Banana Phone! [READ DESCRIPTION.]

Chapter One, Gift Shop?

"Live, in front of a studio audience, it's Shovelware's Brain Game!"

Ugh.

Those words were mandatory for an avid viewer of the show. It was annoying.

The lights flash, the contestants hop on stage, and the announcer proudly welcomes the host into the show. The audience cheers as per usual, except one.

A frowning pear sat next to the door, in his usual seat. Though it was strange to call him "usual", considering his everlasting hate for the show, but he visits nonetheless. He glares onward, listening as the announcer introduces the charismatic banana host.

He felt that visiting this stupid show was pointless - and he had made that point many times over - but he couldn't help himself. Something just pulled him back.

Maybe it was to gather information on this godforsaken show. Maybe he just wanted to see that banana slip and fall on his ass again. Not that he WANTED to see him anyway, he just wants to see him fuck up or something.

Whatever the reason, he was here now. And he hated every second of it.

"Hello to all of you watching at home on SWTV! That's right, nobody wanted to buy the airing rights to this production with a twenty-foot pole, so we made our own TV network!" The banana happily announced, proudly wearing his goofy grin for the crowd.

The game had started, and Pear had felt himself getting more and more ticked with each outdated joke being thrown for cheap appeal. To his disdain, however, the audience doesn't seem to mind - they're even laughing.

"YOU CAN'T SAY THAT ON TV!!" The host screeches, getting a roaring laugh from both the crowd and the contestants. What? That was just him yelling for no reason, how was that even funny? He felt as if he had some sort of responsibility to take for this tomfoolery of a show, so he stood up.

"..Rubbish! Rubbish, I say!" He stood abruptly, interrupting the host, who seems to have paid no mind to his interjection.

This angered him more, so he tried to think of something insulting to catch the banana's attention. "My professional, critical opinion, is that this quiz show...

STINKS." He could hear the crowd around him gasp in disbelief. He grinned smugly, standing upright, "And I am taking my leave of it. Good day."

"Ok! There's a gift shop on your right just past the exit!" The banana smiles, though it was his normal expression, he seemed to smile just a little bit brighter this time.

The pear glared, hopping off the bench as he marched to the exit. He didn't even bat an eye! He had just insulted his show! Can't he show some-

Wait, a gift shop? Really? That's all he had to say?

"Gift shop?!" He exclaimed, whipping his head back at the banana in sarcastic excitement. "Oh, I just LOVE gift shops! I simply can't get enough of rampant consumerism! Ooh, I can't wait!"
Pear rolls his eyes as he scampered out of the studio.

He makes his way around the corner, where, believe it or not, there was a gift shop. Several ads for the show littered the room, along with dozens of figurines and plush toys, mostly depicting the titular host.

"..." He begrudgingly looked at the merchandise. Some articles of clothing here, some pamphlets over there, but nothing really managed to catch his attention, though he did pick up a hat and a balloon on the way to the next aisle.

But then.