I havent wrote here for a while because i find it hard but I'm not coping,
We had our last christmas with dad,
We obviously had no idea it was our last with him,
We should have had more months, days, years,
If i had just 5 more minutes in life i would hug him and tell him thank you,
Thank you for always making me feel welcomed into the family,
Thank you for allowing me to stay all these years.
I would say if you happen to see mum, tell her we all miss her,
I would say I'm sorry for not visiting as much as i wanted to,
I would say well watch out for Irene and Ruby,
It was supposed to be the year you and Irene finally said I do,
And even though you didn't get to say it I will alaways class her as your wife married or not it doesnt matter,
No papers will say wether she's your wife or not only love decides that.
The fact that not even a year ago we had to say goodbye to Mum and now you, i will always ask why,
Why us,
why are we left without both Mum and Dad,
why does He get a say in who stays and who goes,
Why does he get to decide who will live and who will die,
why does he get to decide whos time it is or not,
why does he get to decides who deserves pain and who does not.
I hope one day my questions get answered because everyday more questions come but the answers never do,
I hope one day life will be full of answered questions instead of unanswered,
I hope one day the confusion won't be as bad as it has been in the last 8 to 9 months of my life.
