Faithless. ~2~

7

It was too soon, it seemed, that Warped Tour was over. It has been four weeks since I fell and broke my arm and ribs. Soon, this cast will be off. I sometimes caught myself counting down the days. I either had two weeks left, or another four. I don't think I can handle another four weeks. 
But at least I had Cam helping me. He'd tie my shoes when I needed help. And now, we stand in the Black Veil Brides bus as we packed up the rest of my things. 
"I think that's the rest of it." Cam says as he zips up my suitcase and sets it down with the rest of them. He cups my cheeks in his hands and kisses me, both of us smiling as he did. "You ready to go home?" 
"Only if I get to take you with me." I say as I wrap my good arm around his middle. "I'll be getting my own place soon. Which means that we'll have total and complete privacy." 
"That's good, I won't have to sleep on Andy and Juliet's couch whenever I visit." 
"He'll come around." I say, smiling as he leans down and captures my lips with his. My broken arm stays tucked between us, and my other hand reaches up to tangle into his hair. He always kisses me with so much love, and like he felt like I was strong enough to handle anything, and everything, that he threw at me. 
Just as his tongue slips into my mouth, a throat clears behind us. I pull away with a small sigh and turn around to see CC. "Um, we're gonna head out soon." CC says before he turns around and leaves. 
The truth was, Andy and literally everyone else in our lives had come around to the fact that Cam and I had started dated then I fell off of the stage and broken my bones. Everyone but CC. My best friend was barely able to look at me anymore. It was starting to make me sad, but there was only so much I could do when he wouldn't talk to me.  
"It's okay." Cam says as he rubs my arm. "He'll come around eventually. He just needs some time." 
"He's had four weeks." I mutter as we walk out of the bus and approach the cars. "It's been four weeks." 
"Just give him some time." 
I have been hearing this a lot. From Alex, Shannon and Damon, from Danny's cousin Charlotte, who had joined us for the tail end of the four, and from Andy and Juliet. He's had a month to get over it. I didn't know what hurt more, the fact that he wouldn't look at me, or the fact that he wouldn't talk to me. When he did, which was rare, he was stiff and awkward, and he had stopped calling me Sunshine whenever he saw me. It truly made me fear that our friendship, our sibling like relationship, would never, ever be the same again. All because I started dating Cam instead of him. 
Warped Tour ended in California, which was home to most of us, and to celebrate my possible moving out, Charlotte was planning a party because she was convinced that I'd be able to get the apartment the first time I tried to get one. I didn't think it was a bad idea, I needed the distraction from the CC sized hole in my heart. 
"I wanna go to the beach." I say to the group of my friends that are gathered around the cars. The group consisted of Alex, Shannon and Damon, Black Veil Brides, and Asking Alexandria. My friends, my family... and also CC. "Like a little get together before we go our separate ways." 
The only people going in a separate direction from the rest of us, is Asking. Most of them, save for Danny and Dawn who live in Texas, lived in Arizona. At least it would be easy for Cam and I to visit one another. 
"I think that's a great idea." Alex says with a smile. The others had agreed, even if somewhat reluctantly on CC's part. 
I get into the Asking car and I sit next to Cam, one of my hands in his with my hurt arm in my lap. Danny drives the car with Dawn in the passenger seat, and he held her hand. It was cute, seeing how much she needed him. It almost makes me think that I was wrong that day at Red Robin. 
We're going to meet everyone in La Jolly Cove beach, one of my favorite beaches in San Diego. I sometimes took whole days out of my week just to go to this beach. I love the tide pools, the cliffs. It was always so peaceful there. 
I squirm uncomfortably in my seat as I scratch my cast and sigh. "Hey, Danny?" 
"Yeah, Ell?" 
"Can we stop for food? I need to take my meds." I have been taking my pain killers once in the afternoon, and once at night. These were the times when my pain felt the worst. I was looking forward to this being over. I miss using my other arm, and being able to tie my own shoes. 
