The price to pay

Chapter five

"Obsessive love is a fire that burns everything in its path."

William Shakespeare

"Rita, hi, I am so surprised to hear from you... aren't you supposed to be in Turkey?"

Her call surprised me, not because of the occasion, but because of the time... it was almost midnight, and I instantly hope that il Signor Maragno did not wait until now to tell her that her trip to Turkey was officially canceled.

When I've asked that favor to Lucio, he did not ask questions, he limited himself to say it would be done, not to worry about it.

And I've waited, for almost seven days, trying to live my life as if nothing happened, and dying inside fearing that he did not accomplish my request and had allowed her to leave.

"I was supposed to leave tomorrow morning... I don't know, I guess I have been wrapping my head around it all day but... they canceled my trip."

"What do you mean?"

Lie.

You have to lie to her.

"I mean that... they have said that there was a problem with my degree, that it needs to be recognized in Italy as well, but I thought that... I don't know, I have provided all of that information already and... I don't know."

I hear her tone and my chest pains.

Guilt should be eating me on the insides, but I cannot help to think that this is a blessing.

"Are you sure? Is there anything I can do...?"

"No, no," she quickly replies, as I hear her sighing, "no, I'm sorry... I guess I needed someone to talk to, someone who knew about it and...."

"It's fine, I'm here for you."

Now more than ever.

I hear her breathing loudly on the other side of the phone, I turn on the light to imagine her sensual body walking in my room, as I stand and grab her shoulders, forcing to break her emotional barriers with me only.

She likes to play strong, I guess, but she does not need it with me.

"I'm sorry, you were probably asleep, tomorrow you work... I should not have called."

"No, hey, listen to me," yes, listen to my voice, Rita, "it's fine, you need to take this out of your chest, I am more than willing to listen to you."

She would be laying in my bed now, with her eyes full of tears as I kiss her pale neck, as I prove her that she does not need to leave to anywhere else in the world when I can give her everything she wants.

Rita would cry, she could do it with me, and then I would place my body on hers and kiss her, I would make her forget she was upset in the first place.

As I straighten my body in bed, covering my legs with the linen sheets, I think of how grateful I am of sleeping alone tonight, and I enjoy the blood fueling towards my manhood as I hear her breathing heavily again.

"I just think that... at the end of the story, it is my fault... they have canceled my trip because I will never be Italian enough to be considered an equal, that my degree gotten outside of this country is less than one from a way inferior individual who just had the money to graduate here."

"You're not less than anyone."

How can she even consider this? She is a beautiful, strong individual, she is brilliant, how can she even think that they would not see her the same way I see her?

"I don't know... I had my heart set on going and helping, and now I am useless... I have to wait for months to be able to work as a doctor... I don't know."

"Stop, no, you are not useless."

I can't let her say it.

"Where are you?" I ask her.

"I'm home, why?"

"Send me your address, let's talk this out."

Rita almost laughs at me:

"It's midnight, you have to work tomorrow, that's insane," she pauses, maybe considering it, and then adds, "no, you cannot do this."

"Let me do it for you, please."

I'll get her, have a ride in my car, take her to look at the stars in the middle of the forest and I will make her forget about this trip.

She needs me to get better.

"No, it's fine... I guess that I'll just spend my night unpacking and tomorrow it'll be another day."

She plays hard to get.

I admire that... not wanting to bother me, taking her time to analyze her feelings and make me know that she can deal with it herself, cause she is not weak.

"Anyways... I'll go now, I still have to make a call in Sweden, I don't want to bother you anymore."

"Sweden?"

Why Sweden?

Rita... you can't keep dropping country names on me and expect I won't lose my mind... Turkey, now Sweden.... What are you doing?

"Yeah, my boyfriend... Elias, we were supposed to meet in Türkiye tomorrow, but now... well, you know."

Boyfriend.

She has a boyfriend.

And a stupid one as well, one who would allow her to be by herself in here, who would allow her to travel to a foreign country and "meet in Turkey". What sort of self-centered man would place his own desires in front of hers?

"Elias... he is a doctor too... now we won't be able to work together, and I am stuck here, with nothing to do but to complain about it...."

"Well... you can call me anytime."

"I guess I'll see you more around than I expected."

"I guess so...."

"Thank you, for tonight," she says, "I needed this, you were amazing, thank you."

"No, thank you for calling."

As soon as she hangs up, I scroll through Instagram, finding Lucio's account, he follows his father; from there, I search his associations, his work in the Middle East and Europe, and finally his NGO... "Doctors for hope"... cliché name....

I click, finding hundreds of pictures, teams and teams of people reunited in pictures worth of Save the Children announces on tv, always at dinnertime.

Who could be Elias?

Swedish man, he has to be Swedish looking... I stare at every single tall, blond man I see, to finally search who follows the NGO Instagram page, and when I type his name, it is easy to spot a name and a face.

Elias Bergman... Dr Elias Bergman, cocky bastard, publishing his medical degree to laugh at me, in my face, about not having one.

His profile is not even private, shallow man, he likes to show off his 1.80 meters of height, his muscled body, his blond hair, almost silvery, and he likes to show HER off... Rita. She took extra precautions to make her personal life as private as possible to then being exposed by the man who claims to love her....

I hate him.

I hate the way he holds her with only one arm, lifting her as if she was a ragdoll, as she kisses him in front of what must be an Asian temple.

I hate the way he calls her "Amore"... he is not even Italian, why call her Amore?

He does not deserve her....

No one deserves her but me.