Re:Monster - Dead on Arrival

Day 1-5

Day 1:

I wake up in an ugly green body after being killed in my previous life...what the fu-

Anyway! I should probably introduce myself, I'm Gobu-Rei, but I used to be Jack Rayfield, a human with special abilities, an "Esper". I had the ability called "Consumption Absorption" which allowed me to eat anything (and I do mean ANYTHING) and potentially gain skills from it...Damn...I even had [Teleport] as a skill...welp, whatever, might as well make the most of my life as a Goblin! Although...I can't move...

Day 2:

I still can't fucking move! I swear to whatever god (or gods, I don't judge by religion) is out there that if I can't move by tomorrow I will-

Day 3:

I was able to move today! My time being unable to walk left me with a metric fuck-ton of energy, so I spent the day seeing what I could do (not much, sadly), apparently another Goblin child named Gobu-Rou had the same idea! I wonder what Goblins eat...and there's the exhaustion...ow...I can't move...fuck.

Day 4:

I was told that, in order to eat, I have to go get food myself. So I went hunting. It went a little something like

Go into forest

Grab a stick

Find an animal

beat the fucking thing until its heart stops

Eat it!

So overall it was pretty nice, although I didn't get any skills...did I lose my Consumption Absorption? Well that's depressing, but whatever. I went back to the Goblin Cave and found Gobu-Rou and...Gobu-Kichi? Is that his name? No idea, honestly. I went back outside to hunt and found a Horned Rabbit! Much different from the normal rabbits that I was hunting earlier. This time something interesting happened

It fought back!

I tried to hit it with a stick but it leaped backwards and lunged towards me, with me just barely avoiding it by rolling to the right, Dark Souls style. I then tried to hit...but I missed again? What the fuck. I tried again, and I missed. I then dashed to the right of the rabbit, stabbing upwards, and I finally fucking killed it! 

"HA HA! Take that you leaping bastard! I win!"

I immediately took the damn thing and ate it, gaining the [Escape] skill. It exists! Fuck Yeah! I immediately try to go hunting and find some Snake lookin' things...and immediately run away because I refuse to go near that things fangs until I know that I'm able to beat it.

Day 5:

I went out hunting again today, before I did I noticed Gobu-Rou and Gobu-Kichi (That is, in fact, his name...I think...) going out to hunt with Gobu-Mi, a female Goblin. They asked me if I wanted to go along, but I refused. Instead I went out and hunted a few more Horned Rabbits, and got a "Medium Size Horn" from one of them. After that I was confident I could take out a Night Viper, and I was right! The Night Viper tried to bite me only to get stabbed in the roof of it's mouth. Eating it gave me the [Thermography], [Presence Detect], [Poison Generation], [Snake's Evil Eye], and [Poison Resistance] skill. After that, I went back to the cave and decided to go (sneak) into the storage room and jesus harold christ the women look like they're 3 feet into the ground already! Anyway, I took something that resembled a red, glowing stone. I ate it (because shiny = fun) and got the [Pyrokinesis] and [Flame Resistance] skill. I then went out to hunt once more and found another Horned Rabbit, god these are so annoying! Every time I try to hit them, I fuckin' miss! Luckily, I was able to kill this one, but damn. I got [Horned Strike], a skill that increases my damage output from horn based weapons, from it, which will eventually be useless, but for now it's pretty good. Anyway, after I was done hunting, I decided to go right back home and sleep, it was a long day, after all.