TRUST

BUT WHY?

It's a very windy day, I was trying to avoid the preparing storm. Nne was already calling me and I couldn't pick any longer, I was avoiding giving her a lie.

I was feeling so frustrated - we had just moved back to the village after a very terrible ordeal my Dad had in the city. Never did I imagine that this will be me; struggling in the village local market admist the muddy waters trying to navigate my way through the market sellers and buyers...... "Oh Lord, where did we miss it? Please have mercy on us."

The soft voice - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths" Proverbs 3:5-6

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." - Romans 8:28

The thunder strike brought me back to reality, as I reached for my bag to get my phone only to realize it wasn't there. 'Ha! No no no, Ora no this isn't happening. Not again!' The rain had started sprinkling down as if to usher in my own tears. I really felt weak as I stood in the middle of the road feeling dejected, worn out and pained.

"My color, puta n'uzo." A passerby beckoned. Honestly, these traders just have their own, argh! I honestly wanted to shout "First, I'm not your color, secondly leave me alone" but in my heart I could feel the nugging of the Holy Spirit to stay calm.
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."Ephesians 4:2

I dragged myself out, put a fake smile and said, "Thank you" then went to hide from the rain while I let the premium tears roll down without apology and dignity.

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." - 1 These 5:18

Thankful? Hmmmm..... And with that I broke down in tears. Is this a way of humbling me? My mind began to drift back - my life in the city 'Ora asanwa', as I was nicknamed by all. The lady with the flawless golden skin who had everything going for her. I recalled moments when our driver would drop me off- is this a Grace to Grass moment?

But why? She internally asked, not expecting an answer and not directing it at anyone.

"I'm sorry Lord for everything, I truly am, I didn't mean to commit all those sins. Forgive me for everything - my shortcomings. Every known and unknown sin. Lord please restore my Dad. This is too much" Ora cried bitterly.