( √ ) dear best friend | seulrene

( 13 )

My heart pounded to my throat as my gaze fleetingly searched the door before I flashed my cell phone display every five seconds to find out if Seulgi had sent me another message. Maybe she was still stuck in traffic, maybe something had happened - maybe she wasn't even showing up today.

Thoughts piled up, forming a wave of uncertainty under which my heart disappeared before it completely collapsed on me.

"Joohyun."

My condition was miserable, I hadn't even heard Seulgi struggle forward to the small table as my thoughts kept me well in check.

"Hello Seulgi." I was no longer in control of anything; against my will, I immediately stood up and didn't hesitate to take the insecure woman in my arms, who was slow to briefly put her arms around me, but visibly uncomfortable, which I skillfully tried to ignore, just so I wouldn't have to feel the pain that was starting to sting in my heart.

"Why don't you sit down?" I myself demonstratively took a seat before she reflected on my behavior and we both sat indecisively across from each other before my placed order already arrived.

"I hope you're okay with me ordering for you too." No words reached me, she only managed a nod. Uncertainly, I fumbled with my fingers under the table, trying to bring my state of mind down, though it seemed impossible.

"I'm really glad you agreed Seulgi. I... missed you." A shaky sigh escaped my lips. I didn't know how to handle this situation. It felt as if a stranger was sitting in front of me, with those dark eyes looking so familiar. Despite the small table between us, the distance felt much greater.

"Joohyun," there was a pause between the next words, "it's not that I don't miss you. But you have to trust me when I say it's for the best. You need to be done with this, after this meeting here. Maybe this is hard for you, but you have to accept it. Maybe we were the right people, but it was the wrong time. I- Joohyun, I can't explain it to you, but to rebuild this friendship would be bad. It wouldn't work, I know that. And it hurts me, too, to have to let those golden years all go, but please understand that it could never be any other way."

I didn't expect this flow of words from Seulgi, when before it seemed that she was forced to speak, mindful of brevity. But even more shocking were the words themselves, which squeezed my heart and slowly dripped out the lifeblood. My eyes felt watery, probably already covered in a layer of tears, and the next words could certainly break the dam, but I had to know what was the reason for such a terrible turn of events.

Because I knew that she seemed to be in the knowledge about something that remained hidden from me. That she was therefore able to draw these conclusions.

And I had to know.