"How many times a day do you use them?" James asks. I just barely manage to catch him and Ben exchanging a glance as I turn to face them. James, Ben and Sam were in the very back of the car. 
"Only twice a day. I take half at lunch, and the other half before bed." I turn back around and settle back in against Cam. "I'm being super careful about this." I wish I wasn't trying to be careful, especially when my ribs scream in protest every time I breathe, or my arm doing the same when I stretch in the morning. But I don't want to disappoint anyone by taking more than that. I don't think that I'd get addicted or anything, but you never know. 
"Being so careful that she's always in pain." Cam says as he leans his cheek against the top of my head. "It's okay if you take a whole pill." 
"I'm fine, Cam." I take his hand and intertwine our fingers. "I'm managing." 
He looks like he wants to argue for a moment, however, he just sighs and pulls me closer to his side. "Alright." 
On the way to the beach, Danny pulls up to a Taco Bell, and as I eat, I watch the city pass us by. My apartment was hopefully going to be in San Diego, and with Andy's help, it'll hopefully be mine. I'd hopefully be hearing back about it today. 
As we park, I take a moment to take the half of a pill and Cam helps me down to the beach, and my body feels less achy, just not as pain free as I want it to be. I keep my feet in the water and watch my friends. 
Watching Dawn and Danny, I feel a pit growing in my stomach. The vibes always felt off around Danny, and that feeling only got stronger as they days went on. Was he cheating on her? Could it possibly be worse than that? I don't how it could be worst than that, but it's possible. Anything is possible. 
"What's on your mind, Love?" Cam says as he wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder. 
"I don't know, it might be nothing." I lean back against him, my hands resting over his, and close my eyes. I have never felt so tired my entire life. As the sun started to set all I crave now is sleep. "I think something's up with Danny." 
"What makes you say that?" 
"I dunno." I shrug. Now fully leaning back against him. "I might just be over thinking, trying to project my anxiety about the apartment on to other people." 
"Everything is going to be just fine, Ella." 
"Promise?" 
"I promise." 
We're silent for a moment as the water splashed against the backs of our legs. I feel myself starting to doze off, only the feeling of my phone buzzing in my back pocket woke me up. "I should get that." I mumble, stepping away from Cam as I take my phone out of my pocket and head to the bonfire that Sam and Jake made. It looks like we're gonna roast some marshmallows. 
"Hello?" I ask as I answer it. 
"Hi! Is this Isabella Biersack?" 
"Yes, this is she." 
"Hi, this is Jean, from Strauss on Fifth? I wanted to let you know that you got the apartment you applied for." 
"No way!" I yelled. I'm so happy, so excited, that I forgot, if only momentarily, all of the weird stuff going on in my life. "Thank you. When can I start moving in?" 
"Just come by tomorrow morning and sign some paperwork, and you'll be good to go." 
"Alright, thank you so much." 
"It's no problem. See you soon." 
As soon as I hang up, I turn around and run to Cam with a bug smile on my face as I throw myself into his arms. "I got it!" I yell as she spins me around. "I got the apartment and I can start moving in tomorrow!" 
"That's great, Love." And he kisses me. I wrap my arms around his neck as he dips me toward the ground. 
Our kiss only ended for two reasons: One because I accidentally hit him with my cast, and two because food was done cooking. As we sat around the campfire, I take a moment to look at my friends. 
Maybe I was wrong about that one night being the last normal one. 
+++
Have you ever gone to sleep with everything left just the way you left it, in perfect order? But then, by the time you wake up, everything is completely destroyed? That's how I felt when I got up on moving day. 
I was the first one up, I guess because I was so exited that I really couldn't find it in me to go back to sleep, I made coffee and some food. It felt like a normal day, especially when Cam came out of my room and kissed my temple before helping me get my meds, and this time, he gave me a whole pill. He even pulled me into his lap as Andy and Juliet came out of their room. 
It all felt very normal. 
Of course, that was before my moving day bliss was shattered my all Hell breaking loose. Cam and I's phones start to blow up with calls, and texts, from Asking, Charlotte and Dawn. 
