My Favourite Dream

21. The Starry Night.

Taran's POV

I couldn't sleep properly. Mom and I came back home, around 5 in the morning after the rukhsati and even after being so tired, I wasn't able to sleep. I was drowned in the thoughts of what happened between me and Parineet, why it happened, why we were so tensed in each other's company when everything was absolutely alright between us a day back. I was puzzled for I couldn't understand her behaviour yesterday. Why was she behaving the way she did? She looked angry, at one moment and then the other, she seemed confused, caught up with her own emotions. At one point of time, she felt distant, as if she wanted to maintain her distance from me. I know I was also reclusive of her, I didn't initiate conversations either but I have a valid reason for that. It was Shikha. As soon as she came, her father proudly exclaimed about our dating. He was happy, Shikha too while I wasn't. How could I when I have no interest in her? Even when I am trying to be sweet with her, it doesn't feel nice. I constantly feel that I am cheating on Pari and on my feelings for her. Now I feel that atleast I should have confessed my love for her, rather than straight away accepting Shikha's proposal. I agree that I made a hasty decision by doing so, and now I regret it already. It's been only two weeks with her, and my situation is worse than I expected. I went on two dates with Shikha, somehow, managing my time in between hospital and Ayaan's marriage rituals and nothing interested me. Shikha is very calculative and practical. She talks of a future which is well planned and umm.. mechanical? There is no love in it, no dreams, no hopes. She has set me so free that she doesn't expect anything from me, nor does she promises to give her inputs. She talks of some ideal relationship, which nor I haven't witnessed neither I have heard of. Our ideas about marriage are different. Thanks to the ring ceremony and other functions that I got to see Pari. I had missed her way too much, all this time, though she was there only. On seeing her, dancing her heart out with Zainab in yellow chikankari suit, her relishing the rasmalai ever so sweetly, like a child, her helping aunty with the chores like a dutiful daughter my heart swelled with happiness and I have begun to understand what she is to me.
Parineet is made up of dreams and colours, she brings rainbow with her and makes me smile wide. She makes me feel emotions so better that I crave them more. Her innocent laughter, her meaningful gaze and that special attention she gives me in front of so many people, without a second thought, makes my heart beat faster. But at the same time, I don't want to impose my feelings on her, I never wanted her to feel the baggage of my confession over her soul which had healed recently. Maybe that is why I never said it to her that I love her. She has seen a lot in life - infidelity, fragile relationships, emotional blackmailing, depression, loneliness, what not! I will not be surprised if she starts judging, doubting people around her, who claim to love her. Neither do I want her to reciprocate my emotions under any pressure because that is also one possibility, as the perks of being his special friend she might not like to hurt me, nor I want to spoil our bond, which she enjoys the most. I am doing all this for her, but the strong urge to tell her everything is also there. During the wedding festivities, we spent a good deal of time, together and I truly had the best time of my life. With Pari, I don't realize how fast time flies, and how happy I become. I love this feeling.

Tonight is the Waleema ie. Reception of Zainab and Ayaan. Mom isn't coming with me for she is tired and her blood pressure is low. Ayaan was sad about her not attending the function but he understands. I can't believe that Ayaan is married, at the same time I am extremely happy for him. At least my best friend is lucky with his love life. He is married to the girl, he loves so madly. Zainab has changed this mad man into a sane one. They are a perfect match. When, while sitting in the car, she was crying last night, I cracked so many bizarre jokes to make her laugh and luckily she did. I love both of them with all my heart and I wish the best for them.

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Ayaan's family had arranged a grand reception party. With the touch of royalty, the arrangements were all modern and simple. There's so much pomp and splendor that my eyes grew wide in amazement, and all this accounts for the happy energy people have brought here.
Zainab and Ayaan were looking gorgeous, in deep red long gown and cream coloured branded sherwani respectively. They were looking no less than a Bollywood couple. One can't easily take his/her eyes off them.