As You Look At Her

shonga

Nasa palengke ako para bumili ng mga art supplies. But something caught my attention, I lift my head and slowly made my eyes to glance at the sky, it is indeed beautiful, as always.

It seems  like it got splashed by multiple paint with different types of colors. Divine by the color  of amusing shade of violet and pink, and it's not just the colors but the sparkling stars as details had a huge contribution to it's beauty and especially the moon in a crescent shape.

Everything about it is astonishing, and breathe taking, that makes me barely move wanting to stay and just adore this beautiful scenery forever.

But it's about to get dark. I smiled as I look at the crescent moon. Everytime I am able to take a glace with these kind moments, It always came into my mind how good he is, everything he made looks so beautiful and precious, he will always be the best artist of them all.

Napatingin ako sa orasan ko, it's 6:30 sharp already. But well who cares? Nothing matters anyways, I am always able to go out and go home whenever myself wants, because fortunately no presence will even scold the heck out of me. As surely that my cousin, the only person I'm living with in the  house might not be there yet, precisely. I am sure enough that she's still in her school.

Most of the stores have already closed, usually the majority of the people here ay nagsasara alas sinco pa lamang ng hapon. Since karamihan kasi ng mga nag-titinda at kumakayod dito ay nakatira pa sa mga malalayong barrio.

Naglakad lakad ako nang madaanan ko ang plaza sa'min, fully green from the grasses as its skin, with benches in it for the people wandering inside. I can see families with a sparkly smiles on their faces hanging out together as they look at their love ones. There are some who are eating with someone, with no assurance but it might be their partner romantically.

Oh I wonder how good it is to be loved. I admire the beauty they possess, but it quite made my heart ache at the very same moment. I used to have that before, pero nandito ako ngayon nangangarap na maranasan uli.

Natagpuan ko ang aking sarili na pumapasok isang store na bilihan ng mga school supplies, and my whole system got surprised nang makita ko ang pamilyar na bulto ng nakatalikod na lalaki sa gawi ko na tila seryosong namimili ng ball pen.

I can only see his back, but I already have the idea from the moment I stepped a foot in this store who the guy is.

And having the idea of him being in the same room as I am gives me much of a strong lovely feeling, although it's quite exaggerated with a simple thing this indeed how I am feeling right at the exact moment time.

Him with his raven black hair na mala Levi ang gupit, simpleng porma niya na beige shirt and white shorts. Anything suits him, kahit ata pag suoiltin siya ng sako babagay sa'kaniya.

Tumuloy ako sa pagpasok kahit kinakabahan at kinikilig, at pumunta kung saan nakalagay ang mga colored paper, kumuha ako ng isang plastik, mapagtitripan ko din ito kapag wala akong magawa, gumawi na ako sa banda na may mga art materials. I looked for sketchpad, watercolor pad, and charcoal pencils. Ubos na din kasi ang sketch pad ko. Matagal akong namili dahil maarte ako sa sketchpad.

Habang namimili may narinig akong mga babae sa kabilang Isle, I do honestly have no intention to seriously listen to their conversation, but I accidentally heard his name.

"Iyon yung Diego hindi ba? Yung nasa kabilang school?" Sabi ng isang babae, na nagpalaki ng tainga at nagpataas ng kilay ko. It seems like he is not just a man who is well known in our place but to others as well, he is popular indeed.

"Oo siya nga 'yun, gwapo pala talaga yan. Pinagyayabang pa sa'kin ' Moment po ng pinsan ko na ka-school mate siya. Kala ko fake news lang na pogi yan, mas pogi pa b.⁶"  sagot ng isa at naghagikgikan silang dalawa. Where's the lie though? Nung unang kita ko diyan nang malapitan bigla akong napaniwala sa love at first sight, de charot lang, crush lang naman.

Nakapili na ako ng mga art materials, sumilip silip ako para makita kung nandiyan pa nga ba ang ginoo, ay big word. Pero ayun na nga wala na akong makitang bakas ng Diego sa paligid. Ano ba yan, sayang naman.

