Chick Lit *ORIGINAL PILOT*

“Chick Lit”

INT: ELEMENTARY CLASSROOM- DAY

Children are sitting quietly in a circle, transfixed by something sitting at the head of the circle. You can’t tell whether they’re scared or amused or entertained. Slow-motion pan around each kid’s face. One child (ambiguous gender) has its finger up its nose, unmoving. Another is twirling her finger in her hair, but all eyes are glued to whatever is happening at the circle’s head.

Pan around to the head of the circle, where we see A MAN, mid-late 20’s, nicely dressed, handsome, sitting cross-legged with his chin resting on his palm, crying.

MAN

(Holding up a picture of a girl-- sob, shaky breath)…Asnd then, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I didn’t call to her; I couldn’t say what I felt. Not when she said she fancied me, not when she slapped me when she found me with her best friend Gina, and not every moment after that...

CHILD 1

Why would she do that??

CHILD 2

(boy, overalls and skinny)

You said it, girlfrannn’. That Gina is a hot mess.

CHILD 3

(nerdy, giant glasses)

Come on, you coot! It’s simple. Either you love her or you don’t. Well? Do you?

CHILD 1

Is it my turn for show and tell yet?? I brought in my mom’s special stickers!

(Holds up a box of feminine napkins, shakes it, and then excitedly looks inside)

OS, Interrupting:

Hold on. You’re saying the kids help him figure out that he loves her? And what child would bring in his mother’s Kotex for show and tell?

CUT TO:

INT: ANOTHER CLASSROOM—DAY

Classroom is empty aside from KATE TAYLOR, late 20’s, pretty and put together, AND PORTLY older friend, MARK (35+, male, chubby but not stereotypical gay friend—he’s straight)

KATE looks over to the corkboard, which is haphazardly COVERED in feminine products.

MARK

Oh.

KATE

What’s wrong with the kids helping him realize that he loves her? Some of my kids have tremendous insight!

FLASHBACK: KATE playing with the remote, trying to find the DVD channel for the in-class movie. CHILD 2 from before gets up, grabs REMOTE.

CHILD 2

No, Ms. Taylor, it’s input 3. Also, we’re all thinking it, so I’m just gonna say it… that shade of canary really washes you out.