A New Life.

"Why am I here?"

[AUTHORS NOTE!!!! I may make a lot of spelling mistakes so please PLEASE tell me if I do make mistakes and yes I may lose motivation so if you do want more please tell me!]

8/12/2013
Day 1: in an orphanage, you have to follow a schedule, a rather, strict one to say the least. Well my name is Tom, Tom Simons, but I hate that name. I hate it a lot. So I just go by Tommy because of the kids here I guess. God I shouldn't even be here, I don't even want to be here because of how annoying these kids are. I'm to cool for them. I'm too cool for you either!

But as always, I have a therapist, this is my 5th one because of the other ones I messed up and made them quit, Hah! What a bunch of wimps! But..my current one, I think her name is Niki? No clue she told me to just call her that. But anyways, she told me to write down my thoughts and what I feel everyday. I don't know she thinks this might help? What a weirdo..but anyways.

My age? Niki wants me to write down my age apparently because she thinks that maybe one day someone will find this little journal and would want to know me??!! No thanks, that's just breaking into privacy I'll keep this journey until my last breathe. Isn't that so poetic of me? But whatever I might forget my age in this gross place, but I'm 13 at the moment so, I don't know I don't really have any good memories, not that I know of..but yeah I guess. I don't know anymore. They think they can make me feel better just by finding me a nice home? I don't have a home. Each time I go away from this place, and you do one mess up, your here again. I lost count how homes I've been in after the number 5.

I hate how this place stinks. Stinks like underwear and gross and sweaty 5 year olds. I've been here since I have 4 though, can't judge I don't recall who dropped me off here or who my biological parents were but my life is TERRIBLE here. I hate the way this place stinks I hate the way there's clothes everywhere in the room I share with people I hate the way that these kids snore at night so I can't sleep I hate the way I have to share a bathroom I just hate everything here and I hate that I might just lose my sanity here because of the kids. I know I'm suppose to enjoy it here but I just might escape this place because of how ass it is to me. I hate it god just let me out of here NOW.

What I look like you maybe asking? Well I maybe the most handsome guy you've ever seen before! I'm so poetic in my writing and I look like I'm the age of a 20 year old man!!! I'm so strong I have the biggest muscles that anyone could
See and if you just look at me you might just pass out. Though I'm surprised everyone looks away from me, maybe it's because of how amazing I look, I have blonde hair and amazing blue eyes like the best of the best no one could ever out match my beautiful eyes they are just too good to look at because of how amazing they are.
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"Ow.", Tommy said in a response to a child pulling his hair as they ate, Tommy was just sitting there eating his food silent. Before he was in his 5th home, he was all happy from before even when he was returned after the 4th home he was so energetic so excited and happy and playful and was just like a sun. But yet, after his 5th home he went all silent. The guardians just said that they didn't do anything and was surprised that Tommy went silent, though when they tried to ask Tommy why he went silent no one got an answer, not even his own therapist. Which was very, weird..he mostly stayed inside his room instead of playing with the others outside not even coming out when supper was made having the care takers there forcing him to eat, it was weird, Tommy didn't look like he was starving he was well fed when he was brought back after his 5th home, why was he all of a sudden acting this way?
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"LET GO OF ME!"
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"Stop moving your only making things worse."
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"I HATE YOU!!!!"
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"Tommy? Tommy? Are you listening? I can't communicate with you if you don't listen or look at least look at me.", Niki had asked looking at Tommy staring right into his eyes as his eyes were looking to the side not wanting to make direct contact. Tommy was silent, the room fell silent, Niki had middle length hair which was pink, the color looked as if it were pale and had look like it was fading as she was sitting in front of Tommy in a chair, Tommy who was only 12 at the time was just sitting there as he sitting as if he were a ball. He didn't want to talk to anyone, not even his own therapist as the clock ticked over, and over again making that annoying clicking noises each time the small hand had passed.
The room was full of children toys, with a teal-bluish color on the walls with a little toy train with multiple animals just circling around the room, a tiny table where a stack of papers were with a packet full of crayons.
The room smelled like freshly picked dandelions, Nikis favorite smell.
Niki took a deep sigh as she looked at the clock at the wall before looking at Tommy as she stood up from her chair as it made a creek with it.
"Well Tommy, this is all the time we have today, I hope you can at least communicate with me tomorrow?", Niki had asked a soft smile forming on her lips just looking down at the small boy.
Tommy, had slowly gotten up from the chair standing in front of Niki before he mumbled something, a mumble that Niki couldn't hear as she looked a bit confused.
"What was that you said Tommy?", Niki had asked.
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"Why am I here?"