he was much more stronger than me. So he just grabbed my phone sat down next to me and put his arms around me.
Another important detail: he always puts his hands under my shirt. And I don't know is this still friendship?
Anyways he came because yesterday there was a huge beef between me, him another 2 girls and my other best male friend Luke.
So I know Cody (my crush) has something going on with a girl and I feel like everybody knows it. Recently I made a new friendship with Sammy. I have some classes with her. I knew she had an enormous crush on Cody too. So I started talking to her about him hoping she would understand me. And she did. She and Cody are friends too. Sammy asked him whether he had something going on with someone and he trusted her and said yes. And know is the part when it becomes really complicated. Sammy ended up lying to me and Cody and also involving another girl named Hanna who has also a crush on Cody and Luke.
It was such a chaos. Sammy lied into my face with no problems and I won't trust her anymore.
Well, I feel like I'm writing shit so I'm just going to sleep now.

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pls correct my language in the comments :D
did you like the first part of this book or is it too confusing?
Love