Mama Bil | Billie eilish x Nonbinary reader

𝒯𝒽𝓇𝑒𝑒

     Billie woke up earlier than normal and sighed. She lay in bed staring at the ceiling for a bit before getting up and grabbing her phone, stuffing it into her hoodie pocket. She then made her way to the kitchen and poured a bowl of cereal with oat milk. She sat down and began to eat, stopping when her phone dinged. She pulled it from her pocket and saw a text from Zoe.

I'm throwing a party tonight if you wanna come, I wanna properly introduce you to someone

Okay, what time?

Around 8 pm but you can get there later if you want.

I'll be there.

Sweet I'm really hoping you two can be friends.

     Billie finishes her cereal and goes back to her room, taking her notebook to her bed and writing some things down.
     Finneas had texted Zoe and got permission to head over an hour or two early to help Reuben settle in since they had never been to her house before. Zoe had turned her room into a safe spot in case Reuben needed to be alone or needed to regress. The plan was that after the party the friend group would have a sleepover.
     Reuben woke up at around 12 and rubbed the sleep from their eyes. They groaned and looked for their paci, which they had spat out in their sleep. They found it and put it away with their other regression items in a backpack under their bed. They decided to try and knock out some Homework. In a couple of hours, they had finished all of their assignments.
     They decided to try and pick out an outfit before deciding on a baggy Paramore t-shirt and some sweatpants. They then laid out some more alternative-themed accessories and picked a pair of converse to wear. They had two hours till they had to leave for Zoe's, and five hours until the party started.
     Reuben ran a hand through their hair and decided they needed to shower. Unfortunately, they were also dysphoric, which could be dangerous. They snuck into the bathroom and shut the door. They had brought some basketball shorts, boxers, a random shirt, and their binder. They locked the bathroom door and made their way to the shower, getting undressed and closing their eyes, trying not to look at themself.
     They successfully turned on the water and showered quickly. They physically cringed at the feeling of the washcloth on their chest. They hated this part of themself. They made quick work of washing their body before stepping out and drying off. They get dressed in their outfit and blow dry their hair quickly before going to their room.
     Finneas texts that he just pulled up. They didn't realize they had spent so long in the shower. They grab their little space bag. It had their pacifier and sippy, their blanket, and a first aid kit. They put on some Velcro shoes and jog out to Finneas.
     "Finny!" they hug the tall man tightly and nuzzle into his chest. "Hey, it's alright buddy." Reuben fights back happy tears from the hug. "Missed ou finny-" they mumble into his chest. "I missed you too buddy, let's get in the car yeah?" Finneas opens the passenger door and pats the seat. Reuben nods and climbs into the seat, setting their bag between their legs. Finneas buckles them in and ruffles their hair affectionately.
     "Lil stinkabutt," he says playfully. Reuben giggles, "I not stinky papaa-" they protest. Finneas chuckles "awe I know buddy, it's just a nickname," he explains gently. Reuben nods. "I'm gonna shut your door okay?" finneas asks. Reuben nods and makes sure they're out of the way and Finneas shuts the door before going to the driver's side and getting in.
     He buckles himself in before starting the car. After a short drive, they reach Zoe's. Finneas parks in the driveway and unbuckles himself before going to Reuben's side and unbuckles them. Reuben climbs out of the car carefully and follows Finneas to the front door. Finneas knocks three times and waits. Zoe opens the door and greets him before smiling softly at Reuben. "Hey buddy!" they say excitedly. Reuben hides shyly behind the ginger man.
     This was the first time they'd properly regressed around Zoe. "They're shy, just give em a bit," Finneas reassures. Zoe nods and shows the two inside. Drew was playing Mario kart on the TV and eating some chips. Finneas leads Reuben to the couch and sits down, letting the younger person make themself comfortable on his lap. Reuben sticks their thumb in their mouth and suckles on it while watching Drew play. After the round drew is playing she turns to Reuben and offers a second controller.
     Reuben smiles and takes it, joining the game and giggling as they pick bowser. "Papa Finn! He Dino!" they whisper. Finneas smiles gently down at Reuben "Yeah? He's like a Dino and a turtle," he encourages. Reuben nods. Drew lets Reuben beat her at the game. "You're really good at this Reu," she says while looking over at them. They smile and happily stim as they win the race. "I wub its! Dwew do good toos," they say happily.
     The two play the game for about an hour while Finneas and Zoe talk about Billie. Finneas sounded irritated but Reuben knew it wasn't their place to listen in on adults' conversations. "Wanna play a different game?" Drew asks. Reuben nods. "Alright, we've got Minecraft-" Reuben cuts Drew off, "Minecwaf!-". Drew chuckles and pulls up the game, allowing Reuben to create the world. The pair play that game for another hour.
     They're interrupted by Finneas gently patting Reuben's back. "Hey buddy, we've only got an hour before the party, I think it's best if you start to get big okay?" he says gently. Reuben pouts but nods, knowing that Finn knows best. Reuben hands drew the controller, knowing the game would make them want to stay regressed. They go to Zoe and ask if there's a room where they can be alone to get back into a big mindset. She nods and leads them to her room.
