The Greatest Fear of the Nightmare King

Chapter 17

I look through the eyes of Kozmotis. The guardians are in my lair, talking to him. Oh, now he's apologizing for the things I've done. How predictable of him, playing the 'honorable' soldier. The kneeling before the guardians is too sickening, so I retreat once more into the back of the mind, to the white dream space.

"You're here again." I glare at the protruding black splotch floating seamlessly through the air.

"We never left, actually. You're the one who was so desperate to see what 'we're' doing in the outside world." The shapeless being replied casually. "It's better to sit back and wait, you know. No use in trying to regain control of us all by yourself. You're not strong enough. If we freed ourselves from this space, taking Koz with us, and you were left here alone to pilot the body, you couldn't manage. You would hardly be able to think without us, much less function. Help us and you can be in power again."

They're bluffing, trying to rile me up. They need me to accept their offer to work together in overthrowing Kozmotis' consciousness and taking back control. Were this happening a year ago, I would have accepted without hesitation, but now is not then. I'm about as close to accepting their offer as Jack's heart is to beating. I saw the memory, I know what happened. That memory fills in so many gaps. It explains every time I've found myself in a place I don't remember going to, or having done things I wasn't conscious of. These fearlings have been taking away my power and using it to do whatever they wanted, not giving me the power to do what I wanted. "You're not strong enough to take control by yourselves, either. I'm certainly not going to help you."

"You're an idiot. Without our power, you are nothing. When we first got here, when Koz's little mind was buried so deep in the sand that he practically wasn't alive, you were just the shell he left behind!" The many indistinguishable voices of the fearlings rose in anger. "You were a vegetable, nothing but fear and emptiness and we were the ones who gave you the power to use that fear! We were the ones who filled that emptiness enough for you to gain consciousness! Be grateful, do as you're told."

I pause for but a moment before giving my reply. "No."

The floating spot of indistinctly shaped blackness reacts to my word like it's being pulled in every direction, as though all of them are trying to make a shape, but they're all thinking of a different form. They're angry, and I like it. The fact that they're angry proves that they're powerless without my assistance. It's weak. "I'm not the shell of some goody two-shoes, neither am I your obedient little pet. You have been in my mind for as long as I have existed, you should be aware that I don't take orders." I add, calmly.

"Prove it."

"What?" I respond immediately, utterly taken by surprise.

"You claim you're not a shell, but what else could you be? Have you not ever wondered why you don't really experience certain emotions such as...gratitude...happiness...remorse...passion..." The black is taking shape, forming itself to look like Jack, but there's no definitive depth or color, it's just a silhouette. It walks toward me. I don't back away, as to avoid appearing weak. I just let it get closer, not flinching as it reaches it's hand over to touch my face. It's cold, as I would expect. "-...fun. Love. Any of this ringing a bell? No? Like I said, empty inside."