Helping Hand

Bonus

He hasn't been to a wedding in years. In fact the last time he was on a wedding, it was his own with his ex wife.

They have received the invitation one morning after they finished breakfast. Jordan was brining in the newspaper when he found the white envelope. Jordan puts the newspaper on the living room table while opening the invitation. John leans on his shoulder and looks down on the paper. The headline reads 'Manchester City player and former Liverpool skipper coming out and getting married in the same week!' John smiles and shifts his focus on the envelope in Jordan's hand. It's a simple white card with golden writing on the left and a gorgeous photo of the couple on the right. Jordan was so exited for them but he had a sad smile on his face while reading the card and John hates that he is the reason for it.

Two years after they made their relationships official, they decide to go on a weekend trip for their anniversary. A small town in Portugal. Just the two of them, the sea and a beautiful house close to the beach. John was exited to have Jordan all to himself. They swam in the morning, kissing in the sea until they both got exited for more. Jordan has selected a nice restaurant for their last evening in Portugal.

They were laying in bed, still exhausted from sex when Jordan had asked him the question.

'Have you ever thought about us getting married?', he asked John. John has lifted up his head from Jordan's chest and had looked at him funnily. He has never thought about getting married again after his divorce. They live together, they share the same bed, they cook together and take care of each other. It already feels like marriage. John just doesn't want the pressure of a marriage anymore. He doesn't want it to be final. He loves Jordan and he can't imagine his life without him but he was thinking the same about his ex wife and it went terrible.

John will never forget Jordan's face after he said 'no'. He excused himself to go to the bathroom to clean up but John waited way too long for him to come back. The dinner was awkward. Jordan told him to wait for him outside, since he needed to speak to the waiter about their table. He came back fifteen minutes later in a bad mood.

Jordan changed after this day. He distanced himself from John. He spent two weeks after Portugal at his parents house in Sunderland and John was devastated. He knew that it has something to do with him not wanting to get married, but he didn't think that the other man would be that hurt.

Jordan was at work on day, when John decided to organise their closets. He had a couple of days off and he wanted to do something productive. His part of the closet is usually organised, since he likes to have it that way but Jordan doesn't mind a mess and would usually just stuff his shirts into the drawers. John would always get mad at him when he wants to go outside the house with crinkled clothes. Sometimes he would wear a shirt more than once and put it back inside the closet since he is too lazy to bring it to their laundry basket and it drives John insane. He grabs the jacket that Jordan wore for their dinner in Portugal. John doesn't remember washing it, so he sniffs the collar of the jacket. It smells like Jordan's perfume, cigarettes and sea salt. The smell is not terrible but he was planning on washing the black laundry today, so he will add it to it. He checks the pockets. Jordan is not a bag person, he will stuff everything in his pockets and forget to take it out. John remembers when he washed the white laundry once and Jordan had forgot a red tissue in his white shorts, from a pub night out. Everything was pink.

Both of the outside pockets of the jacket are empty but while scanning the jacket for a second time, he can feel that there is something in the inside patch. He takes out a velvet black jewellery box. John opens the box and there is a ring in it. It looks like white gold, it's a little bit broader in the front where the black diamond is. Very simple but it looks nice. He would've liked it. John takes it out and turns it around to see if there is something written in the back. And there it is, four words that ripped his heart apart 'Mine, Til' I Die'. John sits down on the bed, feeling his legs getting weaker. He holds the ring tightly in his hand before the first tears run down his face.