The Weight of Love

Chapter 21

The clock ticked toward three on Friday afternoon. Lila sat at her bedroom vanity selecting products to bring to the library. She knew better than to apply her makeup before she left the house, because her mother would see and ask her why in the world she had done herself up for a casual night in with Emily.

She was getting tired of lying. But she didn't see another way, at least not while she still lived beneath Robert's roof. Backpack packed with makeup bag and dress still in its box crammed into the largest pocket, she headed downstairs.

"I'm headed to Emily's," she said to her mother in the kitchen, fighting to keep her voice level. "I'll be back by ten, like we agreed."

"Oh, about that." Her mother pursed her lips at her. "Robert would really prefer it if you were home by nine. I know I told you ten, but..."

"Nine thirty then," Lila snapped, and turned on her heel toward the door.

Her mother's voice followed her.

"Do you want a ride, honey?"

"No, I want to walk!" Lila called.

She stepped outside and shut the door behind her and took a deep breath of warm summer afternoon air. A month. It had been a month, to the day, since the night when Cameron had first taken her out to drive. She imagined his car up in the drive. The white Mercedes, this thing of dreams. To think he'd let her, a practical stranger to him, drive it in circles around an empty lot in the twilight. It was a love story, a real love story.

She set off in the direction of the library.

When she arrived, she went to the study room she'd reserved for that time and set about applying her makeup with trembling hands. She would have gone for a garden variety look despite the occasion, except she was constantly reminded of the last time she'd put on makeup for Cameron. All had been well until his goddess of an ex had showed up next to him, looking as if she'd just come out of an hours-long session with a professional stylist. For all Lila knew, she had. She powdered herself with a vengeance, desperately wishing that Tori had been there. Tori was a magician with a makeup brush, and she would have known exactly the right look for a fancy party.

It was four fifteen by the time Lila finished, and she headed to the bathroom to change into her evening dress in one of the stalls. A couple teenage girls, younger than her, were chatting at the mirror when she went in. They fell silent as she walked by, but resumed their chatter, albeit in lowered voices, as soon as she had locked herself into the large handicapped stall at the end of the row.

"She goes to the high school, right?" Lila heard one of them whisper.

"Went. She graduated, I think. God, she looks different. Did you see how much makeup she has caked on? I guess no one told her the natural look is in vogue."

Giggling, they went out, the door swinging shut behind them. Lila stood in the stall, fighting tears. No one had told her. No one was there to tell her. Emily, her second-best option, had left two hours ago for her camping trip. She ducked out of the stall and hastily washed off everything she'd spent the past hour carefully applying, then took the five minute approach. Eye shadow. Mascara. Blush. Lip gloss.

Then she stepped into the lavender dress and zipped it up the side. Four twenty-five. She'd finished with minutes to spare. She gathered her things quickly and stuffed them back into her backpack. Thankfully, no one else had come into the bathroom while she'd changed, and she was able to slip out through the back door of the library largely unnoticed by the staff.

Cameron's Mercedes, its windshield repaired, was already sitting in the back loop. He was standing outside in a navy blue tux, leaning against its nose and scrolling through his phone.