carl grimes x reader oneshots!

scars

Tw: only kissing, self harm (implied),isolation and disassociating (wrote from personal experience, mostly too spread awareness, if someone you know is experiencing these signs please reach out too see if they need help, now let's continue :))

YN-your name

YN pov:

Day 2037, since this started, this disease, this plague, and 2035 days since I watched my family die, my mom, dad,sisters, brothers and freinds, it was Thursday the 26th August 2010, I was in a parents conference meeting, discussing my plummeting mental health, when we left my sister, and 2 brothers were waiting outside with the supervision of my freinds who were supposed too be staying the night,
We turned our back and all of a sudden my freind evie was being eaten fucking alive by a rotting corpse closely resembling my teacher Mrs zamora, we ran, and ran, then those things got my sister, then my brothers who lacked behind to try and help, then my dad who sacrificed himself too save me and my mother, then the night after my mother died, she had been bitten by one of those things but we didn't think anything of it, since we didn't know it was an infection transmitted through saliva, but now we do, and we did too late, I was alone, I had too kill my mom, well what was left, and for days, weeks, months after I wondered the world on my own, breaking into hunting shops, Walmart for canned food, and sleeping in trees, I was dirty, tired, and sick, many a time I wish I had been bitten, until I met these,  people, a large group of survivors who most litteraly just called themselves survivors, they took me in, cleaned me up, and looked after me, it was in a prison a nice prison, before this I would have rather died than lived in a prison but here I am, living in a prison, as a safe haven.
We moved around alot, then when we were separated from the prison the group of 15+ turned into groups of -4, my group consisted of, me, Daryl, Beth, and a boy named carl, carl cared, he always checked up on me, gave me food when I wouldn't eat, and helped me clean wounds from when I went out scavenging. Carl was a good guy, I loved him alot, but in a way I had never felt before, what was he doing too me?

~current time/24th March, 2016~

Our group had been separated for about 2 months now, we were living in a shop, small but safe, it had some canned soup and medicine, which was good enough for us, we slept in the back of the store on some old quilts, currently Beth and Daryl are out scavenging while me and Carl are trying too get radios too work.

Carl pov:

Shes just sat there, doing nothing, but not in a deliberate sence more of a dead sence, like she's dead or something, sat there, staring, is she upset, have I done something?
"...YN, are you ok? You seem sad or something..." I said hesitantly, too no reply,
"....YN??....YN?????" I say snapping my fingers infront of her,
"Ah! Sorry what did you say??" She said startled,
"I was just asking,are you ok? You seem a bit out of it today?"
I said confused by the previous event,
"Yeayea, im fine, just happens sometimes." Her voice sounds guilty and hushed,
"I'll be back, just need the restroom." She states, walking away before I can get a word in, should I follow her? I think, getting up slowly walking behind her, the bathroom door is left ajar, as the lock is broken, its open just enough for me too see inside.

YN pov:

I walk to the bathroom, grabbing a dirty makeup bag  its filled with hair cutting things, like scissors, hair spray, and razorblades.
I cry into my teeth, arms sore, eyes sore, everywhere sore,
Until I hear a bang, as carl bursts into the door, knocking the blade out of my hand and holding me close too him, the smell of his deodorant and sweat mixing into your sinuses, it calms you, your head blurry all you can hear is crying, but it isnt all your own, hes crying too?
You back your head away, tears rolling down your face and your met with a saddened boy, small tears rolling down his cheeks,
"Im...sorry....carl." I say with a hush in my voice,
"Don't apologize,just, try not too do it again, don't please, and if you do, tell me, ok?" He says shaking, his voice filled with sincerity,
"Jump, up Onto the side,"
You do so as he asks, as he grabs a clean towel and some bottled water, cleaning your sore arm, when he's done he grabs the blade and puts it in his pocket, to keep it out of your reach,
"I love you too much too see you like this," he cooed, before you could respond his soft lips met yours, you kissed back passionately, but softly,
"I love you too." You say your head resting onto his shoulders,
Maybe it isnt all over for me, maybe there's something left.

As I said at the start of the fiction, if you know anyone experiencing this please reach out, help people, be a good person :)