Pricked

9

His car pulls up in front of the stone steps way faster than should be expected. I walk over, but he's out of the car, opening the door before I can beat him to it. He throws the door shut, and I feel the car shake in my seat. As I buckle my seatbelt I worry that this was a mistake. He slams his door shut as he gets in, and I know he's pissed. I feel it in how he revs the engine of the car and see it in the set of his jaw. The car starts and we rip out of the roundabout, and I try to sink into the leather car seat.

I realize that we are not on the way home. I glance over at Namjoon and see him, white-knuckled, steering the car as it zips down a back road. I let out a shaky breath and he glances over at me, and his narrowed eyes soften. I recognized his expression, but couldn't pinpoint it yet.

I watched his shoulders rise and fall as he watched the road, and heard a soft but gruff 'Are you ok?'

"Hmm?" thinking I may be hearing things.

"I was so frustrated with Jungkook, I didn't realize you must be too."
"Oh." The small sound hung in the air for a moment.

"What?" He finally asked.

"Nothing. I didn't even think to be angry with him."

"Why's that?" He shot back, and I see his grip tighten on the wheel.

"He just made some good points. I'm being selfish, he shouldn't have to put up with it."

"He also abandoned you at a church you didn't know the address of. He's young and angry at the world, he shouldn't take that out on you." He rests one elbow on the glove box now, relaxing. I bristle at what he's saying though.

"I'm also trying to hold onto something I know is hurting him! I'm ignoring the pain I'm causing him, isn't that awful? I don't even have a good excuse. I don't love him."

We stop so hard that my seatbelt strains to keep me in place. I look, wide-eyed, over at Namjoon who is already staring at me. I realize his hand is pinning me to the seat, not my seat belt.

'I- I'm sorry I saw a dog or, or something." He seems so disheveled I can't pry my eyes away from his odd expression.

"It's fine," I mumble, and we sit there like that for a moment. His palm must feel my heart hammering away, but he doesn't react to it. He finally looks back to the road, and starts driving again, slower, and resting his right hand on the wheel again.

"I think everyone deserves selfishness every now and then. Luna's break could be considered selfish, but in the end, that is what brought us all this," he says quietly, slowly, thoughtfully I realize.

"I just realize he doesn't deserve this. His soulmate doesn't either. I've set up lots of people for a lot of heartbreak Namjoon. I've had my selfishness, and it needs to end here."

"What do you define as your fault?" He asks as we pull into our driveway.

"Everything I could have prevented," I say, after lots of deliberation. I rush to unbuckle my seatbelt, just wanting to escape his scrutiny.

I jog up the path to our door, but as I push it open, he pulls it closed, trapping me in front of him.

"When would you like me to be back, to drop you off at school tomorrow?"

"Oh." I have a hard time collecting my thoughts, as I feel the heat on my back, which I know is radiating off of him. "My school starts at like... 7:30, no 8:30. SO we should leave at 8:10, but I can walk it's-"

"The car will be here at 8:10. I'll drive you."

He lets go of the handle, and I make a beeline for the room, desperately needing to update Yoongi.

Shutting my door softly, I then hop on the bed and click his name on speed dial.

He answers on the second ring and I thank god silently, that I don't have to hold this in for long.
"One moment, I need to take notes." I hear things rustle around on the other side of the line and wait anxiously to pour my whole day out, to some stranger.

"So I talked to Jungkook right." I finally started.

"Which one's that?" He interjects quickly. Jeez.

"The ex-boyfriend," I reply and launch into my recap. "So he was going to get me, but I was watching a movie with Namjoon, and then Jungkook was just there, and I had to pick between them, and I just, I picked Jungkook, and I thought Namjoon would hate me for it, when Jungkook abandoned me at a church Namjoon didn't care I left him he just drove by, but he was also so cold,"

"Jungkook did what?" Yoongi asks, trying to catch up.

"He told me I was being selfish and left me at a church, and Namjoon had to come to get me."

"Ok. Keep going."

And just like that I recapped the whole day, about 4 times, going into more details each time, as Yoongi struggled to understand everything. I heard the clicking of a keyboard, and as I droned on I felt more and more tired, and drained, and slowly, but surely, I fell asleep.

Bonus- Yoongi's current academic log

Components Mirella (A) and Namjoon (B) are verbalizing unusual feelings for both sides. Component B is entirely enamored with component A {from an observational standpoint. He does not admit, or fully understand that he has romantical feelings for component A, seeming to equate them with lust or enjoying "getting a rise out of her ''}. Meanwhile, component A is miserable with the current situation, missing her ex-boyfriend, and finding component B frustrating. She worries that he severely dislikes her. I will not be correcting her, for two reasons. I believe this should be kept authentic and organic. More importantly, this will make my case study wildly more interesting.