The Reunion

Chapter 7

"I-." Cherie was stunned. Had the night been some elaborate plan for Skylar to finally confess her feelings for her? Cherie was sure there were simpler ways to say you loved someone that didn't require dragging her through the drama of her marriage for it to happen. "I didn't know. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I could ask you the same question." And for the very first time, Cherie was able to see how Skylar was feeling without her saying it. "I'm sorry that I brought up all those feelings with your ex-wife. I honestly didn't mean to and I'm sorry this night ended this way."

***

Cherie didn't like the silence that followed or the shift in Skylar's mood that was heavy. Should she just ask what was wrong, was it because of something she said and would Skylar even tell her the truth?

There she was, wanting the truth to be told to her and she couldn't even do so herself. Why couldn't she just tell Skylar that she had and had a crush on her? Skylar was accepting of her sexuality, maybe she'd be accepting of a crush but what if she wasn't? What if it made things awkward? It was better to keep it a secret to her heart safe.

That very same heart of hers picked up its pace when Skylar readjusted and her hand brushed against Cherie's. Cherie didn't pull her hand away and neither did Skylar, whose fingers began to play against Cherie's hand, interlocking their fingers.

"Cherie?"

"Hmm."

"Can I kiss you and it not mean anything?"

The question made her heart stop for a millisecond and her breath catch in her throat. "Why?"

"I just want to know how it feels."

"Okay."

Cherie felt the bed sink as Skylar propped herself up on her elbow and Cherie followed suit. "Are you sure this is okay?"

"Yeah."

Their lips met in the middle, both remembering Mark Twain's quote to 'kiss slowly' and they did. It wasn't until Skylar's hand reached up Cherie's shirt that she pulled away. She wasn't quite ready to go that far considering she just had her first kiss a few seconds before.

"I think we should stop." If it meant noting, Cherie knew that going any further would only hurt her more.

"I'm sorry." Skylar's apology came out panicked. "I got carried away. I went too far, right?"

Cherie didn't know how to respond because a part of her wanted to feel Skylar's hands all over her but the other part of her warned her that it was too risky.

"Can we just go to sleep?"

"Cherie, I'm really sorry."

"It's fine."

Cherie turned away from her and squeezed her eyes shut. She was trying to wish away the night, wish away her feelings, wish away the feeling swarming around low in her stomach.

"Cherie, are we okay?"

"We're okay."

***

They headed back to the room in silence and Cherie used that time to reevaluate the situation, assess the past and come up with a solution. By the time they arrived at the room, she still didn't have one but her memory had clued her in on something important.

"You said it would mean nothing."

"What?"

"The kiss," Cherie clarified, "You said can I kiss you and it mean nothing."

"And you just said okay."

"What else was I supposed to say, Skylar? Should I have said no? Should I have told you how I really felt in the moment? Truth is, I was scared, I was excited, I was panicked and I didn't know what to do but to let it happen because I was afraid that if I spoke, if I told you what I was feeling, it would never happen and kissing you was something I always dreamed of."

"Imagine how many kisses we could have shared if you had."

Cherie couldn't allow the thought to consume her. It was another fantasy, she told herself, a fantasy that Skylar was projecting on her.

"I don't want to do this. I don't want to go over 'what ifs' with you. It doesn't help and it's not going to fix the past and what happened." Instead of feeling regretful, she was irritated. "I think I should just leave."

"That's not what I want, Cherie."

"What do you want, Skylar? I've been following your lead all night so why not continue?"

"Don't do that. Don't act like you didn't want to be here."

"I did and I do but now you're putting the entire blame on me and I will not be bullied by you." It felt good to stand up for herself but never did she thought she would have to against Skylar. "Sure, I played my part but you did too, so, take some responsibility for your own fucking mistake."

Cherie felt herself buzzing with anger and she walked away before she unloaded all of her anger on Skylar. She put space between them by moving into the bathroom to change back into her clothes. She was going to leave and resign with the idea that it all happened for a reason, whatever that reason was.

When she opened up the bathroom door, there stood Skylar waiting for her. "You're right," she began, "I'm also to blame for what happened or didn't happen between us but I was afraid. I never expected to fall for you like I did and I thought maybe it was just how friends felt for each other but then I realized it was so much more than a love for a friend. I wanted to kiss you all the time and be with you, lay with you, touch you and other things." Cherie's body reacted to her words but she remained strong. "I thought I was just confused and I figured that because you were interested in girls, you would know what to do, you would make a move and I would follow your lead. I needed to follow your lead but I didn't know what to do and I was too scared to ask because I didn't know how you would respond. I didn't know if you would take me seriously or just think of me as the straight girl trying to experiment with you." She took a breath and Cherie waited. She was in no rush to speak because she had no idea how to respond yet. "That kiss was supposed to be my way in. It was supposed to be our beginning. I had this whole thing imagined in my head that we'd enjoy the summer together, you'd go off to college and have halfhearted relationships with girls, while I'd go and experiment and be sure for you, sure of my feelings for when we found our way back to each other. So, maybe you're not the only one with fantasies because I had and have many of us."

***

They were not okay. Their friendship was in an awkward place and perhaps it all had to do with her but there was a change in Skylar too. Their conversations lacked the usual ease and she struggled to reconnect with Skylar.

"So, this is it?"

Skylar was heading to college much earlier than she initially planned, and Cherie wondered if it was because of her. Her thoughts were self-centered of course but she didn't have much to go on. Everything changed after the kiss and she had no idea why.

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

"Please, let's keep in touch. Calls every weekend? I can come visit you too or you can come visit me. I'm getting an apartment. I'm finally embracing the whole 'spoiled brat' thing."

"Sounds good." She wanted to give Skylar a kiss goodbye but her parents were there, watching so she settled with a prolonged hug. "Goodbye, Cherie."