Notebook [Book One]

Ten

The wait was killing him.

Aiden fidgeted and squirmed in his seat as he stared at the coffee opposite him, still waiting for its owner to arrive. He felt sick whenever he looked at the time on his phone or searched for a message saying Nathan wasn't coming.

His throat was thick and dry from the tension. Tapping against the table made his fingers throb, but it was preferable to pulling and picking at the ugly marks on his hands.

Aiden didn't mean to make it that bad. He was so anxious, pinching the tight skin across his hands was subconscious. He only knew he was doing it when it started hurting, and his brain screamed to stop.

The boy wasn't sure how much longer he could hold out.

The coffee shop was quieter on a weekday, so Aiden had a clear view of the doorway every time someone walked in. Each time movement caught his eye, he would look up in dread, but it wasn't the person he was looking for.

Nathan didn't specify a time on his note, so Aiden might have been early. Or too late?

He'd text the older boy to say he'd arrived but heard nothing.

Usually, the pair would meet outside the shopping centre and walk in together, but the heavens opened as Aiden walked through the streets, so he had to come straight inside.

Maybe it was a sign of what was coming.

Aiden couldn't tell if time was passing slower as he rolled his drink in his hands, but he felt like he'd waited for hours.

When he looked up again, the pink-haired boy gulped as he spotted the white-haired boy walking through the door.

He pulled down the hood of his jacket and flicked back his saturated hair in one swift movement, making Aiden's entire world shudder.

How could such an innocent move become so attractive?

Why did his heart thud when the boy's wet bangs fell in long strands across his eyes?

Aiden was going to throw up. He wasn't ready for this.

Despite the hard, determined look on his face, Nathan's approach felt slow. The boy looked cold. His face gave away no emotion, no feeling as he passed the counter, purposely ignoring Halle as she tried to catch his attention. He wasn't in the mood to placate her obsession with him today.

When the older boy reached the table, he glanced at the two coffees, immediately irritated.

Aiden had bought the boy his coffee, which was their standard behaviour, but he'd placed it on the other side of the table. That wasn't normal.

They never sat across from one another. Sitting next to each other made it easier to communicate. Nathan didn't have to keep sliding his notebook across the table during conversations, and Aiden didn't have to strain his neck looking over.

It was just another form of rejection. The younger boy was distancing himself further.

Shrugging off his backpack, the older boy pulled out his notebook and pen, dropping them on the table and dumping his bag on the floor. He slumped down into the seat, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at the table.

He was furious.

Aiden understood why; he hadn't given Nathan any explanation for why he was avoiding him.

They went from hanging out every single day, whenever there was a chance to nothing, from following each other around like sheep to not communicating at all.

The pink-haired boy pushed him away for no reason.

And Aiden knew that was the worst thing he could. He didn't want to hurt him, but he was terrified of the feelings Nathan incited in him.