Magnolia || Colin Bridgerton

12.drawing room window

Reading over Daphne's letter for what must have been the hundredth I wished I a could read my own words. Had I said I loved Colin? With the soft light from my fireplace I was able to see the now wilted and dead flowers he had gifted me on his visits. Ginny had asked me on multiple occasions if I would like them removed but I simply shook my head no. I hadn't been able to speak a word since I stopped crying, but it fit with the energy that was now a constant in my home. Though I knew they needed to be disposed of I could not bring myself to part with them.

The decaying blossoms reminded me that everything between us had occurred. The anger, laughter, squabbling, smiles, and dances.

Did I love Colin?

I tried to focus on the thought of him to define any strong emotions that came to mind. His contagious smile that hardly seemed to leave his face, and the soft laughs that fell from it. His insistence to dance with me at least once at every social event even long before we were officially courting. How he showed a true kindness he to each person he met, even if they weren't always deserving. The way his face lit up as he spoke of the places he read about, and his passion for travel generally. The feeling of his arms wrapped tightly around me at the death of each of my parents, as if he was the one holding me to this earth.

As if summoned by my thoughts I began to hear a light tapping from outside my window. For a moment I wished it to just be the weather, a drizzle turning into a full rain. Then as I watched a pebble bounce off the glass pane that wish died. I made my way over to the window to find Colin in the yard below looking up at me. He waved to motion me down and I returned the gesture with a small nod before tiptoeing through my home. He stood next to the door waiting for me when I finally joined him in the yard. His figure mostly shadowed by the darkness of the night.

"I'm sorry to disturb you but I needed to ensure you were well after everything," He spoke and I was unsure if it was the chill of the nights air or his voice that sent a shiver down my spine. Though he was close to me I fixated my eyes on the figure of a small tree in the distance, unable to meet his eyes. I gave a small nod to ensure him I was doing as well as I could be. He let out a small sigh, his head falling before he spoke again.

"I've tried to call on you since then, but was always turned away. You must know I didn't agree with Anthony's decision. In fact we have argued the matter the entire week but it seems he can not be swayed."

I nodded again and felt Colin stiffen slightly.

"Maggie," He hesitated briefly, "I am leaving."

My eyes suddenly shot to his face but now he was the one fixating on anything but me. I felt my mind start to move faster than I could comprehend. I desperately tried to keep to keep up with my thoughts as words began to spill from my mouth.

"When? Where? Why?"

"I fear there may be nothing here for me now, so in two weeks time I will leave. My mother is insisting I wait until my sister's party at the end of the season. I will start in Scotland but I am unsure where my travels will take me exactly."

My thoughts continued to spiral at his words. How could I do quickly lose Daphne, my father, and now Colin? Even if we were no longer courting and were to never speak again the thought of him being just a few steps away from my home had brought me some comfort. It wasn't until Colin looked down at me that I felt myself begin to calm, feeling my troubles melt into the sea of blue in his eyes.

"Will you write me?"

The smile I had just been trying to imagine in my room was now present before me, holding more comfort and joy than my mind was capable of emulating.

"Of course, if you wish me to that is."

"Well that is the reason I asked," I laughed.

It sounded almost foreign coming out of me after just over a week of silence. I tried to remember the day I had promenaded with Colin and my brother through Groveser Square. The afternoon that had been full of laughter from each of us now seemed a lifetime away.

"Of course, I simply meant—"

"Colin," I interrupted him before bringing him into a tight hug, "I shall want to hear every detail of your travels, write to me of each step you take. It'll be the only thing to ease the pain of your absence."

Without hesitation Colin wrapped his arms around me, matching my tight grip as he rested his chin upon my head. In that moment I realize it truly was Colin Bridgerton who held me to this world and I knew what I had wrote. I was in love with Colin Bridgerton. And he was leaving.

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

The morning of which Colin was set to leave I found myself sat in the drawing room window, praying I could catch even a glance of him as he departed. I had debated telling him my feelings in the garden that night but knew it would only make matters more difficult. He longed to travel as he was going to now and did not need something as simple as my feelings to tie him to London. I had attempted to begin reading a book on Scotland I found in what was now Elliot's study so I could know what Colin was writing about when his letters began to come.

The book seemed pointless now as I held it in my lap unable to remove my eyes from the streets of the town below. Watching the passing carriage my heart tightened as I realized not one of them belonged to the Bridgertons.

"Miss Magnolia?"

Ginny's voice pulled my attention away from the glass. She stood shyly in the door to the drawing room, a bouquet of red roses held delicately in her hands.

"These arrived for you," She said offering the bouquet out to me.

I rushed from my seat to her and carefully took them from her, a small card falling as I did so. I picked it up and muttered a thank you before returning to my seat. I peered out the window quickly and after ensuring Colin wasn't in sight I turned my focus to the card.

Know that you are with me always, in my thoughts as well as my heart.

Your Colin.

I felt a smile form on my face as I held the card to my chest before returning my gaze to the scenery outside. Just below my house there was a man sitting on a horse looking back up at me. My smile grew wider as he sent me a small nod before carrying on riding.

My Colin.