Why (not) me? (BirdFlash)

Introduction

A/N; I feel like I should state this. In this fan fiction Dick is 19, making wally 22; since when they met, Dick was 13, Wally was sixteen, and all that. it's also important to note that this story only takes place a year after Jasons death (you know which one im referring to) so everyone has pretty much moved on for the most part except for Bruce. this fan fiction is obviously not meant to line up to canon.

"Maybe I'm just not enough..."

Dick sat silently out on the basketball court; he'd walked all this way just to throw some hoops. Sure, he could have just used the one Bruce had built for him two years ago but he really just didn't want to be there at the moment.

He had walked here, in his cheap sneakers he bought himself to show off his independence. when using the term 'cheap', it isn't meaning brands such as anko or shein, no, these shoes were from a gas station, with no brand, and started to fall apart after a week. Dick remembered feeling so proud of himself when he brought it, even called himself a bargain hunter for the first three days, when the soul started to come off he understood why everyone laughed at him for it.

Imagine having something you're so proud of, that seems so small to everyone else, but it's huge to you! only for you to feel like an idiot for having that feeling in no time at all?

That's how Dick felt when it came to Bruce. It wasn't the fact he had a rich dad; it was the fact he had one at all. of course this seemed tiny and if anything stuck up to a lot of others, but it was important to remember that Dick had come out of an orphanage. he had a father, and he used to be proud of it!

But it was the fact that over the years Dick came to resent Bruce. Just before he had walked 25km; it was probably the shortest 4 hours of his life though. It was already starting to get dark and the snow build up around the fence was incredible to dick. But ev en as he sat there, tired and alone, freezing in a short sleeved black shirt and grey sweatpants and sunglasses, he had zero regret going this way.

The adrenaline was the only thing keeping him warm, walking there in the cold wasn't smart but he was too angry to care at the time.

*4 hours ago*

Bruce was pretty relentless when it came to training, Dick knew that better than anyone else, but today in particular was worse.

it had been only a year since Jason died, of course everyone had been wracked by it and by extension, Dick moved back home to be by bruce. He hadn't moved to Bludhaven like he wanted to, instead he had been renting out a tiny apartment downtown taking care of petty crime, as he did spend a lot of energy on the team back at mount justice, but it was fine, he tried to at least get two meals in a day and 4 hours of sleep minimum- they key word being tried.

But after Dick moved in his training and missions with Bruce started up again; it wasn't like he needed to, he mainly did it to support the man, but... over time Bruce became really...agressive about it.

it was true that Dick was able to leave at this point; hell, any time he wanted to really but he just...felt too guilty about it.

After a afternoon spent being screamed at, he wasn't sure if he was able to take anymore though. He tried his hardest, doing unreasonably high flips and jumps and punching bags until his knuckles bled; although he wondered if they could anymore since the skin had turned so hard now.

There was plenty more of course, he worked himself to his limits, past even, and it wasn't good enough.

Pathetic.
Weak.
Try harder-
GO harder.
Hit harder