She Said, You Can Ruin Me

The Night It All Began

"I told you it'd work, right?" Moonbyul said with a very pleased smile.

Exy smiled as brightly, she walked down from the stage with a tiny jump in her steps, "Oh I don't doubt you unnie." She replied, "As expected from our reigning champion!" She made a cute heart shape with her fingers.

"Ah, no, no, it was both of our contributions that we got the perfect score this time." For someone who won a perfect score in a row, Moonbyul replied humbly.

They finally reached the waiting room and sat down. Exy looked at her in all seriousness, "So then, should we celebrate tonight?"

Moonbyul snorted lightly, "Drinks on me."

They both smile.

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"Ma-shora Ma-shira Ma-shora" sang Moonbyul happily.

"Sul-I deul-o kanda, jjuk jjuk jjuk jjuk" tipsy Exy joined while swaying her shot of soju.

"Eonje kkaji eojaekumul chuje hal geoya"

"Ne eojaereul bwa, dalkol dwet chanha"

"Telgol, telgol, telgol, telgol!"

Exy swallowed the shot with a satisfying "Ah~". The cute little grimacing after the bitter taste followed suit.

Moonbyul cheered and pumped her fists.

At this point neither of them was sober. Right after the filming of Second World ended, they decided to clean up and do a separate shopping before meeting again in Moonbyul's apartment. Both are in the mood for drinking comfortably and devouring their fried chicken without worrying about their public image as celebrities.

The clock was showing midnight.

The food was long gone and their throats were hurting a bit from all the jokes and laughter. People might think they are happy drunk because of the soju. But the high from winning the perfect score for their Energetic performance was still prominent in Moonbyul, she was expecting a successful outcome from her strategy, and the reassurance that she was indeed a great performer was the reason she was so happy.

She only ever told her MAMAMOO members about her deep insecurity as a solo artist. The fear of not being good enough as a singer was eating her alive for the past seven years. Finally, with a survival show like Second World, she's given the opportunity to prove her greatest fear wrong. With her winning streak in the first and second rounds, she felt something she had missed since the day her label decided to debut her; the feeling that she is good enough in this industry.

A tangible, undisputable proof of that.

"Had I known you're this good at holding your alcohol, we would've become drinking buddies since WJSN Black appeared in Studio Moon Night!" Claimed Moonbyul while pouring herself a shot of soju.

"Unnie, you don't know how excited I was that day." Exy commented with a slur in her speech, she picked on her chopstick and stabbed them aggressively towards Moonbyul to emphasize her rant, "No, you don't even know one bit of my feeling–" she hiccupped, "that constantly grows since I gave you that stupid snack in that stupid music show."

Smiling at her attempt at looking angry but ended up accidentally hitting an empty soju bottle with the chopstick, Moonbyul answered, "Enlightened me then, Sojung-ah"

Moonbyul can't believe how big her ego was going to be at the end of today. The winning, and now a confession from a fan.

"At first, I was a genuine fan, sunbaenim. I can't believe just how cool and unapologetically handsome you are. And you own that! As if you know you have a cute little swag and you charm everyone with it. It's so frustrating." Even as Exy slurred, her words were genuine and her eyes stayed locked with her senior.

"And then in this show, you took my hand and chose me. Among everyone else, you picked me. I was trying my best to act like a normal junior who adores MAMAMOO sunbaenim. But you just have to be that straightforward and made my heart flutter."

Moonbyul's grip on her shot of soju tightened, she forgot to take her shot while listening to Exy. Somehow despite her drunken haze, she can feel the air around them change as Exy shared her feelings, "It's unfair that I am the only one stumbling upon my feelings and you act brazenly as if you have done nothing to me."

The first sign of tears appeared in Exy's eyes. She had lost any sense of holding back after six bottles of soju they shared together.

Different from Moonbyul, Exy felt high after their Energetic performance wasn't due to their winning or the fact that she raised to the second position in the survival show. Exy didn't care much about the result, she said as much to her closest WJSN member, Im Dayoung. She was only having fun and doing as much as self-publication she can before her contract with Starship expired.

What truly made her high was how close she became with Moonbyul, thanks to the show.

Exy is rarely a selfless person. She is a little bit self-centered and cares mostly about her appearance, fame and beauty. She likes to look cool and act seductive, because she takes what she likes. She is childish in her own way, in her unique view of the world as something that serves her instead of something she needs to work towards and humbly puts herself out there for other people to decide to take her or not.

That's why she was on an emotional roller coaster when dealing with Moonbyul.

Her egotistical brain can't comprehend that she started catching feelings and she can't act aggressively on it because, for the first time in her life, she might like someone more than the other person likes her. Worst of all, she's completely on Moonbyul's mercy in this.

Like right now, for example.

Seeing that Exy was about to cry, Moonbyul took her shot of soju, slammed the shot glass on the table and stood up.

"Araseoyo, Sojung-ah. I'm sorry for what I have done. Can we hug it out?" She approached the sitting Exy with both arms wide open.

Two drops of tears made their way down Exy's face.

"Please don't cry, I am really sorry. Won't you please forgive your unnie?" Moonbyul embraced Exy while she tried to make her stand and steer her toward the bedroom. Moonbyul decided a crying fit as a sign to call it a night.

"Okay, but you should stop acting so brazen unnie." Exy mumbled while standing up. Inside Moonbyul's embrace, she unthinkingly followed her direction.

"Araseo araseo. You might be tired too after today, let's rest and I promise to do better tomorrow." Moonbyul released Exy from her arms and opened up the comforter for Exy to slide in. She was about to lay the comforter back down and cover Exy, before she got interrupted.

"Technically, now is tomorrow." Replied Exy smartly.

Looking down at Exy, Moonbyul was reminded of putting a baby to sleep. A fussy one.

"Okay, what can I do now?"

Exy slid to the other end of the bed and opened the comforter, "Be my personal body-length pillow." Requested Exy innocently.

The silence that followed was an answer enough. While Moonbyul started to choreograph an excuse, Exy counter-attacked with a pout and teary-eyed looks.

"You said you would do better, unnie." Whispered Exy.

Sighed in surrender, Moonbyul hesitantly slid in. A teary beautiful woman asking for affection is her Achilles heel. An ultimate weakness to her soft heart. Despite her coolness and nonchalant, Moonbyul is a big softy.

In retrospect, she knew too well the risk of reciprocating feelings to female celebrities who is not necessarily gay. At this point, she can feel Exy feelings toward her. Initially, she thought it was just sexual attraction, but tonight Exy spilled her emotion and honestly, it was scaring Moonbyul a little. Moonbyul has made a few mistakes in the past. She got burned more than once and learned to keep her flings at arm's length. Sex is good. Feelings, not so much.

That's why she mumbled back to Exy, "Just this once." She decided right there and then, it would be the last time she invited Exy to drink at her place.

Exy smiled and snuggled closer to Moonbyul. Unabashedly hugged her stomach and put her head in Moonbyul's chest.