Moving day had quickly turned into damage control day. As soon as Cam and I were dressed, we met them at my new, and empty, apart from the Dunkin' Donuts James had brought, apartment. 
"Danny has left the band." Ben says, not for the first time. 
"Why?" I feel like I'm the only one who can't wrap my head around this, but maybe I'm just in denial. I had sensed that something was wrong, but I didn't think that it was this. I never imagined that this was going to happen. 
"He said he needed a break." Cam says as he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me against his side. "He also said that we should carry on without him." 
"I told him he'd always have a place in the band." Ben says. 
Sam opens his mouth to speak, but we all turn as we hear Dawn sniffling. Dawn was sitting apart from all of us, nursing a jelly filled donut. 
"No note." She says as tears slowly roll down her cheeks. "He didn't call me, I was just alone when I woke up this morning." Dawn sets her donut down on the counter with so much spite that it was like she's blaming it for all of this. "You'd think that he'd have-well, it's all very mad-been together all these years-" 
"Since we were in school." James says. 
It's weird seeing how Dawn and James were reacting like the two sides of the same coin. She was heart broken, her entire world came crashing down around her today, she lost literally everything. And James, her older brother, looked like he wanted to try and fix it for her, most likely by beating the absolute shit out of Danny. 
James wasn't the only one looking like they wanted to beat Danny up if that meant being able to see Dawn smile again. I'm among those-James, Sam, Ben and Char-who have that line of thought. 
"It'll be okay, Dawn." I say as I reach over to hold her hand. "I'll run him over if you want. It'll look like an accident since I'm still learning how to drive." 
Dawn manages to let out a small giggle as she gave my fingers a gentle squeeze. "Thanks, Ella, I'll take that into consideration." 
Our conversation is cut short by the movers coming by with all of my things. As we unpack, Cam keeps me with the thing that didn't take much effort, he sits me down with my book boxes after Ben and James had set up my bookshelf. 
I feel useless, all of my friends were setting up all of my big things, while I was putting away clothes, setting up stuffed animals, and putting away books. I feel even more useless when I got tired after every task. My arm hurt and my ribs ache every time I get up. 
But in seemingly no time at all, we have my place set up and we're able to go to the store to get plates and things. I feel so tired by the time we get home that all I can do is lay down. "You okay?" Cam asks as he lays down next to me. 
"Yeah, I'm just feeling exhausted." I say, scooching over to give him room to lay down next to me. "I didn't really do anything today." 
Once he's laid down next to me and had the blankets over us, he pulls me over and against his chest. "it's okay to be tired, Love. You're still healing." 
"Yeah, I guess." I mumble as I close my eyes and lay my head on his arm. "Are you okay?" 
"Yeah, I'm okay. I mean, I'm mad that he just dropped all of us out of nowhere, but I think I'm even more mad about what he did to Dawn." He's silent for a few seconds before he says. "I don't know how we're gonna recover, or keep the band going." 
"We'll figure it out." 
"You think so?" 
"I know so." I smile as he leans over to kiss my shoulder. "There isn't anything we can't do when we're together." 
"Good." He smiles against my skin as he presses his lips against my neck. "I'm going to need you throughout all of this." 
"I'll be with you every step of the way." 
This is one of the few moments of our relationship where I realize that Cam needs me just as much as I need him. "Thank you." He whispers. 
And we quickly fall asleep, both of us knowing that we'll need our energy for whatever was coming next. 
+++
The next few days consisted of PR statements, meetings with Sumerian Records to figure out our next steps and, to everyone's surprise, June meeting with us too. She looks great and healthy, it's nice to see light in her eyes, even if that light was mostly full of anger and plots for revenge. 
"Shoulder to shoulder, I'm yours." She told us during the first meeting she'd attended since Reckless and Relentless. 
It was quickly decided that Asking Alexandria was not over, and that we needed a new lead singer. We, I think to myself as I sit in the middle of our seventh meeting since Danny left. It's almost funny how it quickly turned from them, to we since Warped. And that even feels like it was a million years ago. 
