keep calm and $wag on

PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU READ THIS IS OUT IS A GANGSTER ACCENT YO!

"knock knock"

i walked into the class, a sea of gay hipsters dug me out cos i a bit late, i thought to myself  "oi, what the fuck, don't do on me? what you doing, school ain't everything? yolo!". yeah, that's right, i don't live by no rules except one....yolo, that was the only thing i followed, apart from Lil Wayne on twitter. 

anyway, cos i was late and that, i thought it would be well funny to say this to my bitch of a teacher, even though i wanted to bang her massive tits till they were floppy like my beige chinos, so yeah i said "sorry I'm late miss, just picked up a cheeseburger for 99p""....i sniggered to  myself, but no one else did (#fuckdah8ers). 

the bell rang, i yelled "oh fucking hell lad i got no pen", i slyly hinted to my classchavs, but no one replied to me, they was all jealous of my unique swag. i swaggered out the class and into the 1st class toilets, they were too nice! had wank stains on the floor and it reeked of piss! fucking mint! most of the toilets had no toilet paper, but i didn't mind cos i just turned my Yankee snap-back inside out and used that instead (#peaceful #itsnoteasybeinggreen), but today my hat weren't getting cover in piss.....i found a picture of my ex bitch's mum, she was so peng! i slowly whacked out dat picture and didn't even need to get myself started, i already spunked myself just by thinking of her.

i swaggered on out the toilets and thought "oh shit mahn", mr chavinson was stood there just looking down at me like "what the fuck? why'd you do that? equal rights?"...he called my mum and she picked me up in her shitty little thing she calls a car, more like a pile a shit.

i got out of the pile of shit and yelled "SON OF A BITCH!!!!" , it was raining like and i gone and stood in a piece of dat rain. my blazers were ruined! but at least i had my Nike airs to back me up on this shit. i slapped my blazers off and got into my mint new onesie that my mum got me from JJB, it had "yolo" written all over it and little pictures of the weed logo. it was only like 12 and i was well tired and cold...and fucking starving! slut of a mum hadn't even put me any chicken nuggets in the oven? just what the actual fuck bitch? i get up at 8 in the morning then get kicked out of school by 12? all you do is work 8 hours a day in maccies? 

eugh hate my life!! wonder what its like to be hipster?