Red heart, blue soul.

5. Even when I break your heart

Qualy day was one of the most frenetic days. Everyone was all over the place, you could feel the tension and the silence could be cut with a knife. Max was the fastest man yesterday and on today's third practice session. We had a better car than last year, which wasn't difficult to be honest. Charles was confidence we could do great today, and challenge Red Bull, Carlos was still adapting to the car, but he was fast anyway. You could feel it, everyone on the team could feel it, this year was the year, I really hoped it was at least.

Today I had a plan. I was going to confront Max, we needed to have a conversation. About everything. That dance, and those messages later made something clear to me, the feeling was still there, from both sides I hoped. No more running, no more hiding and no more avoiding. We were adults, and talking doesn't have to meant something, right?

But there was this thing, Charles. He was confusing me. A lot. Since yesterday, we haven't shared a word, but he looked my way. All the time. I could feel him. And I was uncomfortable, to be honest. We were cool. But I didn't want things to get complicated between us, it will bring unnecessary tension to the team in a very important year. I liked Charles, and he was the type of guy that every girl in the universe could fall for. Gentle, kind, intelligent, funny, handsome, but right now for me, it was complicated. I needed to find a way of telling him this without hurting our friendship. 

I finally found a moment to talk with Charles. It was the "calm before the storm" moment. He was preparing to jump into the car. Not the perfect moment to have a serious conversation.

— How are you feeling? Are you confidence? Will you take the pole position today, Charles? — I joke while pretending I was interviewing him. He smiled.

— I'm always confidence. — I rolled my eyes and grabbed red headphones, so I could hear the team communications while the session was ahead. Charles was putting on his helmet while looking my way. 

— Good luck Charles, I'm... — He grabbed my arm before I could go. He looked at me, like he had yesterday when we were in his room. Something changed yesterday, anyone could feel it. They way he tried and catch my eyes and I tried to avoid the green greeting me.

— No kiss of good luck? — He whispered. Oh my god his voice, he gave me goosebumps all over my body. I was fully aware of his hand still in my arm, the heat of it. He laughed softly. — I'm okay without it, for now —He winked or tried to because he didn't know how to wink, I laughed while he jumped into the car. I went to the other side of the garage while Carlos was already in the car, so I got to the cockpit level where he could see me.

— How are you feeling? First qualy in a Ferrari, this is something big.

— Dream come true, Noah. — His smiled was so full, you could see it in his eyes, he was happy. — Hablando de todo, ¿qué pasa contigo y Charles? Él no habla de nada, todavia no hemos llegado a ese punto, necesitamos dos carreras más. (Speaking of everything, what's up with you and Charles? He doesn't speak about it, we are not there yet on our relationship, we need two more races)— I laugh.

— There is nothing really Carlos, seriously. Now focus on the important things, cotilla. (Gossip boy). 

I'm always anxious when qualy starts. Max was fastest in Q1, Charles was giving good feedback of the balance in the car, Carlos was struggling a little bit with the tires, but we think we could solve it before Q2. And we did because he got fastest and Q2, he was so calm on the radio while I couldn't handle myself in the garage. Just one more guys. Five minutes in Q3, Charles spoke on the radio.

— How much faster was Max in the first sector?

— Two tenths. Mostly in the first corners.