𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧ˡ𝙡ⁱ𝙖ᶠ𝙨ᵉ𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜

Oneshot 003 :)

Topic: Random
Ages:
M/n 29
Katsuki 27
Twins 10
Soma 8 months
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Ah yes, just a peaceful morning in the L/n household. You and Katsuki were sleeping with Soma resting between the two of you. This is how the mornings were always like. Quiet and peaceful.

"DADDYYYYYYYYYY!"

Lol, sike I lied. It's the L/n house, what do you expect? There's no such thing as peace and quiet.

Kimiko slammed your bedroom door open startling all three of you awake. "KASUMI USED HER QUIRK ON MY PORTRAIT OF BEYONCÈ!" You could see the steam coming from her ears as she pointed at her crying twin.

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I PROMISE!"

"YOU LIAR! YOU WENT UP TO IT AND PURPOSELY BLEW IT UP!" As they went back and forth you rubbed the sleepiness out of your eyes.

"Miko, go blow up her doll house or some shit, just stop yelling." Without hesitation Kimiko ran out the room and into their shared room.

"HUH- WHAT? NOT MY DOLL HOUSE, I SAID IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! PAPA ARE YOU GONNA LET THIS HAPPEN?!"

Katsuki just closed his eyes. "I'm dead"

"UGH!" She groaned before running off to her room.

It was fine, you were planning on replacing that junk anyway. Less work for you.

"Welp, I guess it's time for the day to start" You said sitting up from the bed and picking up the now awake baby but his armpits. "Good morning my little handsome ball of sunshine" You kissed his chubby cheeks causing him to squeal and slap his small hands on your face. "Good morning to you too Kat"

You leaned close to him with your lips puckered "gimme a kiss-" But instead of a kiss you were met with a hand to your face pushing you away.

"It's too fuckin early."

"Well like a wise person once said. The early bird gets the worm. Or in your case my di-"

"Shut the fuck up, you're always so horny!"

"Only for you babe~"

A small blush lit his cheeks as he sat up and got outta bed. "Fuck you. I'm gonna go make breakfast." You and Soma just watched as he limped out the room, closing the door behind him.

"...Looks like Papa's on his manly period."

"Lmao, I'm dead💀"

"Pft, you sure are my son... Wait wha-"

~•○~

"Alright, you got twenty-five minutes to pick out three things you want. After that time is up, whatever you have is what you get. And if you don't want it, too bad, you don't get shit. Understood?" Katsuki told the girls, tapping away at his phone and getting ready to set a timer.

At the moment the five of you were at the toy store, spoiling your kids just a little.

"Yes sir!"

"The time starts.. now"

"GO GO GO!" The people in the store looked at you weirdly while your two girls raced off into the land of toys. "You go with Kasumi, I go with Kimiko?" Katsuki nodded then the both of you jogged off to catch up with each twin.

"What do I want..." Kasumi looked through the isles in search of something that catches her eye. When she finally seen the most beautiful thing in the world. She let out the most dramatic gasp.

It was a large Mineta doll dressed in a very poofy pink and glittery dress the doll even came with a gun and a box of grape juice.

She practically teleported in front of the box and as soon as she was about to reach for it, another hand grabbed it. She looked at the child as emptiness filled her insides. She was becoming emo.

"Mama! I want this-!"

"Fuck you"

"AH-!"

Kasumi socked her square in the face and took the doll. As she did that Katsuki showed up and so did the mother of the child.

"OH MY GOODNESS- WHORE ARE YOU OKAY?!"

"My nose hurts!" Whore cried.

"You naughty little girl!"

"Excuse you?" Katsuki looked down at the woman.

"C-can't you see?! She assaulted my child!"

"First of all, the little girl obviously assaulted my daughter-"

"Excuse me! My child isn't a girl! They identify as shit!"

"Hoe what the fuck?"

"How do you know my- it doesn't matter, what matters is my stanky is obviously bleeding!"

Katsuki gave her a disgusted look. "Your fucking child punched my daughter in the face"

"What?! My poo is the one who got punc-!"

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"What? No-!"

"Did you just call me fat?"

"HUH-!?"

"Why would you punch your own damn child?!" Kasumi looked up at her father confused but then got the message and started playing along.

"Papa, I'm scared!" She hugged him.

"Did you just threaten to kill my daughter?!" Katsuki glared at the lady who was confused and scared at the same time now that there were people gathering around and whispering.

"I-I DID NOT! HE'S OBVIOUSLY LYING- BOTH HIM AND THAT-THAT BRAT!"

"Did you just call my child a bitch?!"

"I heard her call the child a bitch too"

"She abused her own child?"

"Poor baby... she's shaking in her boots seeking her father's protection.."

"I'll get security!"

"BUT-BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"Ma'am you're gonna have to come with us" The security guard the escorted the lady out and got help for the child.

Whore didn't even try to defend their mom, that's crazy💀

As soon as no one was looking, Katsuki slapped his daughter on the back of her head. "That damn toy better be worth it. You got me acting like a damn fool just like yo daddy."

After she got her things the five of you grouped up at the cash register and got in the car to leave.

"Wow daddy you should have seen it! Papa was all like 'you calling me fat?' And I was like 'papa I'm scared save me!' Then the lady got arrested!"

"Sound like papa had the time of his life"

"Uhn-huh!"

"Boring! Daddy was effortlessly rizzing up all the ladies while I took their wallets! Soma was rizzing the babies too so they wouldn't alert the moms! Now I got five hundred dollars in cash, two credit cards and a picture of a dinosaur eating his own head off!"

"LUCKY!"

"How the fu- YOU DID WHAT-?!"

________________________________________

Hello.. it's me.. I was wondering if after all these years you lied to me..

Lemme stop-

Did some of y'all miss me tho?

-JJ