The Best Defense: A Sports Romance

Tillie

I can't sleep. Not a wink. I'm just laying here staring blankly at the textured ceiling of my bedroom. Supernatural playing on the TV at a higher volume than it probably should be, but if I have to hear my roommate fake climax one more time, I will lose my mind.

I'm rattled. There's no other way to put it. I'm not impulsive or spontaneous, I am cautious and a chronic overthinker who over thinks her overthinking. I can't explain it or find a reasonable explanation as to why I have no inhibitions around Devon Taylor.

I all but stumbled into the house when I got home, almost spilling everyone's clothes onto the floor. My entire body felt like a live wire. Crystal just looked at me with a confused half smile before asking who I was running from.

"My own inhabitions." I answer her, placing the laundry basket on the dining room table. I grab my stack out and hug it to my chest.

"Does this mean you did a little more than laundry tonight?" She smirks at me.I just smile then dig my face into the laundry in my arms. "Fine, don't tell me."

"Wasn't going to." I yell as I scamper up the stairs. I get to my room and place the pile of clothes on the dresser before flopping down on my bed.

Now I'm just lying here tracing one finger along the same path his nose did on my neck, the hair on the back of my neck stands up, and goose bumps coat my soft skin. I let out a ragged breath. Great, now I'm horny.

I used to masturbate. Hell, I used to do a lot of things. Then orgasms, sex, just lost allure. The more he used them as a weapon, the less I enjoyed them. After a while, I just went through the motions and gave him what he wanted. So many people won't understand, yet a small group of people will know exactly what I mean, which breaks my heart. Depressing much.

I roll over onto my side, knowing damn I am not going to do anything s is a sudden wave of fear crashing over me. What if someone saw it? What if someone tells him about Devon? What if he decides he still wants me?
No. No. He's gone Tillie. He's never gone more than a week.

I let myself breathe. I'm allowed to move on. I need to move on.

---------------

Just like always, I'm waiting by the front door for the girls. I can hear Crystal telling Jess that no amount of body glitter will help, which brings an audible involuntary snort.

"What are you laughing about?" I swing around to find Jennifer leaning against the living room entrance.

"Crystal and Jess," I smile then realise she's not dressed to go out. Odd. "Are you not coming tonight?" I ask.

"Nah, I'm going to stay home. I'm not in the mood to watch you and Devon Taylor eye fuck each other." Her words are laced with judgement and my hackles are up.

I knew we needed to have it out, but the timing could have been better.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I'm seething, I can feel my face heating up.

"I have a problem with hypocritical bitches."  By this point she's moved away from the wall and is now standing two feet from my staring me in the face. I want to grab her hair and throw her.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" I actually don't, all of this, none of how she's acted lately has made any sense.

Footsteps start descending down our wooden stairs.

"What's going on here?" Crystal asks in a worried tone.

"Nothing, I was just telling Till here that I won't be able to make it tonight. I'm not feeling well. A little nauseous." She doesn't break eye contact with me, and I don't miss the extra dig she threw in.