PASSIVE SINNER | KTH ff ||

• Part 21 - TRUST •

Taehyung: I am..

You held your breath.

Taehyung: The son of a mafia.

You looked at him with wide eyes. He broke the eye contact and looked down. He couldn't take it. He let all of it get a hold of him. He was crying.   Something he thought he had forgotten doing years and years back. He let the tears stream down. He let his head fall on the frame of the bed. Suddenly, he felt warm hands get hold of his. He looked up at you, the one whose eyes showed the feelings muddling up in her. You rubbed his hand on your cheek, making some more tears drop. He let out a sob. You rubbed the back of his hand with your thumbs, suggesting him to let it out. He swallowed hard and looked you in the eye.

Taehyung: I-I'm going to tell you everything.

Y/n : Anything you want. I'm here.

You couldn't care less about the awkward position you both were in.

Yet he shifted away and rested his back on a wall. You gathered yourself. He held his knees close. He wiped his face vigorously. He took steady breaths. You waited, staring at his face. And in a few minutes, he spoke.

Taehyung: I- Since I was a child, I was surrounded by people who exploited, harmed. So naturally it came to me that it's the only way to live. I was told so every moment. I was a perfect guinea pig for him.

He chuckled bitterly, and closed his eyes. Your grip over his hands tightened involuntarily. He sighed and shook his head. He really shouldn't have so much hate , it would burn him down. He thought. Always. But it wouldn't help.

Taehyung : I was arrogant and I don't remember being childish at all. I matured too soon. I had grown wits. I learned his ways. I lived just as he pleased. But one day, when I turned eleven..

He had gotten into some case of smuggling, and he ordered me to kidnap and get him the daughter of some official.

I gladly went, rather proud to have been assigned to something so important. I got into that girl's room skillfully. She looked at me, but didn't move a muscle. Instead she looked me in the eye. And I felt the trust, as if she knew I wouldn't hurt her. And I couldn't. I left.

Taehyung: She was almost my age.. now that I think of it. I was arrested and questioned for it. But was released since I was too young. But that's when I got to know the real world "outside". I felt awful about myself. I stopped following his orders, doing anything as he said. But then... He started harassing me.

He shut his eyes and took a sharp breath, only to let it out in a sigh. You noticed his uneven breathing and held his hand the way you did that night at the stream. You didn't like that it was the only thing you could do to ease him at the moment.

Taehyung: Every day he would come home and beat me with anything and everything he had...

You weren't able to stop yourself from imagining what all a mafia might have with him. You stared blankly in disbelief.

Taehyung: He would curse at me. Call me useless and whatnot. I hoped for something to happen, for someone to save me. My mom would just watch him vent out his anger on me. I couldn't understand, none of it made sense. I didn't know where I went wrong. So in the end , I gave up. And let him do as he pleased till he would get bored in the end, or till my body gave up.

A tear unknowingly dropped down your cheek and your throat closed. But you held him tight.

Taehyung: But he never did, neither did I. I kept quiet and endured it. I endured all the bullcrap for years!

You pulled him in a hug, not questioning anything. He rested his head in the crook of your neck and wrapped his hands arround you. All of his memories, made him shiver like a child again. You let him wet his own scarf and pushed back all the doubts arising in your head and the knots tightening in your stomach at his breath burning against your skin. You stayed like that for a while. "He smells nice."

He pulled back.

Taehyung: Then one day , grandma vanished. My only support. Who loved me. I searched for her, but there was no trace at all. I was lost. Everything felt like a burden, existing just to smother me even more.

You stoked his arm and back, hoping to calm him. But you took in all the words that he blurted out. You felt it.

Taehyung: I tried ending it.. many times. But then I don't know what came over me. Some sense. Yes. And I decided I was not going to take it anymore.

A pause.

Taehyung: I ran away.

-

A/n : I'm sorry for not uploading for a month and leaving y'all on such a cliffhanger.

I had a horrible writers block. It was kinda frustrating to not be able to write the most anticipated, by both you readers and me. And so I got lazy and didn't find any inspiration to write for a while. Till I realised some stuff.

And sorry for the short chap, but I'm on it. I promise.

But yes. It's here. THIS IS IT.

*apologies first*

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1K READS!!!
I LOVE Y'ALL SO SO SO SO SO SO SOOOO MUCH.
I NEVER IMAGINED EVEN GETTING THIS FAR.
Thank you for everyone who has been supporting me in person, and silently. I am really very greatful to y'all.

Love you lots and lots and lots.
Have a great day!!
Sending lub♡