𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘀 ✎ 𝙗𝙨𝙙✘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨

𝟬𝟬𝟯

She isn't mine, and I know it. Her heart belongs to another, and I know that too. Her head is filled with thoughts of him, while mine is filled with her. 

I wish I could delude myself into thinking it's just in my head that I am overthinking her every action because I love her. But I know it's all true. Her heart beats so loud when she is near him. I can hear how fast her blood rushes through her veins. 

All of it makes me sick. 

The worst part of this is that Tetchou is the one she loves. I hate that guy. I wish nothing more than to rip him apart. I want to make him suffer, but I know that killing him isn't the way. The only way for him to suffer is by losing her. 

I'm following them in the shadows as they walk together to her place. They're all touchy with each other, and I can't stand it. I am a mere second away from sneaking up on him and killing him.

It doesn't take them—us—to reach her place. Thankfully she doesn't invite him inside, but she does kiss him. 

I distance myself to an alley and deactivate my ability. Once I am whole again, I fall to my knees. My stomach hurts. I want to throw up so bad. Jealousy is killing me, and had I stayed there for a moment longer, I'd kill him. 

She would hate me if I did, and I would ruin any chance I had with her. It's hard controlling myself. 

I can hear them sweetly say each other goodbye, and now he's walking back home. And he has to go through this alley to do so. 

I grip the hilt of my sword. 

Can I? If I catch him off guard, I certainly can. Should I? I am not sure. But if I hesitate now, I ruin it all.

He steps into the alley. I flung toward him, but I wavered. And that gave him time to block my attack, although not completely. His body slams against the wall, his sword pushing mine away from his neck. 

"Why," he says. He barely gets the words out as he's using all his strength to stop me. I don't respond and only push my sword more if possible. 

Suddenly, his sword extends and curls downwards to my leg. I use my ability, although a little late. He managed to pierce my leg. If he hadn't aimed there and aimed for my neck instead, I would have been dead.

This is what I hate about him. He knows I tried to kill him, and he doesn't want to kill me before he tries to talk to me. 

I move to a safer distance and deactivate my ability. 

"I love her," I say, putting my sword into its sheath. I don't want to fight him. I know that my victory can't be guaranteed. And if I die, how can I love her?

He seems to understand. I imagine he has a blank expression. 

He sighs. "I see."  

Well, I don't. And sometimes I am glad I can't. Maybe his expression changed to a pitful look meant for me, and I'd hate to see that. 

"If you talked before acting, maybe I would have helped you as I don't have any feelings for her," he says, and I am genuinely surprised, "but seeing how horrible of a person you are. I can't let her be with you."

Of course. This guy could never understand. He can't understand what's it like to want someone you know can't be yours. She loves him, and he's throwing her love away.

"You're a person who would neglect her happiness for your own. You're too jealous for your own good and hers."

I don't move. I can't. I hate how I agree with him. 

He is gone, yet I don't remember when he left. 

Just as I don't remember how I hurt myself this badly. So bad that I feel like I'm losing consciousness. As well as too much blood. 

I may be dying. I am not sure yet. I am thinking of her, and I'm more than glad that she's my last thought.