//*** NEW CHAPTER EVERY WEDNESDAY AND SUNDAY ***//
Based on a true story
Valentine grapples with a deep-seated weariness of life. Caught in a cycle of toxic relationships and recurring hospital stays, she raises her son alone, wrestling daily with h...
WARNING : There will be mentions and descriptions of depression, drugs and suicide.
I have oftentimes questioned my very purpose on Earth. I felt alien there, and I could not find somewhere I belong to. When did I first think about cutting my life short? I cannot recall precisely, perhaps a decade ago. At first, I imagined it for a long time. Sometimes, I tightened a scarf around my neck until I felt the blood get trapped into my cheeks, making my face turn blue, and then suddenly I released it. I took a deep breath, my heart pumping hard in my chest, so hard that its beats broke the solemn silence of the night. I closed my eyes, and the scenarios took shape. They became clearer, more real. From the body that would throw itself into the void to the rope that would be tied around the neck, to the handfuls of pills swallowed with vodka and perhaps a bit of orange juice, to better ingest the tablets and the alcohol. I became omniscient, seeing the abyss, my lifeless body, and the life that would gradually slip away. A feeling of calmness then enveloped my entire being. It became an obsession. The bravest would choose the radical method, the one that would leave no room for doubt or chance. But I was too coward to jump off a cliff or hang myself. I did not want to face death in brutality or suffer. Oh no! I had already suffered far too much... I wanted it to be gentle and painless. To take my flight like a feather, swirling towards the infinite firmament. I could get up in the morning and have a very good day, but the idea of ending it all never left my side. I was like a dead woman among the living. I smiled as often as possible, yet was not sure anyone could have suspected the intensity of the pain that gnawed at my soul's core and slowly killed me. I thought about it every day, dreamed of it every night, and one beautiful morning, without realising it, all the steps of the plan had been completed, waiting only to be executed. Today would be a perfect day. Let's do it. On three. One... two...
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