About a sociopath.

Confusion.

I woke up and everything around me was like hell.

I didn't really know why they treated me that way, but I know now.

I didn't find anyone beside me, I never felt so lonely like this; I was just a poor girl who clutched into a crazy guy and loved him in a non-sensible way., it's just because it's my fucking first love.. you know..

'Till now I know that a part of me cannot recuperate from him; simply he lightened my life and darkened it at the same time. He gave me adventure, the life that I always wanted. I'm still clutching into this hope that I'll open my eyes and see him sleeping next to me.

I know that I have to get over him, but I can't, I'll never can.

Reaching out for the stupid phone in the nightstand, the IR hurt my eyes as usual, we had passed the day 10.7, That damn day was gone. We would never celebrate it. Fuck.

Was I really insane? Bonnie's words were still haunting me in my headached-head. I knew I had to prove that they were all wrong. And Tyler existed, Yea he's -now exists in my poor heart. But I had to prove it to the real world.
I took an outfit from my closet, not caring what it was.
I put my clothes off, washed my face that I was about to forget its features, brushed my teeth, put on my clothes and walked inside this dull apartment. I really hated it. And I still.
There was no one but me.

I hadn't lost my mind completely.

I brought my laptop, mobile phone and prepared a cuppuccinno. Thinking about how to make a good use of this technology to prove I was right.

However, my thoughts were still disturbed and hesitated.
But my mind came up with the idea of calling Tyler; to record our call.
Yeah, I was going to record this call so my friends believe that I was still sane. And to myself.

Ring.

"Perrie what happened yesterday?" Tyler asked through the phone, concerned.
"Don't worry baby, I guess," I replied trying to keep my cool, "Well, anyways come here, I just.. I need you by my side, wanna feel your warmness on my body." I needed a bigger proof, I need to see him in person.

I waited but there was no answer, But I also meant it; Yes, I needed him, and I will always need him.
But most importantly, It was to figure out all that terrible matter to the poor psychopathic me.

Knock knock.

My heart skipped a beat, was it possible that it could be him? But he had never knocked the door.
I walked slowly and saw that it was him, I straightened my shoulders and combed my fingers through my hair to make myself look presentable, non-worried and comfortable around him, the way it used to be.
I opened the door and smiled at him.
He was still gorgeous, perfect even.
"C'mon get in, " I said afraid that my voice will betray me and crack at the sight of him. I'm not even good at lying..

"Hey gorgeous," he winked at me. Oh.
"Tay.. thank God you come." I pulled him into a hug, missing his scent, he hugged me back and hid his face in my wavy hair.

Focus Perrie!

"And why wouldn't I?" I ignored his question and pulled back from the hug, then I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him passionately on his lips, I needed it but that was also to feel him, to feel that everything was normal.
I was so lost in the kiss that I'd forgotten what he had done.
We exchanged kissings and feelings but I was putting a camera so that I could prove that he was really there and that I wasn't that insane.
"What's the matter with you Perrie? You're miraculous today," He looked at me playfully.

Yes, I know that I was kissing him fiercely, we've never kissed this way before; it's like we're putting our love and hate in the kiss!
but God, I'd really missed him.

"Sorry bae but I really missed you." I said truthfully, "You're treating me like i'll fade away the next moment." He raised a brow at me.

So ironic. . .

"No but.. I.. just don't know."
He looked me in the eye. I'm not good at lying, especially to him; he knows me so well.
"You're lying Perr. Is something wrong?" He said in a mocking way, what the hell? Is he trying to get on my nerves?

"No. And shut up." I replied fiercely.
Then I pulled him harshly, and hit him hard in his chest repeatedly with my fists, I scratched my nails in his t-shirt, letting all the anger that I had held for him, but it wasn't fucking enough.
He was in shock. As soon as he recoverd, he took my both fists in his hands

"Perr stop it! What are you doing! What's wrong! It's me, Tyler!" Hearing his voice made me more angry,
"That's why I want to kill you! I love you that's my problem! And you cheated on me! You're playing tricks on me! Don't you dare stop me from killing you!" I said it violently and harshly as I pulled him towards death. I couldn't control myself at that moment.
"My Perr please calm down."He said it in an innocent way, lies LIES!
"Why are you talking that way! Keep your fucking hands away from me!"
He was still holding both of my wrists, "I don't know what you want! But if that will make you happy then do it my little sugar princess," He closed his eyes And freed my wrists from his strong grip, as if I was really about to kill him.
But even my brain, my broken heart didn't stop me from hitting him on the chest with a vase.
He looked at me in the eye while I'm hitting him, I saw his eyes were watery, he was about to cry, Tyler never cries.
Then he fainted.

At that moment I didn't remember much, Cause You Readers will know something else. Later..

I touched his lifeless body, he was alive. Yea I'd have never kill him; kill him! Hell.

I took my card memory out of my mobile, drove his car and went to Bonn's house. And left him alone just like he did many times.

*****

The road was awfully tough. I'd never drove by myself. He always drove me everywhere. Yes! We went everywhere together but he ruined everything and I helped him.

Fuck both of us.

Arriving to Bonnie's house..
It was that apartment that every girls dreams of living in.

Lucky Bonn.

I knocked on the door and waited patiently on the door step.
A few seconds later Ennzou opened the door and greeted me with his warm, friendly smile, "Perrie! Get in sweety." Ennzou said with his lovely voice. And I smiled.

God blesses him.

"I missed you bro. What's up?" I asked,
"I'm really great! I'm really sorry about what had happened but you really needed some physical rest."

"Ugh.. Don't remind me please. But I'm here to prove you're all wrong!" I said cheerfully, I was going to win this time.

"Prove what?" He frowned, I gave him a known wicked-smile, his eyebrows shut up in realization.
"Don't Perr. We all know he died," He said, uncertainly.

Instead of arguing with him, i asked:
"When? And how?"
"Last summer vacation darling. But about how, I think you should know better than me,"

What the fuck? I wouldn't have asked if I knew!

"Really Enzo? Better?"
"Yes better, better than every fucking living creature on the earth!" He shouted at me, Ennzou has never talked to me in that harsh way before!

Oh but Ennzou, what I'm going to show all of you Will completely change your sick minds.

"Then, I'm suffering from amnesia! And you should show me your proofs that he's dead. And If you don't I swear to God I'll let you follow him in Hells!" I smirked and pushed past him, dialing everyone that I know his number.

***
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