Deamonne

CHAPTER 1

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A chilling sensation devoured me. Was I even alive?

All of my senses became paralyzed. My brain was numb and I lost grip on every ounce of the reality I had been living in for the past twenty years. From my simple and loving friends back at the orphanage to my only friend in University who had been cheering me on at the race track, which was my dream, to this damp feeling as if I was lying in dirt. The championship that I was about to win. The silk ribbon that I was about to touch. Every memory was gone.

My heart came to a stop.

Did I win?

I didn't even know before dying.

An hour ago -

'You're going to win.' I imagined her glistening eyes with hope and encouragement but I couldn't look at them.

'Don't put too much hope in me. I might disappoint.' I didn't even try to meet Aaron's eyes while I tied my laces.

'No. Even if you don't win, I'll never be disappointed in you.' She sat down to look at me. The terror that I couldn't hide was easily visible to her because she knew me since forever. From what I could recall, we had always been together in the orphanage. We grew up together.

'What's the matter?' She gripped my hands lightly to have all of my attention. I often did that, dodged questions while pretending to be busy.

'Nothing.'

'Julia...is it...your heart again? Is it troubling you?' Her voice full of concern made me realise of my own fear I'd been trying to suppress.

I'd been living with the fear of death. There was always a 'what if' in my mind. What if one day I just collapse on the road and that would be the end of me? What if while I was in the shower, I feel the quenching pain in my chest and die, unable to call for help.

What if... I die today?

'It's not. I'm fine.' I stood up and withdrew my hands from hers.

It is said that you only fear death when your life is worth living and dear to you. As much as anyone would bet that I, for sure, am not afraid of death, I'd disagree. Yes, I had lived my life with various 'what ifs' but I had made memories and I wanted more. Moreover, I knew my life was not a waste just because I was going to die at an early age. It was for me to decide, whether I let my life be useless or make something out of it. I was not going to sit idle, knowing that my weak heart would some day give away. I had to make the best out of what little time I had.

I'd lived among caring nuns who had nurtured me and other kids like myself as our own mothers. It would've pained them had they known of my condition and felt helpless not being able to get me treated and that was the only reason why I hid it from them. There was nothing that could be done about it, about me.

There was no hope. And so, I created one. I had found something I wanted to succeed in. Athletics. Every time I was on the track, it was a race with death and I won countless times. Something about losing my breath to the point of collapsing and the sharp pain in my chest made me feel alive. I did it again and again unless I became an exceptional one. At beating death.

And through this journey, Aaron stood beside me. She was the only one who knew of my condition. And sometimes, her contagious worry made me regret my decision of telling her about it.

'Julia, don't.' She held my arm to stop me from walking towards the race track but I immediately pulled away,' Aaron.'

'Don't participate, please.' She begged with a terrified look on her face. I couldn't bare to argue when she looked like she was about to cry. I couldn't see her get hurt. But there was something I wanted to achieve.