"We think that Denis Stoff should replace Danny." Ash says as he looks at us. 
June and I share a skeptical look. Denis is a Ukrainian vocalist, a brilliant one, and he was very good looking, but he is very well known for rapid fire joining and ditching bands. 
"We'll give him a chance." Ben says, catching June and I's glance. "Set up another meeting, I guess. We're all going to dinner." 
"Sounds like a plan. See you soon." 
And we left again. We had to get dinner before Ben and June met with Kerang Magazine. "At least we know who is interviewing us." Ben saw saying as we got sat down at Texas Roadhouse. "Jade has always been polite." 
Jade Quinn, I've met her before, she's interviewed Black Veil Brides many times in the past. She was the younger sister of Kellin Quinn, who was the lead singer of Sleeping with Sirens. "Yeah," I say as I tear a roll apart and squish the pieces between my fingers. "She'll be sensitive about the situation." 
"Speaking of the situation at hand," June says as she reaches over and hands me another roll. "Are we really gonna let Denis in?" 
"Why shouldn't we?" 
I finally push away my plate of ruined dinner rolls. "Uhh," I start sarcastically. "Because he's ditched so many bands over the years that he's called Denis 'the ditch' Stoff." 
"By who?" James asks, smiling as I square my shoulder back in an attempt to look taller. 
"By me, and I think it's a good one." 
Ben chuckles as he reaches over the table to ruffle my hair. "We'll give him a chance, okay? This band is all about giving second chances, Lord knows we need them." 
Dawn looks up from her food and raises an eyebrow-damn another one-as she looks at him. "And if it bites us in the ass?" 
"Then we'll deal with it." Ben says. His confidence seems to spread to the rest of us because one by one, we nod and smile. Ben was right, we'd deal with it, just like how we just dealt with Danny leaving.
"Together." I say, smiling as I put a fist into the middle of the table. "As a family." 
"A really dysfunctional mess of a family." June says as she touches my fist with hers. "But a family nonetheless." 
The others join their hands in. Yes, we were a very messed up and dysfunctional family, but they were my crazy, messed up, dysfunctional family. And I wouldn't have it any other way. 
+++
That night, Cam and I lay in bed, watching more Star Wars. He was running his fingers through my hair, but it wasn't making me feel tired. My brain was working over time in making me stay awake. "Hey, Cam?" 
"Yeah?" 
"Do you think we'll make it through this?" 
"Yeah, Ella. I think we'll make it through anything." 
I raise my head to look at him. "Promise?" 
He smiles as he reaches up to brush my hair behind my ear and cups my cheek. Cam gives me his ever present kind and gentle, loving smile. "Promise. It's you and me against the world, remember?" 
"Yeah." I smile as I lean my cheek against his hand. "You and me against the world." 
I really do feel like I can handle anything in the whole wide world as long as I had him in my life and by my side. "You're the best, you know that?" I say as I lay my head back down against his chest. 
"Yeah, I think I've been told once or twice." He says with a chuckle. He kisses my temple as I pull the blankets back over us. I could stay like this forever with him. In his arms, with his lips on my skin, his lips on mine, his voice whispering sweet things to me. I want him in every way humanly possible for the rest of forever. 
"Hey, Cam?" 
"Yeah?" 
"Umm.." I burry my face in his neck as his cheeks get very warm. I've had sex before, I don't know why I was suddenly so embarrassed by asking. Maybe because this time the person I'd be sleeping with means more to me than almost everything. "What if I wanted to sleep... with you?" 
"I'd ask if you're really sure you're ready." I can hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. God, I love the sound of his voice when he starts to get turned on. The way it gets deeper sends a shiver down my spine. 
"And I'd say that I'm sure I'm read." 
He carefully turns us over, laying me on my back and hovers over me. "You sure?" 
I nod, smiling as I look up at him. "I'm sure, Cam. I'm ready and I want you."