I'm so ashamed to say that I haven't left my room in almost two weeks. Seeing him fucked me up differently.
The boys have been amazing and so supportive. They haven't been pestering me or bombarding me with questions. Leo and Pero have been looking after the Mafia since I've been in my depressive episode.
But tonight will be different, the past 2 weeks I've been finding the location of Marcos houses house and I managed to hack into the cameras and Silvio or should I say Thiago is there. So tonight I will be breaking in and I don't care if I get killed.
Im doing it for him because I love him and I will never give up on him. NEVER.
Showering then changing into a one shoulder strap pantsuit and my black heeled boots.
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After changing I enter my now office to the bookcase at the back of the office. I type in the code and watch the bookcase move to reveal my weapon stash. I take out my knifes and the strap and strap it to my thigh. Then grab 2 glocks and a gun strap, after placing it on I grab a smoke grande.
Sneaking to the garage and making sure no one sees me I grab the keys to my car, and unlock it before getting in and turning the heating on and connecting my phone to the Bluetooth and click play on my playlist.
On my way to the Spanish mafias mains house where I know they all stay, I go over the plan again in my head to make sure I get it all correct and not fuck it up.
The drive is about an hour so I had enough time to go over the plan that wasn't very well put together, I don't know why I thought this was a good idea but I just need to see him.
I miss him soo much, and the fact that he is alive and doesn't remember me hurts the most. The memories of us doesn't exist to him. But I will make him remember them even if it kills me, as long as he remembers I don't care.
Driving into the neighbourhood I make sure to park my car a good distance away so they don't notice anything suspicious and trigger the lockdown alarm that I know they have.