But since he is not here, then it means I am now able to choose things with no anxious, since there will be no reason for me to be.

Nagpunta ako sa madaming mga libro, cringe fiction books about love. But anyways, I love it. Babasahin ko this summer.

Kumuha ako ng isang libro at tinignan ang cover nito, it's bright blue like the clear sky when day time, with leaves around. I looked at the title and it was called

"Summer Days" basa ko sa title. Nang may malumanay na kamay na biglang kumuha sa libro na hawak ko.

"Don't ever plan read this, this story is full of bullshit. The female lead chased the guy with trashy personality then they got together, but the boy lowkey cheated on the female lead, no character development or anything. Kawawa lang 'yung babae and ang mas nakakairita pa, sila ang end game. These type of books encourage people to romanticize bad boys and toxic relationship, when they are not really worth it." Hindi sa pagkuha o sa mga sinabi niya ang napalundag sa puso ko, kung hindi sa kung sino siya. Is this even real? Am I not just seeing things or what? Apparently Diego is currently in front of me!

Nakatunganga ako sa'kanya habang nagbubungkal siya ng libro sa shelf, how in the world is this happening to me? Kinurot kurot ko ang braso ko to make sure if I am precisely seeing everything legit, at kaagad ko namang naramdaman ang sakit sa pino kong pagkurot sa sarili

I cleared my drying throat and wipe my dripping sweat, I can feel my heart beating so fast. It is like it wants to dramatically burst out of my chest, not knowing how many pumps of blood it had already made inside my chest.

"Arian right?" He says.

What in the world! You gotta be kidding me, I am definitely dreaming na lang talaga. There is no way these are all happening. Well minsan lang naman ako managinip ng ganito, sasakyan ko na lang.

Malakas kong sinampal ang sarili kong pisngi upang magising sa nakakalokong panaginip na ito. Napaatras at napanganga si Diego sa ginawa ko.

Kaagad kong pinagsisihan ang ginawa ko dahil naramdaman kong sakit, ponyeta this are all indeed true!

Napabalik ang tingin ko from the left side sa nakakaawang walang kamalay malay na pogi, bakas pa din ang gulat sa kanyang muka. I tightened my lips and smile awkwardly.

Nang biglang siyang matawa. What the? Is he seriously laughing? This is extremely embarrassing. But win win na din dahil nakita ko ang matamis niyang mga ngiti.

"Ah oo, pano mo alam?" I nervously ask him to break the awkwardness due to what I have done.

"Crush ka ng pinsan ko dati and our school is probably not that big for me not to be able to know people around." Sagot niya, at sino naman bang pinsan yun? Ay si Peter ata! Di ko alam kung ano pa ang idudugtong ko kaya nanahimik nalang ako.

"This!" May kinuha siyang libro sa shelf at ipinakita sa'kin. I looked at the book, it has a beach as a cover.

"Maganda 'toh, basahin mo. Highly recommended." Nakangiting sabi niya sa'kin, na hindi naman halatang excited siya na Irecommend yung libro. He looks so cute and handsome at the same time.

Nakangiting tinanggap ko ang libro, as you wish my bebe loves.

"Ah Sige sige babasahin ko. Thank you." Nanginginig ang kamay kong sabi. However, I refrained from letting my expression indicate how butterflies strike me from the inside.

"Sige na ngarod, aalis na ako." Nakangiting sabi niya at naglakad na papalayo.

Yet I am still able to feel my knees unceasingly trembling owing to what happened earlier, kaya napahawak ako sa shelf para hindi mabuwal nang tuluyan.

"Ading mag-sasara na kami." Sabi sa'kin ng isang babae, na taga bantay ata ng store . Napatango ako at kaagad na nagbayad ng mga pinagkukukuha ko.

I check for the time, and shockingly it is already 7:00 na pala, gagi!

Mabilis akong naglakad palabas ng establisyemento.

Nakangiti akong pumara ng tricycle, nakangiting sinabi kung saan ako sasakay, nakangiting pumasok, at bumyahe nang may matamis na ngiti sa aking mga labi.

Mukang may maisusulat na naman ako sa diary ko ah.