I am all yours (Love Story- BxBxG)

Chapter 1

Following you has always been my first obligation, following your footsteps to a party, to our major in college, to your bedroom. You are the thing I desire. The thing I want to follow for the rest of my life. Though it does not matter, you do not follow the same path that I do. You dont live in your shadow. I like living in your shadow though.

Like right now, we are heading into the senior summer party of the century, our friend Dylan is hosting it. His parents don't care about what happens to the house, they will just have someone fix it. Lucky.

The whole school even showed up, even some of the freshman college students that were on the sports team with us. You belong here, everyone knows you, everybody wants to be you. I, on the other hand, will stand back and make the occasional joke and drink before we have to leave.

You are a natural, natural at being friends with everyone, natural with girls, natural at being handsome. I want to be you, on a charismatic level, but I want you to be mine and only mine on an emotional level. That wont happen though, you are straight and have a girlfriend. I would never come out as gay and I would never tell you my feelings.

I want to be you, in every single way. I hate myself, I don't want to be gay. I know it is more accepted now, but I still couldn't. My parents would hate me for being their only son and I wont carry on the family name or that my friends would all think I'm weird and not the right fit for the group anymore. It is too risky for me.

I am glad high school is over, college will be different. I may even find a girl to love. Just like you have. You found Christine in Junior year, she was yours, and you were hers. She is a pretty girl, has done cheerleading since 5th grade, so she is fit, then she is also caring. I never saw her be mean to anybody else. She was perfect for you.

***

The party has only gotten more populated as the night goes on, I've drank more than I have ever before. I feel sick, but staring at you from across the room is keeping me stable. You are playing video games with the cooler boys, looking amazing with your curly brown hair and toned arm muscles.

"Hey, Toby, are you all good?" a voice spoke out. Looking over it was Christine, smiling and doing her mom duties. She is very pretty, and she is just amazing.

"I feel sick, but I am just going to keep sitting here for a while," I answer, trying not to cry, I wish I was in her place. She places her hand on my shoulder giving a caring pat before walking away and sitting next to you.

You get to be normal, I wish I could. The music is sickening, I cant focus even on you. I am trying to concentrate on just the floor at this point, but everyone is talking too loud and the feeling of throwing up has overcome every other emotion.

I stand, dropping my drink and just bolting past everyone to the upstairs bathroom. Luckily no one was inside, so I opened the toilet and threw up everything I ate today. Which was not a lot, just a protein bar and pasta.

I didnt even get a chance to close the door, I was just focusing on not needing to take a nap. I feel so tired now.

"Toby, need water?" a voice, a handsome voice, spoke out. It was you, Eli. You are standing in the door frame with a cup of water, prepared, and looking at me with those eyes.

I reach my hand out and grab it, "Thank you," I say before sipping on some of the water. He crouched next to me then sat down.

"I will hang with you until you are ready to go home, you shouldnt have drank that much," he says as he moves his hand through his hair. He is so hot, so kissable with his pink lips. I smiled before throwing up more. His hand gliding on my back gave me a reassuring pat. I had butterflies in my stomach that flew out. I could also feel some of these butterflies going downwards.