     "Just take your time, we'll come to get you when we finish setting up, alright?" they ask Reuben. They nod at her. They sit on Zoe's bed and pull out their phone. Zero texts. Zero calls. They sigh and open up Instagram and like a few posts, knowing the media would help them feel bigger. After a good thirty minutes, Zoe comes back into the room.
     "Hey bud, you big now?" they ask. Reuben nods, "Yeah, I'm big, thanks Zoe." Zoe smiles gently. "Wanna come out so that way you can adjust to each new person?" Zoe asks. Reuben nods their head. Zoe leads them to the kitchen, where Finneas and Drew were laughing and arguing about the proper amount of ice. As people filter in Reuben gets more and more overwhelmed, especially as the lights get turned off and the music gets loud. They somehow managed to lose track of each of their friends and are now trapped in the crowd.
     They feel their breath picking up and know an anxiety attack is coming on. They remember their stuffed bear and go to Zoe's room to find their bag, they look for their stuffed bear but can't find it, causing them to panic more. They run to Zoe's door and into the hallway, panicking as they can feel an impure slip. They need Finneas, they need Zoe or Drew, they need someone fast. They go to the end of the hall in a panic and look in the bathroom. It was empty so they turn around to go back to Zoe's room when they see him. Marcus.
     "What are you doing here, freak?" he asks harshly. Reuben blinks away their tears and attempts to swallow the lump in their throat. "Are you mute now?" he asks. Reuben backs away from Marcus. "What's wrong don't have your little teddy bear or your big scary friends to save you?" he taunts. Reuben backs into the wall as Marcus steps closer. Marcus grabs Reuben and throws them to the floor.
     "Fucking weirdo," he lifts his leg to kick them but stops as his name is called. Reuben is too scared to move and too regressed to think. They curl into a ball and sob. Marcus is pulled off of them in a blur and Reuben can hear him grunt in pain. All they see is a blur of blue punching him. They return to their crying, far too scared to comfort themself. "If you fucking touch them again I'll break your goddamn arm!" The mystery savior yells.
     Marcus huffs and runs away. The mystery person's voice was so familiar. That must mean it's safe. Reuben feels soft hands lift them into their arms and they are overwhelmed with a scent of vanilla and a deep blue color. This is familiar, this is safe. "Billie! What happened?" Drew yells. Reuben begins to cry again at Drew's voice.
    They had never heard her yell. That wasn't safe or familiar. But the blue and vanilla were. The dark clothing and pale skin were familiar. Reuben grabbed onto Billie's shirt tightly, a nonverbal plea to stay in her arms. "I've got you, it's okay," she comforted. "Drew, get Finneas to meet us in Zoe's room," she orders. Drew nods and walks off.
     Billie carries Reuben to Zoe's room and she sits on the bed, adjusting Reuben in her lap so they can snuggle into her. "It's okay, here do you want my bunny?" she asks. She hands Reuben a stuffed bunny. It's black with white paws. They cuddle into the animal. Finneas opens the door. "Reuben?" Reuben jolts and looks for their caregiver, "papa-" they whimper.
     Finneas takes them from Billie and Reuben doesn't seem to mind, nuzzling into him instead. "It's okay, papa's got you now, you're okay," he says softly. Reuben nods. "Seepy-" Reuben mumbles. "Sing- papa sing-" Reuben babbles. Finneas nervously sighs before huffing. "I'm sorry buddy I can't right now," he says.
     Billie nervously looks at her big brother, "May I?" she asks. Finneas nods and Billie sings a lullaby, watching as Reuben visibly relaxes and falls asleep in Finneas' arms. Finneas sets Reuben into Zoe's bed and covers them up. "Explain, now." he says. "Marcus was about to beat them up, I stopped him and beat the shit out of them but they were regressed and wouldn't let go of me. I gave them my bunny cause they seemed upset," she rushes.
     "Shit, it was impure, it was caused by fear- they forgot everything about you except your smell and since you were something they recognized their brain said you were safe" Billie gave him a confused look. "Their brain forced them to regress cause they were scared and nothing was familiar, so the first familiar thing was automatically labeled safe." Finneas explains.
     Billie nods in understanding this time. She looks to Reuben. "If Marcus touches them again, I get dibs." she says angrily. Finneas looks at her. "We saw him leaving. You did a number on him. I'm sure Reuben is grateful" he says softly. Billie looks back to the sleeping person and nods. "I'm sorry for scaring them. " she says softly.
     Zoe opens the door, "Hey, I'm kicking everyone out except you guys, Finn should Billie leave?" she asks. Billie stands up to leave but her brother stops her. "I think Reuben will want you or me when they wake up, so you should stay." he says. Billie nods and sits back down. "You guys can clean up the party, I'll stay here with them." she says. The group of friends nods and leaves.
     Billie goes to Zoe's desk and sits down, playing on her phone so if Reuben wakes up they won't be weirded out if they're big. It felt right when she was holding them. It felt right when they cuddled into her. What was happening? Billie googled "caregiving tips" and began researching how to know if she was a caregiver, even though she knew what her answer would be. She knew she was a caregiver. But she didn't know if Reuben would want her to be theirs.