Can you love me again?

hope (?)

The waiting room's plastic chairs were uncomfortable and felt rough against his jeans, he moved frenetically, a little bit to the left, to the right, leant back, leant forth: he just couldn't bring himself to calm down.

The friction generated by his movements was getting on his nerves so he stood up and started to walk up and down the hospital's corridor, trying hard to hold the tears back, 'it's my fault' he kept thinking 'why did he throw himself on the road? Why did he take my place!? That idiot'.

The door was still closed, some muffled voices could be heard but nothing clear, how long was it going to take? Was Usagi out of danger? Did he wake up? So many questions and not a single answer.

A doctor had come up to him before and told him that they would call their family and relatives since he wasn't in the right state of mind to do that at that moment... or was it a police officer? his thoughts were so confused that he didn't really remember, the only thing he could think about was Akihiko.

The boy ruffled his hair and closed his eyes, if anything were to happen to him... his last memory would be- 'no' he forcibly stopped his train of thought 'don't even think that, you have to believe in him, you have to-'.

Out of the blue the door opened up and a man with blonde slicked back hair and glasses came out, he wore a white medical gown and was holding a blue folder, also another doctor and a nurse came along, they seemed rather calm but that could mean both everything and nothing.

Misaki got close to the blonde man "E-excuse me, doctor?" he asked politely, the man turned and looked at him, he had bags under his eyes but his expression was very gentle "Yes, how may I help you?" he asked, "I was... I was wondering how Usami Akihiko was" Misaki answered.

The doctor studied him for a couple of seconds before speaking again "are you a relative?", "n-no I'm his... pupil, he is my tutor..." he said after a bit of thought "...c-can I see him?", the doctor nodded in acknowledgement and opened the folder he had in hand.

"I understand, well usually relatives and partners have priority but no one else came yet and, as I can see from the police report, I suppose you are the 'brunette, green-eyed male in his 20's' that was present at the scene" the doctor stated.

He closed the folder and continued "he's stable now although he's unconscious, he has undergone a concussion due to the heavy blow: he beat his head hard on the asphalt", Misaki's green eyes widened as the doctor spoke, they were full of fear and worry, a million thoughts started to wander in his head... 'what if he were to stay like ths permanently... what if he...?'

He lightly shook his head, shaking those horrible thoughts away, he needed to believe in Usagi. He took a shaky breath before asking another question "w-when will he wake up?", the man took off his glasses and heaved a little sigh "we don't know I'm afraid... it depends on him, it could be today, tomorrow, a week and so on..."

He moved his eyes to the floor and he stared at it for so long that black dots started floating around it; so basically... it was all up to him? what did that even mean? how could he choose to wake up? the boy had no idea on how to take that information in... was it good? was it bad? how long would it take for him to wake up? and-

The doctor placed a hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of that trance, he looked at the blond man and on his face there was a reassuring smile "you can go in, son", his face suddenly lit up and regained some colour, the slightest hint of a smile appearing as well.

''thank you so much doctor'' he said while respectfully bowing, whe their eyes met again he spoke newly "it's Misaki, right?", he nodded "y-yes sir, Takahashi Misaki", "perfect, I am doctor Takeda, I'll be outside if you need me", "thank you so much" he repeated, the man moved his hand almost humbly ''no need, son, it's my job to help people'' and with that he strolled down the corridor.

Misaki shifted his eyes on the closed door and, with shaky hands, reached the door's handle, it felt extremely cold to the touch and sent him even more shivers down his spine than he already had?; he let out a deep breath before finally openin the door.

The room looked kind of cosy, for being a hospital room: the walls were of a soft shade of blue and the furniture's tone of brown and grey surprisingly didn't clash with it; there was a big window on the right side of the bed and the latter per se was simple, with white sheets and an azure blanquet at the end... and laying on it was Usami Akihiko.

Misaki almost took a step back when he saw him like that, he felt as if a dagger had just pierced his heart and someone had placed an iced cube on the open wound; the boy carefully approached him, as if scared to wake him up.

He grabbed a plastic chair from below the window and placed it at Usagi san's side, after he sat down he inspected him carefully... he had bandages around his head and on various parts of his body, there were even some bruises visible.

''h-hey... you old man'' Misaki said with a little smile, his voice was wavery and one could clearly hear that he was holding back the tears, ''how are y-you?...'' it was probably stupid to ask that question to someone that was unconcious but for some reason, he felt the need to.

The brunette waited for a response then lowered his head and placed his hands on his knees almost shamefully 'he's not gonna answer you, idiot' he thought between himself, after a few moments of silence he spoke again ''man... you always get yourself into trouble d-don't you?'' his hands clenched around his jeans and his teeth gritted ''why... why did you do it...'' a sob escaped his lips ''...I went too far... It's my fault... I walked across without looking... and this happenned... because of me you got hurt''

More sobs escaped his lips, until he burst into tears ''I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Usagi-san... forgive me'' he gently grasped his hand and held it close to his chest.

He stayed in silence for quite some time, never letting go of his hand: the warmth that the man gave off made him feel protected and comforted, and he truly needed that in that moment, God knows how much he wanted to be held by that man, to have his hand ruffle his hair, to have his arms around his skinny body.

The more the time passed, the more the silence became overwhelming, Misaki would have given anything to hear him once more, anything at all, even a murmur was enough, just a sign... a sign that he was still there.

''I'll go fetch a bottle of water, okay?'' Misaki said, gently squeezing Usagi's hand before letting it go, when his hand grabbed the door's handle his eyes couldn't help but look behind, no matter how much he studied and stared at him, it just seemed... completely unreal... a single tear ran down his face, the feeling of guilt completely crushing him.

After roughly ten minutes he came back with a bottle of water in his hand, ''man this hospital is huge, I just couldn't find the vending machines" he said to the man while sitting on the chair beside him "Couldn't they put like... signals or something...".

His green eyes fixed on his face, then on the rising and downing of his chest, the movement seemed stable. He carefully placed his head against his arm, layed on the bed, while his lower body was still on the chair.

Without realising it, he fell asleep.

He was awakened by a light murmur "Ta...", the boy shot his head up and looked at the unconscious Akihiko "d-did you say something Usagi-san?" he asked, but no answer came from him whatsoever.

'I really thought I had heard him... ugh, is my mind playing tricks on me...? it must be cause I'm tired' he realized begrudgingly, it would be too good to be true.

After a couple of minutes he clearly saw the man's lips twitch, Misaki shot up from his chair, still holding his hand, "Usagi-san!" he said with a high voice, he couldn't contain the excitement "I'm here, I'm right here"

Although he was trying to muster some words his eyes were still shut, then they began to move from under his eyelids and he finally talked, or better, he pronounced someone's name "...T-Ta... Takahiro"

The physical pain the young boy felt in that moment couldn't be described with words, hearing the man he loved pronounce his brother's name in that kind of situation... it felt like his heart took a dive off a building.

His eyes widened and he stared at him for a couple of seconds with his lips lightly agape, he then exited the room in a rush and looked for someone, anyone "D-Doctor! He... he's starting to wake up"