John Murphy One Shots

Hope

Usually I keep ALL of my fandom related writings to myself, but I figured this one was pretty chill and basic; so why not share it?

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Murphy and I ran to where our people were escaping, but I knew we weren't going to make it. Murphy didn't know, didn't know the plan everyone had spewed up against him. I knew because I was there, and I didn't speak a word as they planned to leave him behind. I couldn't let that happen. Murphy did awful things and wasn't my favorite person in the world, but I refuse to lose my humanity. I'm not going to leave one of my own behind, alone and stranded only to die before the night's out. I'm better than that.

So, whilst everyone was gathering up supplies to take on their boats, I easily slipped out of camp and ran after Murphy. I knew I didn't have much time, and this chance was as good as any, but I should have known we would have never made it. I didn't want to face the fact that they'd leave without one of their own, plus one since they hadn't realized I left them.

Murphy had been banished from our camp, but I secretly helped him out and showed him the bunker Finn and I found when we first got here. He stayed there the entire time, and I had to be careful about visiting him due to rising suspicions throughout the camp. Only those close to me knew where I was going: Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia, Raven, Jasper, and Monty. None of them liked Murphy, but they respected me and the fact that I wouldn't just let him roam these woods alone. If anything, me protecting Murphy made them adore me more than they already do, because they know that I appreciate all life, good or bad.

We climbed up the hill that stood just outside the camp, and once we reached the top, my heart broke in two. Everyone was gone and nothing but dead bodies roamed what was once our home. They were overrun. These walkers have ruined my life, and now are the reason Murphy and I are all alone.

I felt tears prick at my eyes, and I didn't feel like standing anymore. My limbs felt weak and so I dropped to my knees, letting out a small cry. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I placed my face in my hands, allowing myself to completely break down. It's been too long since I've released my emotions. For the longest time I've been keeping everything bottled up, for my people, for the ones who left me. I did it for them so that they'd think I was strong, and would still have reason to follow in my command. But now that my people have left me, I don't have to be strong for anybody. I can cry and scream at the sky and slowly begin to hate everything. For so long I've been the light spirit among my people, and was always making everyone smile or laugh or feel good. All this time I've been nothing but happiness and joy, and I hate it. People walk all over me and now I've been left behind with a criminal because of it.

"Y/N, we have to go," Murphy rushed, and I glanced up to see walkers roaming dangerously close to us.

I wiped away my tears, slowly rising to my feet and pulling out my sword. Murphy called my name again but I ignored him, charging after the closest walker and shoving my sword through it's head. I pressed my boot to it's body and pushed it back, pulling my sword out and swinging it to my left where another walker was approaching me.

On my right, a walker grabbed my arm and I let out a frustrated scream, tossing my sword to my other hand and decapitating the walker. The rest were yards away from me, so I used the small amount of time I had to let out all of my anger, raising my sword above my head and striking it down on the dead walkers body. With each hit I let out a scream, feeling more tears build up in my eyes. Blood splattered on my face and neck but I didn't care. I practically tore the walker apart, and when I rose my sword once again, I felt a hand latch onto my arm and stop my movements.

I could see Murphy looking at me from the corner of my eye, a concerned look on his face. He gently wrapped his fingers around my sword and took it out of my grasp, slipping it into an empty pouch hooked onto his belt. My breathing was erratic as I stared down at the hatched up walker, a single tear falling down my cheek.

"We have to go," he said more calmly this time, and I obliged, turning my back to my camp just like my people did to me, and starting off into the woods.

..

Murphy ended up leading us back to the bunker, because where else were we supposed to go? Once we got there, night time was approaching and I was exhausted. I nonchalantly lied down in his bed and he sat opposite of me, his back against the wall and his curious eyes on me. I didn't blame him for looking at me differently now. But I decided to stop thinking and put my mind to rest.

When I woke up, I couldn't tell if it was only minutes or hours later, but I assumed hours since I felt well rested. I let out a small sigh, rubbing my eyes and sitting up. I looked over at Murphy and wasn't surprised to see his eyes still on me, a blank expression on his face. Did he even sleep?

"You knew," he spoke up, and the instant he said that I felt my heart swell in my chest. Of course I knew, I was part of the camp, I was their leader, they trusted me.

I looked at the ground, not being able to look him in the eyes before giving him a small nod.

"Thank you, for trying.." he trailed off.

I peered up at him, surprised that out of all the things he could have said to me, it was that. I knew my people were wrong about him. I saw the monster in him that everyone else did, but it was just that, inside of him. He wasn't the monster, he isn't a monster, he's a human being. All of us were good in one way or another, even Murphy. He took the lives of others and he's been a complete and utter asshole to people who had done nothing wrong to him, but he's done good things too. He stayed away from the camp when told to, he appreciated my small acts of kindness when I occasionally checked up on him, and now when I tried to save the both of us. Murphy is a working progress, but at least he's working; he's not broken, not yet.

"I'm sorry about earlier," I muttered, suggesting to my breakdown. Now that I thought about it, I was embarrassed and ashamed. I never stooped down to that level, and if I did it definitely wasn't in front of anybody. Me doing that probably only brought Murphy down, and I never liked being the reason someone wasn't anything but happy. I have to make people more than sadness and despair, it's my job.

He chewed on the inside of his cheek, "how long have you been holding that inside?"

I sighed, "a long time."

He placed his hands in his lap and started to pick at his nails, his eyebrows drawn together in thought, "you're a good person, you know."

I flashed him a sad smile, "I'm not even sure of that anymore." My people probably think of me as a traitor now, especially for helping Murphy. They're smart people, so I doubt it's taken them long to realize I'm gone purely because I went back for Murphy. When they think of him, they think of a psychopathic traitor, and I've been helping him. I've been helping a person who murdered two of our people and treated the rest like scum, because of my stupid belief in humanity still existing. Maybe it doesn't. I've always wanted to be the good guy, and I thought I was doing the right thing, but maybe there's no good guys left. What if we're all just bad?

"I wouldn't have came back for me," he admitted, his eyes trained on his hands. I didn't expect him to look at me whilst saying any of this. I knew this was hard for him, and I'm proud of him for even expressing the slightest of emotion.

"Yes, you would have."

He looked up at me, scanning my face as if to see if I was speaking seriously. Once he realized I was, something flashed behind his eyes; a feeling I didn't even know he was familiar with: hope.

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