It's only after the stress and strain from long, drawn days that it settles in. It's subconscious, something unknown until it happens. If it were something that could be done at a moment's notice, I would take advantage of it more. If I did, though, I'm afraid it wouldn't mean as much when it occurs.
My body, my soul, the aches, and the worry culminate. Laying in the darkness, I can feel every inch of myself needing to escape to some place far away from here.
Take me away. Don't leave me like this.
Across the skies and through the stars, a distant place that is real, though it has never been, I can feel this surreal world emerge. Every step brings me closer to somewhere new. However, what I could really use the most is someplace familiar, somewhere to ground my senses and memories, to rest a awhile.
It doesn't take long before I walk to a restaurant in the night, amidst an unknown city, a large window displaying tables and low light, singles and couples talking during their wonderful evening.
Entering, I know its what I must do, to find what I'm looking for in this unfamiliar, yet desired, sanctuary.
There's a table in the middle of it all, surrounded by a full house where no one eats or drinks – just talks. Time doesn't pass. There isn't any rush, but I can feel my presence becoming limited. I don't remember trying to breathe, but I'm sure I stopped when she stood.
"Hi," is all she says, rising from the table in a black dress. Her voice is low and friendly, a sound that should have shouted her excitement, but she contains it well. She's just as beautiful as she has always been – smooth skin and round cheeks; soft, brunette hair past her shoulders; a white smile under green eyes.
Without thinking, I slip my arms around her. She does the same. There aren't any words. No sounds. With my face in her hair, I can feel her smiling, the tight squeeze of her arms bringing all of her back – just the way I remember her.
"Lisa," I reply, eventually releasing my hold. Taking her hands, her fingers curling in mine, Lisa's smiling face never ceases to provide the comfort I have carried with me – even after all these years.
"I'm so glad you're here," she begins, her happiness bubbling to the surface. "You haven't come to see me in so long. I began to worry."
"No. Don't ever do that." My fingers slide down her hair, around her ear. "I'll always come back to you."
Lisa keeps a tight grip on my hands, looking around. "Do you know where we are?"
I try to see what she does in the hopes that a memory returns. Shaking my head, I don't like the idea that I have brought us to an unfamiliar place. "No. I'm sorry, I don't."
"It's somewhere we would have gone though, right? This seems very much like you."
My time is limited.
Leaning forward, soft lips touch her cheek. Another. Wrapping her arms around my neck like she does, she allows me to pull her waist close to me. I can feel her leaving, but we're standing right here, right now. "Don't go, Lisa."
"I won't." She holds onto me, a gentle sway. Lisa hums something unfamiliar, her eyes closed as our foreheads touch. I wish I knew Lisa's song. "This was our song. Do you remember?"
"No."
Looking to her, I lean in for a kiss – a familiar warmth that usually brought me such happiness. This time, though, it doesn't bring me the serenity I believed it would.
Once upon a time, there were two young people who were madly in love. They were young and dumb, sweet and loving. The world was theirs – then they threw it all away. There's no going back. The end.
We hold on, gently swaying side to side, hoping our moment will endure. With eyes closed, Lisa takes me in, her fingers stretched as they gently rub my back. Her head rests against my shoulder, a tiny smirk on her lips, her words hardly a whisper:
"Run into the night,
don't shy, my love,
come away with me,
find me in the stars."
Years ago, we danced across the night. Obsessed and compelled, we both knew that loving one another was inevitable. Happiness and light, wonder and grace, everything they told us about love was true when we were together. Lisa was beautiful, wonderful, and radiant. There was no part of the night we did not own. Not a single memory was wasted when we were together in the darkest evenings. I was possessive. Lisa was giving. It's disturbing to think that, I once thought I would find or feel it all again.
Lisa and I speak as though we're afraid to disturb anyone, but no one else exists. The tables are empty, the chairs are vacant, the world only possesses two people standing in an elegant restaurant, somewhere in the night, a place that no one knows exists.
"You don't have to say it," she informs me, her voice calm. "I still love you, too."
"Come back to me, Lisi. Save me from all this."
"Shhh," she slips out, remaining close. "Breathe."
Once upon a time, there were two young people who were madly in love. They were young and dumb, and he let her go for the sake of his own ambitions. She stayed for her family, though there was nothing there for her. He tossed it away, she didn't fight for him, they had no clue what they were doing. Lisa left when things went from bad to worse, her situation not any better than if she would have gone with him in the first place. He left her there so she could do what she said she must, thinking that a couple of years was an eternity to ask him to wait. He was wrong.
She only remains here, in my memory, in this place no one knows, only returning to her when I'm at my worst.
Dawn comes.
Lisa leaves, but unfortunately, she'll return.
