The morning spread greenish and frigid across the hillside like an infection. The sunrise crawled over the rotting trees, blinding me, and against all common sense, I stumbled to a swaying halt. Five minutes, I bargained with myself. Five minutes to catch my breath.
Running through the woods in the pitch black had been awful, whip-thin branches leaving slits across my frozen cheeks and roots splayed across the forest floor sending me sprawling, but the sickly light had to be even worse. Turning in a dazed circle, I was forced to confront for the first time just how hopeless my situation was. Really, where had I expected my frenzied sprint through the forest to lead? Some kind of fairyland? Whatever vague, childish assumption I'd been running on withered like old lettuce under the gaze of the truth, and I had no choice but to face the facts— I had landed myself in a swampy wood. Miles away from Pill, sure, but also miles away from any form of civilization.
I had never been more doomed.
The fear of Pill, constant, undying, had carried me through the night better than adrenaline ever could. Now, though, alone, forsaken, it was beginning to peter out from under me. No, no no no no. Now was not the time to forgive him yet again. Nonetheless, a strange, keening ache began to flare to life low in my chest— a helplessness that gaped wider with every passing minute. That innate human fear of isolation, I guessed, deep-set enough that I'd never had to think about it before now.
Training my eyes on the dull fog in the distance, I measured my breaths. Panic was counterproductive. Pill had taught me that. Stop thinking about him. No, I had learned that within his walls. Pill had never taught me anything. Not on purpose.
~ [] ~
(this is the part where ill clinically analyze whatever the freak was going thru my head when i wrote this) except for this time around i have literally No memory of this vomiting out of my brain and onto a page. WHAT IS THISSKSS GIRL WHAT DOES HTIS MEAn IM BEGGING YOU WHY IS HIS NAME PILL
YOU ARE READING
my silly words
Randomcome get em hot and fresh from the god forsaken depths of my notes app !! free for a limited time only !!!! this is me justifying to myself that i've never finished a literary work in all my years of living
