15:15.
i honestly start writing this right after i read your texts talking about how flat i am while being with you. if i could say anything, i feel really bad for treating you the worst, i am sorry... so, here is my make-up paragraphs, hoping that it would get through to your heart.
just like i said, million times, never did i think about being in a relationship again. knowing that i was in a deep dark abyss, drown, nearly give up as i had no more idea about how beautiful the love is. but then there was you, stood still by my side even when i pushed you that hard. you knocked something inside me and the first time i realized, you were there, growing inside of me.
these past two months being in such knot with you, and those days we spent to get to know each other, had brought me to life. receiving such genuine gestures, being asked about how my days went, to be underneath your warm hands is more than enough. really, i could never ask for more than you have ever give to me.
you are wonderful, this love is, us too.
kamu bilang, kamu bener-bener serius kalau udah ngomong pakai bahasa, aku juga. aku sayang sama kamu, banyak banyak.
aku minta maaf kalau aku banyak kurangnya, atau mungkin belum bisa jadi orang yang kamu mau, yang bisa penuhin beberapa dari ekspektasi kamu. aku bener-bener minta maaf atas hal-hal yang terjadi tadi atau beberapa waktu lalu yang jadi bahan bertengkar kamu sama aku.
maaf, ya? maaf kalau aku masih perlu waktu buat baca kamu, belajar paham sama kamu juga. aku harap kamu belum capek baca maaf yang aku ulang terus kayak gini.
kalau kemarin malam kamu bilang, kamu saat ini maunya aku bahagia sama kamu, yang aku rasain lebih dari itu. but indeed, i am extremely happy to be able to walk together with you.
btw maaf balik ke bahasa inggris, SUSAH BANGET NULISNYA AYANG. mau nangis.
but anyway, all of this is true, aku sayang kamu. i am sorry for not expressing it enough to you, but i will, from now on. i hope you could feel it and be free from those thoughts of questioning my love for you. cause it is really there.
i seriously want to make it up to my mistake so i decided to make this one. i maybe would write in here for you from time to time, you can check this page once in a while supaya kamu tau, i never stop thinking about you even for a second sepanjang aku sama kamu.
semoga belum capek buat berusaha ngerti aku, ya? terima kasih banyak buat waktu kamu, perhatiannya, kata-katanya, pemikirannya, sayangnya, hadirnya, cintanya. kalau aku bisa balikin semuanya, aku gak akan balikin. mau aku simpen dan aku sembunyiin biar kamu kasih lagi.
selamat dua bulan sama aku, Aldrich. semoga jalan di depan buat kamu sama aku juga masih panjang, i really hope so. take a chance with me?
p.s. aku gak sempat edit lagi. jadi gantinya, i give you free wish coupons that i will immediately grant once you tell me what your wish is. dipake, ya, have fun with it!
sincerely yours,
Audree.
