Balloon (II2)

49 2 0

by ToastyCS

by ToastyCS

A/N: This is definitely not an apology for forgetting about the nickloon fanfic. (its angst tho so its definitely not an apology 💀)

Btw this is somewhere after balloon and nickle got eliminated wooooo
----------------------------------------------

...

Balloon woke up groggily as he opened his eyes. He looked around and saw what time it was. It was 2:18 am. It was too early. He wanted to move but can't. Is this a sleep paralyses? He doesn't know. After some failed attempts to move, he finally gave up. He was tired. Tired of probably everything and everyone. But, not everyone... He has suitcase. Yeah. He has suitcase.
...
Only suitcase. Nobody else.
...
Did... Did suitcase only became his friend because she pitied him? He doesn't know. He doesn't want to know.
...
I hate myself. I hate myself. Why can't i just think of something positive for one second..? Why can't i be liked. Why can't... Why can't i move on? What is wrong with me...? Why am i like this...?
...
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I can't find the answers. I can't find it alone. Neither that i want to find it with someone. I don't... I don't need anyone else. I... I'll suck it up. Bottle it up. Avoid everyone. I'm just a waste of space.
...
Tears started to form from balloon's eyes. He started to sobs quietly as he covered his mouth. Trying to silence his sobs. He didn't want anyone to hear him. He didn't want anyone to hear his pathetic sobs.
...
He's useless. Pathetic. Someone who can't even stand for himselves. An absolute coward.
...
Balloon sat up from his bed. He wiped the tears on his face as he started walking towards to the door of his room. He grabbed the doorknob. He paused for a moment.
...
What will i do when i get out? What do i do? Well, i'm sure everyone is alseep right now.. I'm sure they won't mind.
...
They won't care about me anyways.

Balloon opened the door and exited the room.
...
He's now outside Hotel OJ. He looked up at the sky. It was still dark. Dark and cold. Like the hotel room. He liked dark and cold. Just not that much. Sometimes, he'd miss the sunshine. The bright star that almost lit the whole world. But it still wasn't bright enough.
...
He layed down on the cold grass, not caring if he gets his clothes dirty. He felt comfortable laying in the grass. It felt like he was in the earth's embrace. A hug waiting for those lonely people like him. Maybe for all beings in the world. Who knows. He felt comfortable. He was glad. He was happy. He didn't care if the earth sinks him into the ground. He'd long for that. Even if it means he can't move, breath, or see. It just means nobody can bother him anymore, and he can't bother anyone, too. Seems like a win-win.
...
Balloon realized he went into too much thought just now. Now that he thinks about it... It does seem nice. Sinking into earth. No one to bother him. It's nice. A nice, nice thought.
...
Balloon's eyes were getting tired. He was getting tired. I just want to sleep now. I want to sleep forever. Eternal rest. Isn't that nice? Isn't it nice to just sleep forever? That's nice, too. Very nice.
...
Very. Nice...
...
----------------------------------------------

HOLY SHFUCK. BRO I GOT POSSESED WHEN DUET BY OMORI STARTED edit: "PLAYING" not writing help 😿 also this is kinda like some vent about passive suicide ideation(i used to have that but im vv okay now bc of a friend‼️) i hope you guys enjoyed‼️

611 words‼️‼️‼️